compete in a bicycle race

I’m aiming for one this summer (2010).

I guess if I can’t settle on it, then I must not really want to do it.

I still have great respect and admiration for racers- those gals are my heroes, but it’s not for me.

I do want to try one, just once, just to see what it’s like. Yes, it looks really hard (because it IS really hard), but it also looks like fun.

I really like cycling, it’s a rush, but I’m just not that into it. I had wanted cycling to be my end-all-be-all number one passion, but it’s not. I don’t feel like I’m quiting, because I’m not hanging up my shoes for good. I’m just (finally) making my cycling goals realistic.

I did compete in a race a long time ago.. I would have been fifteen or so (1999 I think), and I raced on an old discarded road bike I found a month prior. I finished somewhere in the middle overall, third in whatever age/gender category I was in.

What changed is not that I lost interest, but rather that I got more and more interested. Sounds illogical… but see, at first, I didn’t care how I went: it’s not like I trained, it was just a bit of fun. Now, I train all the time, I do impromptue-style races with groups of early morning riders. I don’t think I could handle coming somewhere in the middle…

How does one either a) know they’re good enough to race competitively and do well or b) stop worrying about doing well and be comfortable with mediocre?