do one thing a day that scares me

My whole life I’ve thought that you could get by and be happy with just having love in your family and relationships. I’m slowly coming to the realization that at least for me, it is going to take a bit more than that. I need to have some passion for the career that I’m doing. A life that is full of passion in every aspect is a life that I want, very badly. I’m so scared to go for it. I’m scared I won’t get what I want and I’ll fail miserably. I’ve realized in the past few days that I need to make a change. A very substantial one. I need to make this change my top priority. It is hard to accept that the way that I thought my life would work is not working anymore. It is hard to swallow the fact that I can’t just keep working this job. It is draining my life-energy. I can feel it, I can see it. It is the one thing pulling me down. It needs to stop. Times are tough for the job market but I’m tougher, I hope. I’m so scared. I vow to never stop trying to get a better job and a better situation that fits my passions more closely.

I VOW this. And it scares me.

my heart is fluttering and my tummy is jumping around. I did something that really freaked me out just now and I hope it will bring me to do more things and freak me out and jolt me out of my comfort zone.

I am so scared right now.

Hopefully this fear will morph into something else and bring on a rush of new, wonderful feelings.

I’m hoping.

I called on that job that I really want. I talked to the HR person. It was terrifying and it took me about 20 minutes to build myself up before the call. A lot of positive self-talk helped me do it as well as practicing what I was going to say beforehand. I will not allow myself to remain static any longer. I will TRY! That’s the least I can do is try to get out of this current situation.

Great article: http://www.dietforanewyou.com/scare.html

I passed a bus on my bike. It was really freaky. But I made sure there was space and checked to be sure it was clear in the other lane and I did it!

I am transferrng schools. As a second semester sophomore. I’ll be close to home at least but still…gulp This school is comfortable i have some great friends, but i can tell its just not the place for me…

12.5.08
I am trying to get ride of the girl that is not good for me, she is my friend and i cant handle her, i sent her a message today and she is sending me a million relatlation emails and calls for me that was brave to tell someone i cant handle u anymore…

I am in a new suite with suitemates who are close, i kind of came in today and butt myself in the conversation(nicely) and invited L to go to a club with me for volunteering.

Helped out with a campus movie, some kids are making a movie and they needed help. I met cool people and i was really worried about being shy but i talked well and it was fun!

NOTHING. AH FAIL!!! I want at least a ten day consecutive list.

2/24/08:

2/21/08: Asked gorgeous dreadlock M out to lunch. He said sure, stupid me said “SOMETIME” I should have said a specific day/time. Oh well, he knows which floor I’m on, if he’s interested, he’s interested and he’ll put in the effort.

Today I will start the list. I will try to update every day with one thing

2/18 : I went into the room and took pictures of my friends. Well obviously not good friends if I am scared of condescending Rebecca’s snide comments. But yeah, I did it.
2/19: Went up to Will (hottie) and introduced myself we (but were slightly tipsy) this weekend
2/20 Gave Elliot a birthday present which consisted of a Chik Fillet biscuit and vitamin water. He looked happy, and blushed. He’s a good guy.
2/21 NOTHING YET. I WANT TO ASK MATT TO LUNCH, ive never done anything like this before…LETS SEE