Harijan Romantic Self-Knowing Believer
with getting bigger and bigger in these last couple of weeks of pregnancy, moving around has been very difficult. i’ve found myself a few times on the kitchen floor, crying in pain and frustration. my hips and back would be killing me but i’d be starving, but the pain of standing would be so distracting that standing in the kitchen would get me nowhere closer to making a meal. lately, i’ve found myself not eating just because i didn’t want to get up. its difficult when i’m alone most of the time. my husband has been great to come home from work some days and cook us dinner, but he can’t do that all the time and he’s already done so much, i don’t want him to spend his time at home catering to me. i DO wish my mom was here! friends of mine have offered me to come over and eat dinner with them and stuff, but first of all… it just seems so weird to call and ask them, HEY, can i come over for dinner!? i don’t like intruding or inviting myself over people’s houses. and second, i’d need someone to drive me. i am not in any driving condition right now. so in the end, i decide NO on inviting myself over someone else’s house AND asking them to come pick me up, too. sigh sometimes i’ll grab a few things from the fridge and closet, things that can stay out of the fridge for a while, and pile them around me so i don’t have to get up. but i think i’ve worked my way through much of the food that can survive that sort of longevity without risking going bad AND being healthy enough. i mean, i could surround myself with a bag of chips, the left over halloween candy, crackers, and cookies… but in the end i’d hate me and my baby would hate me. HAH! my husband joked that i should write out an inventory of the food in the house so i can sit and contemplate what i want to eat and then get up and go get it instead of wasting time trying to figure out what i want amidst the pain. he was joking, but i don’t think that’s such a bad idea… hahah! so i need to eat more food. who would have thought that at the end of my pregnancy i’d have trouble eating too little… i’d order delivery, but i only have 6 bucks in my purse and places around here won’t deliver unless my order is 10 or more. o.O i have never felt so alienated from my most favorite activity.
