discover who i really am

I have been running to certain things/places for answers but I have come to the conclusion…what do I want in and out of life? And now that I know the question to ask myself I am trying to figure that out.

I have no idea who I am inside. I need to take the time and meet myself.

I was going to delete this goal from my list to make more room and consolidate a lot of goals that kind of tap into the same ideas, and I realized something. Part of the reason I wanted to remove this goal was because I don’t really need to discover who I really am…I have already kind of done this!

I am:

Stephanie

strong

empathetic

caring

playful

an artist

going to be a counselor

a lover of God

a friend

a listener

imperfect

accepting

adventurous

a daughter

a sister

ME!

I need to know you more now than ever. Time is going by so fast.

I heard a song about 4 months ago and it made me think deeper into things. I want to bring the real me out. i feel like i am like two people squeezed into one. There is a really daring side to me that just wants to take risks no matter what happens and talk to everyone. Then there is the side that is shy and never says anything around people i don’t feel comfortable around.My problem is i want to be that risky and daring person but i can’t because the shy side overpowers the daring side.

I’ve been listening to a band I’ve loved since I was in 4th grade. Something Corporate. It really inspires me to actually be someone; effect at least one person’s life. I don’t want to be the person who you think is going to accomplish so much in their life, they have so much promise, and then you see them years later as someone who’s fallen from grace. I want to push myself that extra mile. I don’t want to see myself fall. I need to push myself in school and stop being so lazy about everything. I want to show all of them I can be someone who actually becomes something and figures out what I want to do instead of just screwing around.

I feel like I’m living in the shadow of my sister. I’ve been told at least twice a day that I look, talk, speak exactly like her. I mean, it’s a compliment, but I feel like I’m not original. A biter. She’s going off to college this summer, so I feel that this year and next year, I’m actually going to explore who I am. I’m sick of not knowing who I am, not having a real opinion. I’m not just a parrot. I’m my own person.

i know what i want to do. i want to be a writer, and be seen as an intellectual and philosopher. other than poetry and writing, i am not sure who i am. i live a very protected life. i just want to know what i am meant for, and achieve at what i try. i want the ability to determine what is meant to be attempted, and what is not. so i will try to discover myself through my writing.

I know who I am and I like it…what I don’t like I’m trying to work on…but I know who I am and I know that I have people in my life who love me for who I am, and not for who I pretend to be. Nobody truly loves me for who I’ve pretend to be!

...and I think I’m going to write one, but first I need to fully understand what a mission statement is. I know my dentist mission statement is customer care and quality..but if I make that my personal mission statement I think ya’ll will think I’m a call girl hehehehe!