Not sure about that – but just to update this one – since I set the goal while I was still unemployed – I started working in the assistant rehab specialist job five weeks after that last entry. I enjoy it immensely as I’m always learning, and my supervisor has 30 years of experience and a very forward-looking attitude. We are continually figuring out ways to restore our homes to look historically correct on the outside while making them comfy, functional and energy efficient on the inside. It’s fun to take a hundred year old house and know that you’re making it good for another hundred years. Right now I’m studying to become certified as a rehab specialist within the next two years.
PLUS
I’m not giving up on the writing. “The best written cover letter in all my 26 years running this place.” Not bad, coming from our big boss, who has his PHD in English and used to be an English teacher. I don’t have to write much for work – the grantwriting’s up to the resource development team, thank goodness – but in crunch times I’m asked to edit and proofread, which I do gladly. The good thing is being in a good environment, with people who share my values. Several of the other staff people are artists outside of work, and our big boss is very supportive and encouraging. So long as I continue to refine my writing goals I believe I can grow as a writer while still working here, and feel no sense of conflict or frustration about balancing the two.
Entries
I stopped going to the career counsellor some time after the last entry. Part of the problem is that I have so many interests and skills, but nothing that is central. At this moment, the two areas I keep returning to are writing and properties.
I am decent writer, and at times have made a living with it, but not keen on being a professional writer of articles, or a proofreader or editor, though I’ve done those things. I might enjoy larger, more sustained projects as I have at times in the past. I also prefer working in a small team environment. Ghost writing and other forms of writing in partnership are appealing. Non-fiction is appealing – especially writing about what other people do for work. I will eventually write a novel or two to say I tried (perhaps historical fiction), but I’m certainly not planning on making my living as a novelist.
By “properties” I mean real estate development, buying and fixing up old properties, either to resell or to rent out. Anyway I have two hot leads at the moment. One is for a property manager position and/or assistant; the other is for a rehab specialist job. I also saw an admin asst job for a commercial developer in the paper. I need to get cracking! I don’t know nearly enough, but I become a learning sponge when I’m really interested in the work. I think I need to overcome my fears and go for it. Being unemployed is very demoralizing for me, and I really yearn to be working again.
Working with the career counsellor has proven very frustrating. I’m mostly frustrated with myself for having spent so much money on him when I don’t seem to be getting anything out of it.
from “get an extra job.” I was hoping to do the career contemplation bit while coasting along in my part-time job. But now that the work has petered out yet again, I’m in a serious job search, and can’t dodge the bigger question any more.
Wednesday I meet with a hard-core career counselor. He’s expensive, but I really need the help.
Temp job house painting fell through due to heat illness and my friend meanwhile got a big strapping young guy to paint which is fine with me. It was the social part I was up for. Anyway, I need to paint my own house!
The other offer/not offer is still up in the air. They don’t really know what the positions will be yet. Not surprised that it was bogus, knowing what I knew when the offer was made, but still it’s a disappointment. The up side is that once they get going there should be more work for us at the current place. Either way is not really jumping ship; it is all connected.
What it looked like was what I need and want – something with lots of room for growth and advancement. I am not so interested in power. The credit can go to my boss or team so long as I get paid well for making everything go well. Problem is a lot of places don’t realize they need someone like this until they’ve really gotten themselves messed up. I need them to understand how valuable my skills are even if not flashy. And how much time and money they save bringing me in at the beginning rather than waiting. My boss suggests I write something up for those people.
Meanwhile, I have been networking some and have some well connected people willing to help me find something, but I need to work on resumes and really think what sort of work I enjoy most. I’ve done so many things, but I can’t spend my whole life starting from scratch time and again.
I’ve also thought often about going on my own again, but the drawbacks for me having my own business are major: I hate constantly hustling new work; I am a softy when it comes to setting fees, and I am really bad at collecting moneies owed. I’d need a partner who was more of a hardass. My support skills are often requested by people who have their own little one-man gig, but these people are all at least as erratic or more so than my current boss. So I’d need to figure out a way to package and structure doing this for several “clients” on my own terms. Take the bosses and turn them to clients.
My boss has known the only reason I have not asked for a raise was because we had nothing coming in lately. But that will be changing. Yesterday I told my boss I will be needing a raise and will be needing it soon, and that I can do everything about 5 times faster than I used to be able to do. He said let’s discuss next week. I better figure out what to ask for.
My boss is the nicest sweetest guy. But that doesn’t mean I can make ends meet with that job. Because it is such a small place I know exactly everything about everything. I should be asking for a raise and increased benefits, but there is not enough income to pay for it. I was laid off unexpectedly in Jan and Feb, but did not get unemployment because he kept saying “well, call back in a couple of days, call back next week.” 2 months and it’s not the first time this sort of slow-down has happened either. Then I won’t be there and a big case will finally settle and he will pay off all his debts but he won’t have to pay me because I wasn’t there.
So I’ve been busting my ass and now it looks like there won’t be any work for me very soon. When we discussed it he said he has just been drifting. I often keep the place going. But I don’t have a law degree so I can’t do this stuff on my own. Anyway when he asked what I wanted him to do about the situation, all I could answer, lamely, was that next time he lays me off he should do it properly. He replied that unemployment insurance won’t make it for me. No, it’s true (although last time I was unemployed my check was bigger than what I’m currently earning). BUT if I know there’s no work it is much different than being constantly on call.
He likes to be able to turn me on and off like a tap. This really doesn’t work very well for me – it leaves me unable to structure the rest of my life. Sometimes it’s ok to go like that for awhile, but I should be saving, putting money into a retirement fund – you start to need these things eventually. Instead, while working for him, I’ve had to dip into my previous savings to make ends meet.
I was firm with my boss that I needed to be able to deposit my paychecks, otherwise I had very little motivation to show up at work.
The fulltime offer is going to take awhile, as they don’t unanimously seem to be ready to open the office yet.
OK after the painting is over the search begins.
Since then my friend has asked me to go help him paint his house. So I discussed it with my boss and I will take my regular job and squeeze it into the middle of the week, spend long weekends house painting…
Also, an offer for a fulltime job has started percolating around. (so much for travel goals, for awhile, if that goes through…)
If things don’t work out, I will do a proper job search.
