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JudithKD We aren't giving up on things anymore?

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JudithKD We aren't giving up on things anymore?

Thanks again, 3 months ago

yeah, I know many of you didn’t do anything, but Ruth was right, in writing this down I saw a few things: the 2 major threads, the letter, and now what was wrong with the other letters.

The first letter (to Judy at 7) was by far the best one and it has been niggling at me that I didn’t know WHY. The letter about the house that’s included in this thread is the same, it’s better, and I wasn’t sure why….

Well, I think I figured that out. The 7 yo letter ends with me telling my younger self that she’s loved and even if she can’t feel me real well when she cries in the dark, I’m there for her.

Upbeat, caring, emotionally involved.

The letter about the house stuff ends with my saying something to the effect that tomorrow will be different, it usually is, and therefore my being discouraged will likely be different too.

Also upbeat, caring, and emotionally involved.

The other 3 letters do NOT end that way. So that’s one of the “I have to fix it” issues dealt with.

God I love this place!

jkd



JudithKD We aren't giving up on things anymore?

Ok folks, I'm stuck 3 months ago

and as usual these days, this is where I turn for help.

The memoir is set up now in this rough format:
a letter to my younger self
narrative describing what’s behind the things mentioned in the letter
resolutions to those problems (if any).

That works great for all the stuff EXCEPT the house/camoflauge stuff. This has been going on ever since I was a small child and is still going on now.

The letters were written at pivot points in my life. There is NO pivot point here. In trying to figure this out yesterday I made a list:

Little Big Horn mosaic-something I made at camp, put on display in my room and got laughed at

Dog and Pony Show – the toy dog story

Hiding in the cabinets – my safe place = hiding in my dad’s stereo cabinets

Blanche Dombeck- a person (unknown to me a well-known artist) who gave me a picture she made because I liked it so much, housekeeper’s dog peed on it nd it was thrown out

boarding school various stories, mostly not told here, 2nd thru 5th grade

LETTER 1 (2ND GRADE)

Locker jr high-

6th grade being bullied by an 8th grader coz my locker was a mess6th-8th? being locked in a locker, because I was so small they could

Joan E.- the school counselor who tried

private high school (AZ, 9th grade) -Fishpond: being thrown in, coz I was small enough they could

Recording-sr year in hs, my “friends” recording me making love w/my boyfriend, they all thought (incl. bf) that it was “funny”

Rape-date rape w/4 witnesses

neighbor’s cigarette raid-neighbor kids decided I shouldn’t smoke so they came to “visit” and broke all my cigaretts. When I protested, their Mom said “you shouldn’t smoke.”

LETTER 2 17 YO (?)

Philip/cigarettes- I had a carton of cigarettes and a friend wanted a pack. He broke in in the middle of the night. I was masturbating in my sleep, he announced both that he’d broken in and taken the cigs and the other to my friends/Dad the next day.

LETTER 3 1974/MENTAL HOSPITAL

Mental Hospital- no comment!

Messy Bessie- I worked for some people in college who called me this. The fact that the process I was doing involved two glues, which reacted with each other was not supposed to be a factor?

S.B.- college – Trashcan- Being picked up and put in a trashcan by my boss, because he could

LETTER 4 DH

Using My Screwy Past as an Asset – Revealing my past as an asset in a job interview to possibly help troubled teens. I didn’t get the job, but it was the first time I presented my background as an asset rather than a deficit.

CSC/security check – If I haven’t told the story of how I was “certified sane” here I should have….

Present day – camoflauge*

OK, the one thing that became obvious to me when I made this list was that my privacy issues are all wrapped around the camoflauge thing as well as the “feeling safe” part.

As far as I can see there’s no neat category here, no neat time line where x or y or z happened. There’s no resolution, the only aha in this that I can think of is about 15 years ago my friend J finally convinced me that I really could have some privacy, a weird concept to me.

Comments, questions, ideas, whatever input you can provide will be welcomed. Thanks!

Judith



lynnwords is planning an upstairs/downstairs indoor garage sale

learning to ask for help 3 months ago

Somehow I grew up thinking it is wrong to ask for help. I guess I got away with it for more than three decades. I’ve been practicing this skill of “asking for help” for eight years now. I find it most hard to ask my friends; I feel more comfortable giving help.



JudithKD We aren't giving up on things anymore?

I am working on an entry for a writing workshop 7 months ago

and want to incorporate the post I made about working at the farm stand when I was so joyously happy. I can’t find it. Does anyone know which goal of mine I posted that in?

It’s the last piece, and I really want to use it, it’s the only place I know of where my writing actually shows the abundant joy I had last summer?

Thanks in advance—

jkd



Teamwork makes the dream work! 19 months ago

Hi there. I wanted to ask you whether you know anyone who would be interested starting a new business as a wellness coach. I am a professional athlete in my country and I was always interested in good nutrition. I have started my own business in this field 8 months ago and I am now ready than ever to expand my business abroad. Do you no anyone who might be interested so that I can send him or her some information about it? Thanx.



help 2 years ago

Its not that i particularly need help, but even for little things i would prefer to do it myself even if it means alot more effort or pain. For example I have needed to move furniture there were people that could have helped, but isntead of asking for help i, with great efforts, moved it all myself (and couldnt feel my arms the next day).



find it so hard 2 years ago

i find it so difficult to ask for help, i end up sat alone in my misery with no one knowing the extent of my problems, which only end up getting worse. i’m ashamed you see, for me asking for help shows weakness, it’s stupid i know but i find it difficult to get rid of this attitude.



Quit self-destructing 2 years ago

Ok. So I don’t want to hurt this badly any longer. Its been 14 years now. I need to let go of the pain, agony. Accept things I cannot change, change things I can, and realize the difference.



Just ASK!!! 2 years ago

I recently read a great book that I highly recommend called The Aladdin Factor.

Historically, I’ve always been hesitant to ask for help, ask someone out, ask for anything. After reading this book, I’m looking at the power of asking in a whole different light.

Check this review out for the low down.

Good Luck!



Baby = needing help 3 years ago

And that’s what family and friends are for!




 

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