stop being a pushover

I’m such a pushover. I want to make everyone happy, but in the end it just turns out to be huge mess. I’m sloooowly learning to speak up and voice my opinions…but its so difficult. I know i won’t get far in life if all i do is try to please others. I’ll end up living someone else’s life instead of mine – I’ll pursue other’s dreams instead of my own.
I hate causing conflict though. I hate drama. And I hate making a situation more complicated…
EFF.

used to really like having this fren around..till she move over and kept coming to my house to eat whenever she’s hungry..wonder why she’s not more considerate and at least offer some dishes once in a while rather than eat for free all the time..sigh.. but, it is difficult to bring up this matter..don’t want to affect the friendship esp when she’s having family problems..sigh….any advice?

I’m in a good position to make some progress on this front, and I think I’ve made some already. When I saw the situation for what it is, my first thought was to leave, but now I know I have more to gain by standing up to it and growing from it. This is one of my greatest personal weaknesses, and that makes it a valuable use of my time and energy.

I guess one of the reasons this is such a big problem for me is that I don’t like drama, and I don’t like to give anyone a reason to think badly of me. But when drama comes to me, and I take it on the chin, that’s no better. Also, I don’t like to think badly of people, and it’s hard not to do that and at the same time to realize that they’re wrong and to confront them. It just doesn’t fit into nice little categories of how I should think, feel, act, or not. Ah, such is the nature of this pan-dimensional Venn-diagram we call life.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

It is not like I want to be a pushover, I just am. I do get a bit envious of people who can just say and do what they want, without a care in the world what people say, think, do, and so forth. I do not know why I want to make people happy, it never works. Yet, I continue to do it despite knowing this fact. The sad part is, I allow people to take advantage of me and I practically let them use me and abuse me. I will definitely admit that it is my fault I allow it to happen but at the same time, people should know better that that is not how you treat people. I am not stupid, I can see that most people are using me for their needs yet, I am naive and will convince myself that they really value me and not just for the fact that they know I will always be there for them.

i give into peer pressure way to much :/

I’m sick of not being able to speak up.

I just can’t retort back when someone just brush me aside or be rude to me. Just don’t know how to give it back to them good!

I hate myself for being a pushover.. I guess I have such a strong desire to please others and am very afraid of being scolded by others or being disapproved by others. Sometimes, I think that it is because I cannot really approve and accept myself and so has been relying on external approval. But, I am sick and tired of being a pushover! Yet, the strange thing is that when I start being assertive, I worry non-stop and ended up feeling guilty about whether I was being selfish.. Sigh.. However, I know that I cannot afford to be a pushover as this is not the way to help others too. I need to be true to myself and be kind to myself too.

Its pretty hard for me, my whole life I always wanted to make everyone happy but latley its been hard. Im a junior in high school and I managed to go through my whole life without drama. But at a price, I avoid drama by trying to someone who I’m not, trying to MAke everyone like me, but I come off to people as being a pushover, someone weak, I keep telling myself to be myself but its getting pretty hard. I’m just scared of change. Is this normal or pathetic…