stop smoking forever

this has ruen things for me and now i can’t sing and that is what i like to do so if i don’t stop i will not be able to do anything i love so i going to really try hard to stop and know i can make it with help.

I have read a few entries and one in particular has inspired me. My biggest fear is gaining weight (I gave up anorexia/bulimia and took up smoking). But by golly I am going to give it a damn good go to give it up FOREVER. I hate smoking, I hate the smell, the yellow fingernail, the looks from other people. And mostly, the cost. I could be funding my trip to Paris or paying this off my credit card. I must give up smoking.

Well, there must really be something to this Chantix. I have had the LEAST cravings ever since I started it. I don’t know, maybe I just really want to be a quitter this time for sure. I am just so glad that it’s happening.

Friday night I had a few drinks and I began to think I needed a cigarette. So, I put Lydia in the car and we went down to the store to buy some cigs. I never opened the pack. Lydia said to me “Mommy, I thought you gave up cigarettes.” I want to be a good example for her. I want to do what I say and say what I do.

Somehow, just having the pack available to me was comforting. I thought about smoking one, but then I thought about how I would smell. I thought about how it would make my sheets smell like cigarettes again and I just washed them. I don’t want to be unhealthy or stinky anymore. The only way to do this is to stay a quitter. I’m going to do this.

Ok, I officially haven’t smoked a cigarette since Tuesday March 11, 2008. That makes this my 6th day quit and if I keep up the good work for a year…it will be one year on my birthday. I have given myself the gift of health and long life for a birthday present this year. This is my third serious attempt to quit. I am using the Chantix this time. I think it is helping…but I have been having some CRAZY bad dreams. I hope that doesn’t keep up for long. Thanks for being here for me 43 things. I plan to lean on you often as a place to vent. Talk to you soon.

Ok, last time I tried to quit smoking…I was a basket case. It was SOOOOO hard. I was really freaking out. This time, it’s easy. This is day 2. I have 2 100’s in my purse in case of emergency. Yesterday, I kept telling myself…”if you really need one – have one.” But, I stayed strong. I know I can do it!! I am going to the library to get some books for support. One year from now I hope to be smoke free for one year! And…thinner to boot. Good luck to me!!!!

It has now been 2 months since my last cig. The first month was easy because I was in the US where nobody smokes, except maybe for the assasins and tax evaders. But back in Europe it is very difficult. Just you try to sit down at a cafe and everybody around you will be inhaling in the most desireable, sophisticated way. Plus my spouse is a chain smoker. The next cigarette is always within reach…

It seemed nearly impossible to just stop smoking – to not give in when i wanted a cigarette, and keep doing that forever. It would work for a day or two or ten then i would buy a pack one day without even thinking about it.

It became very easy to smoke when i realized, not decided, that i was not a smoker. i looked at myself and asked myself if smoking was really “me” or if i was just doing it for another reason – the answer i got was that i smoked for a thousand different reasons: relaxing, waking up, socially, out of habit, before and after everything i did, to fill up awkward moments.

all of those reasons were external – the world made me do it, like when i got stressed or bored or tired or too awake. So i decided that smoking was no longer going to be the quick fix for these situations – because it was just another cause of stress from the outside. expensive, smelly, unhealthy, inconvenient (in NY), and repulsive to non-smokers.

So instead of just ignoring the fact that i wanted to smoke, i took each craving and replaced it with something else – like taking deep breaths to relax or starting a conversation when things were awkward or singing a song on the walk to class or playing the drums when i was bored.

I’ve smoked a few cigarettes socially since then, but i’ve never gone back to smoking on my own, and it’s been 3 months.

I’ve started the process to quit smoking for GOOD. What a friend suggested was that I quit smoking one cigarette a day. I used to smoke a pack and a half a day…and now I’m down to nine. It’s nice, because it doesn’t feel like such a HUGE sacrifice, you do it gradually and it really seems to work. YAY!

and it’s been two days i don’t smoke.
hooray.

just told on the other topic that i got sick. and i just couldnt smoke without almost pass out.

reduced a lot and now i’m smoking one cigarette a day and i intend to stop. give me strengh and luck.