I was in a 4 year relationship which my boyfriend ended few months back.He said that he has been unhappy for over a year and has been trying hard to make things work.He said that now the love he had for me has left him and he does not feel anything anymore.I know that I have to take a lot of responsibility in this.He was really good to me.For four years he did everything to make me happy,and i know he really loved me.SO it really kills me,that today he has nothing left.He never told me once that he is unhappy.I had no clue.He says that just because he quitely took in everything i never realised that how much he was hurting.Today he is so cold to me that i have troubling accepting that this is the same person who even last year was the most caring guy.I cant stop thinking about the past,how the things I have said and done,must’ve hurted him.Yes i love him with all my heart and never in a million years thought he will do this to me.I am so dependent on him that now i just can’t function without him.I know i need to move on.but i simply cant.Over the years i’ve been hurted a lot,people i loved and cared about,and still do,left me.But i never thought my ex will be one of them.It makes me think the problem lies with me.I am just a worthless person,people will realise it and not want to invest in that anymore,and leave.I want to kill myself everyday.It hurts so much.I killed my happiness with my own hands.I just cant move forward,I feel so jaded.I have been strong till now,I knew I had to be strong and move on and I have been doing that over the years.But this feels like the last straw.I just have no strength in me anymore..I just cant go on.
How to stop blaming myself
How I did it: I went to Al-Anon. Simple as that. I went for obvious reason but I never would have guessed that I would be able to change they way I think after just two months of program.
Lessons & tips: Sometimes if feels impossible. And you may have gone to shrinks and therapist and taken medication. But sometimes, all it takes is listening to another person who feels the same way. Not all problems can be solved by a professional or by prescription (or any other kind of) drugs.
People doing this are also doing these things:
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I can’t tell you what an amazing resource Al-Anon is. I have never thought that I could progress this much in this short of a time. The people I see every week are some of the most amazing, inspirational and supportive people I’ve ever met. I have grown in ways I never would have imagined people of them and program.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever stop blaming myself for some of the stuff I’ve done in the past. But I’m definitely not blaming myself for all my recent decisions (even though I might have in the past.)
Good things are happening.
Ive noticed that when ever somethig goes wrong i end up balming myself . Just this past week a friend of my family died of a drug overdose and the first thought that i had was that i could have helped him . I knew that he was doing drugs ,but i chose to let him live his own life . And now i feel as though he would still be alive if i ad done something .
I no longer feel responsible for having been the victim of an abusive boyfriend. I no longer blame myself for staying in that relationship as long as I did, because I can see now (hindsight is 20/20) how manipulative he was, and how worn down I was, so even though I realized I should get out, I no longer had enough self-confidence to do it. Instead of blaming myself, saying that “I should have known better; I should have handled that differently,” I’m now (finally!) out of the situation and I’ve learned from it. Now I can say, “I DO know better, and I WILL be able to handle similar situations differently.” Instead of focusing on the bad decisions of the past, I’m focusing on the opportunities of the future, armed with the lessons I’ve learned.
Flirt thinks Kanard is kind, sweet and very generous for sharing her chocolate! had a wonderful purple, chocolate, flirtini day!
and started blaming Josh ;-D
P.S. I NEVER blamed Myself!!
