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be more confident


 

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How to be more confident by Tiago

"It just feels like being home again. It feels like 'I can make it alone'. It feels like meeting yourself for the first time and falling in love with it."

How I did it: Being confident is all about listening to yourself and to your own needs. Sounds simple, but it takes a whole lot of effort.

The first thing I actually did was look for help. I found an all-around therapist that actually helped me find myself again. It was kind of an alternative therapy that involved reiki, florals and acupuncture. It really did work, I must say.

After doing this, I started paying a lot more attention at my physical body. I found out my eating habits had been trashy, and then I became a vegetarian. Only by doing this I lost 30 pounds. Unbelievable. And better than that, I started feeling a lot healthier.

Mind, body and soul were then put in their right place. It was then time to change my habits: I found out I shouldn't try to make people like me. People should like me as a consequence of who I actually am. Therefore, I stopped doing things I wouldn't actually do myself, but I ended up doing to please people. Stopped going to places where I didn't feel I belonged. Stopped listening to music I didn't really appreciate. Stopped getting involved with people I didn't feel I should. You might think it feels lonely. It doesn't. It feels righteous.

As a result, I started doing things I had always wanted to do. I started behaving in a way I had always wanted to. And it was really funny how people were even more receptive after I had become less flexible and adopted a more positive attitude towards life.

And I went shopping. I know this may sound futile, but a good shopping spree might help. And it was really funny how my style changed after all this process. What's outside reflects what's inside, I guess.

Need I not say, then, quitting smoking was a side-effect of all this. A "part of the process" kind of thing that I didn't even get to feel. All because I didn't actually attack smoking itself, but what caused it.

I should actually end this with a song sung by Nina Simone:

"Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me...

...And I'm feeling good!"

Editting: Yet developing my final step: a 60-day lonely budget trip across South America =)

Lessons & tips: Well, here follow some steps that I naturally took and maybe they should be some help:

  1. Listen to yourself. Sometimes we stick to habits that we don't really like;
  2. Try to forget about what other people want you to be like;
  3. Take care of your body. Feeling beautiful is a huge step towards a good self-esteem;
  4. Don't do anything to impress on people. They should like you as a consequence of who you are, and not the other way around;
  5. Look for help if you think you should. Humility is not an antonym to Confidence.
  6. Don't fear change. Embrace it!

Resources:

  • Alternative therapies;
  • Florals;
  • Acupuncture;
  • New clothes!


151 people found this helpful
 

Oct 16, 2008, 05:12AM PDT | 13 comments | 130 cheers



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    People doing this are also doing these things:

    Entries

    SilverSiren is uncovering what destiny holds in store for her

    say it..say it out loud 1 day ago

    I want to be more confident for a number of reasons. NOT OVER CONFIDENT but a little more… About my art, my singing, my poetry and everything else I refuse to admit out loud that I am “talented” at (or so I am told…constantly sigh) I admit I am a bit overly modest… BUT I cant help it… I just… dont want to seem like a snob is all. Wish me luck! :3

    Nov 08, 12:03PM PST | 0 comments


    Weezur

    Untitled 6 days ago

    I’ve never been free to be who I am because I have never really been accepted, and when I have been the person who I am, I don’t like it. I don’t like who I am, I need to change that so I can be more confident. If I don’t like who I am, how are others supposed to?

    Nov 03, 05:19AM PST | 1 cheer | 1 comment


    sweet vv is getting there!

    i would consider it done 1 week ago

    if i didn’t feel that there’s still some more confidence to come. i think i can do a lot better than this and i lot of people see this potential in me too. i can say that in the past 12 months my confidence has grown 110%. but if there’s still more confidence to come i won’t stop doing what i’ve been doing.

    Nov 02, 07:48AM PST | 0 comments


    typeoplus taking a nap

    Untitled 1 week ago

    WHat is there to keep me from being confident?
    What is there to do or gain?
    I am just be sincere,kind, not pushy,and good to people around me
    Try my best to smile and look everyone in the eye?

    Nov 01, 02:13AM PST | 0 comments


    lyk0s is inspired :)

    Tomorrow I will begin to build it back 1 week ago

    This semester a huge change has overcome me. It started with a little negative thinking and spiraled out from there. Now I feel as though my sense of self is lost because I constantly try to please other people, and my confidence is shot. I can follow how I got to this place, but it doesn’t matter now. Tomorrow I’m going to face the world and start feel good about myself, not caring what others think. My goal by next Friday to have picked a college major and start being myself.

    Oct 29, 08:15PM PDT | 0 comments


    dove1dove is trying to be a positive force in life.

    #26 1 week ago

    I’m creative in my own strange way.

    Oct 29, 02:52PM PDT | 0 comments


    _Em_Jay_ is chillin out

    not there yet 1 week ago

    im alot more confident then i used to be, but theres still some improving needs doing, i get a bit hesitant when i have to ring someone i dont know (at work ect) just little things like that i notice, a months ago i was scared answering the reception phone so i’ve come a long way. im also more confident on the social scene but i been for a while tbh, i wasn’t so much at school but since i left a year ago i’ve become alot more cinfident around friends and familly.

    being shy was cute when i was little but know its just strange

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    ailuig on her tiny planet

    an intense w-e... 2 weeks ago
    • gave my first injection (and not to a simple patient…but to my scared pregnant friend)!
    • went to a party where i didn’t know anyone but the one who was throwing it (and cleverly left unnoticed, very very soon.).
    • tried to defeat/live with my migraine…uselessly, but bravely.

    Oct 26, 12:14PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments


    7daydreamer is getting back on track

    almost there 2 weeks ago

    I am definitely more confident. But I am still at the level I want to be. I need to accomplish more of my goals. Lose weight, get into shape. Then I will get there, meanijng complete more of my 43things.

    Oct 23, 08:40PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments


    amandamh

    Untitled 2 weeks ago

    This is more difficult than most of my goals. It’s more of a long term process. Affirmations and meditating help. I’m on my way, I feel physically fit, proud of where I am in school, my job, my friends and family. It’s just a matter of remembering those things when I’m in nervous situations. Test one: meeting my boyfriend’s mom tomorrow evening…

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