be artistic again.

Wanting and being and doing, different things. I used to not be able to stop making things or writing. Now I start and each time it feels like a dry, rough, grating motion and nothing comes of it. I have lost every spark of beauty and ability that I had. Maybe part of it is shame – I am not “talented”, I just used to really like to make things, so I feel so self conscious when I try now, as if I need to do something well to prove something.

I need to just do something, bad or good, just to do it.

But I am afraid.