not hate myself

sometimes hard to be the way i am .
but i know i cant change it.
I know ill never get what i wish i was .
maybe the knowing will help me realize i just have to like who and what i am

iv began to accept myself. im seeing more positive stuff now. and im even starting to like my wobbly bits. ^^

I am destroying my self, my health, my body, but people say ur fine,ur great, which makes me angry more
my relationships, just tried every thing to let people hate me and have nothing to do with me but where i live they just gives u excuses and forgive u and that makes me hate me more, once i start screaming gooooooo away i don’t Deserve being loved why don’t u hate me (not hating me makes me hate myself more I know that is so sick but really don’t know why

I had no child traumas, no bad or hurtful experience, no reason at all except wanna no one to have nothing to do with me, I wanna no one to likes me or thinks of me or invites me to any thing ,but that well never happen

soooooooo why i hate myself without a reason at all?

I lead many lives and have a different face for each place person day. When im alone in my room, the past grows larger to much to be ignored i feel as though i have created a pile of broken promises the cling to my back and weigh myself down. Years of therapy, hospitals, accidents, injuries, broken bones, disgust self loathing are tricky to shake off. i know better but the idea of stopping consciousness seems like it would be a relief

so far not hating myself is not working out to good.