Claudia you get points for breathing in and out
Untitled
11 months ago
i don’t know how.
I used to have conversations with jesus, and now I don’t believe in that anymore at all, and I feel really completely alone.
How to reconnect with God
It made me
Right-side up again. 
"Maybe God doesn't fit inside our box of preconceived expectations. And maybe we aren't meant to, either."
How I did it: I couldn't decide whether to say that this took me 8 years, or just 2 days. Strangely enough, I think I was actually connected with God all along, but was feeling too mixed-up to understand how.
A couple of weekends ago I happened to pick up two seemingly unrelated books that turned out unexpectedly to dovetail with each other and with a lot of the spiritual issues that have had me so perplexed. One was called The Shack, by William Young, a book about a man's struggle with the age-old question of why an all-powerful God allows so much suffering and chaos in the world. It wasn't preachy or syrupy at all, and took a different approach from any other book on the subject that I've heard of. The other book was The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd, a heartbreakingly well written novel that seemed to me to have a lot of profound spiritual truths wrapped up in the lives of its fictional characters.
Both books questioned our society's basic assumptions about God and the shape that we expect God to take in our lives. They made me think that maybe my own personal understanding of God is not as crazy or as unacceptable as I thought, even though it doesn't seem to fit comfortably within the strict doctrinal framework of the church where I was raised. Maybe God isn't exactly the same shape as codified church doctrine, and maybe that's OK.
I can't say that I'm at the end of this journey, and I definitely don't have all the answers and probably never will. But lately I feel fuller, and freer, as though I've begun to remember which way is up.
Resources: The Shack, by William Young
The Secret Lives of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd
Entries
Faith...
2 years ago
... to have that certainty that God is there with you even when you don’t feel or hear him. Having faith first, and not allowing that doubts and fear get in the way. To walk one has to first take a conscious decision and taking the steps towards it. Faith comes first and the path will start clearing. Start walking and God will manifest.
I think the secret was preparing for it like one prepares for love to come. Clear the house, make time for a relationship, be selfless, and really make an effort to make it work.
I started looking for God earnestly with a deep sorrow and desperation to have him in my life. And slowly but surely He started showing me things that I needed to remove so that He could move in. I’m still in that process but we are cleaning the house together. I’m getting there … but we have definitely reconnected and this time I’m not letting go.
went to church on sunday
2 years ago
it’s been a long time.
i went to an Anglican church, mostly elderly people. it was a Eucharist service.
the sermon was forgettable, the singing very quiet and uninspiring, but i have always loved the repetiveness of the litergy, it feels like meditation.
didn’t feel any major connection, but i felt some measure of peace.
this song by SA rock band Tree63
2 years ago
is probably the one ‘religious’ song that has moved me in the past how-many years, when it comes to connecting to God…
A Million Lights
Can we hang out tonight underneath your ceiling?
I could stare up at a million lights and listen to you breathing
If I fall fast asleep it’s just because I feel so safe in you
It won’t take much to wake me up
Could i walk out to sea way beyond these breakers
We have no place amongst the movers and the shakers
Yours is the only throne I’ll ever get down on my knees before
You have the whole of me
Lover come away
Come away my lover
I heard you say you’ve stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes
When I fell down you raised me up
That’s gravity
Yours is the only throne I’ll ever get down on my knees before
You have the whole of me
Lover come away
When I fell down you were standing there waiting for me
You picked me up, welcomed me home
That’s gravity
Won’t you come away
Won’t you come away with me
Lover of my soul
~ John Lee ~ setting my sights lower so I can set them higher
No Answer (Yet)
2 years ago
But I Have Faith
connecting up with my 'submerge' entry...
3 years ago
i feel my most spiritually connected in the water. looking forward to more of this.
or i could think of going back to the 12 step program i used to go to. that also helped me to connect…
hmmm
