I cannot say it any better…
It’s wonderful to be home again! 3 years ago
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We are home and almost unpacked, which is amazing in and of itself, LOL!
I traveled more on the honeymoon than I ever have in my previous years of life put together!
We met so many people on the cruise, and sadly, did not see many happy marriages being emulated for us. However, that does not have to be our story.
OUR story is being written by us, a chapter every day. We are back home with cats and dogs, dishes in the sink and full trashcans to be emptied. We are home with the fact that we were gone for nearly two weeks, and storms didn’t take our home away and burglars didn’t break in and steal everything and vandalize the floors and walls.
The pets didn’t escape from the kennel or die, the freezer didn’t quit working, and the basement didn’t get flooded. The planes on which we rode didn’t have mechanical problems, and the ship was not boarded by terrorists.
None of the things about which I worried happened, which was amazing and affirming. I used to be so scared of leaving the house when I was still in Florida, because then I wouldn’t be in control to mitigate when bad things happened. (And bad things always happened, between storms, robberies, and just general neighborhood harassment.) This experience, as wonderful as the trip itself was, pales in comparison to the most uneventful homecoming I have ever had. We came home in darkness, yet to me the house was lit up like a beacon of safety and strength. This is the first time that I have left for so long, and yet, everything was perfectly fine as I had left it. Even the grass and garden looked better than when I had left (because of all the good rains)!
My faith renewed, I put down a small deposit on our next cruise, which means I am willing to leave my cocoon again for new adventures. It may be next year or even in 2012, as I have four (4) years to actually decide. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to something instead of dreading its outcome!
For now though, I’m basking in the familiar of home, enjoying the new blossoms in the garden, and sleeping more soundly with the sound of snoring dogs, purring cats and one happy husband. 3 years ago
A couple evenings ago, an erstwhile online buddy of mine contacted me for chat. I told her of my recent marriage, and she blew a gasket!
Why wasn’t I invited? I’m devastated! I expected to be your matron of honor!!
Notwithstanding that I don’t even know what that role entails, I explained that this was a very small ceremony at home. I said I had no bridesmaids or anything.
After all this time I spent propping you up, you shut me out of your most important day of your life!
My gentle readers, this may be a good time to clarify that this individual and I have never met in person. Also, due to various reasons on both of our parts, there was a withdrawal over time. While we have known of each other for about 10 years online, the last 3 or so have barely involved any time at all. A few chats a year, and some of those quite judgmental about my arrangements with my sweetheart man.
I apologized – saying I am sorry she feels hurt, that was not my intention, and so forth. The conversation ended badly, with her basically telling me I’m selfish, she’s very ill, and goodbye in a huff (in chat of course).
I feel badly yet don’t know what, if anything, to do about it…. 3 years ago
We did it.
Despite last minute hair drier failure…
Despite last minute guitar player injury…
Despite last minute boom-box failure…
Despite high speed winds and storms (the rain is a sign of great luck)...
Despite guests that neither confirmed nor denied attendance…
The ONE thing that really mattered happened…
We are wed.
I’m flat on my back in bed with prescribed therapeutic heat in the tender places, for a few minutes before I start my shower. I’m haven’t taken any muscle relaxants or pain pills for a few days, and I’ve done reasonably well as long as I “don’t overdo” (the catch-phrase from my darling husband-to-be).
However, this inevitably means in the bright sober light of morning, I have absolutely zero buffer between myself and my worry-du-jour.
What if the chuppah blows away?
What if the pastor doesn’t show up?
What if, despite my best-laid plans, a drive-by guesting occurs?
Let me explain—“local” time here tends to run between 10 minutes early and up to 20 minutes late, at any given moment. Pair that undeniable fact with invited honored guests who behave like outlaws, and my anxiety-riddled bridal brain is rife with possibilities.
This is the scenario – I have a few guests who are still not RSVP’ed either way. One guest in particular is quite a show in and of herself. She’s a co-worker as well, which further complicates matters.
I’ll try my best to come, is her answer when queried. (This is after accepting the initial invite with enthusiasm.)
Or, when after I’m regaled with her tales of all her new weekend commitments, I offer her an exit.
So that’s a No, then? If you can’t come, I completely understand.
I then explain that I’m trying for an exact count since I’m renting chairs. (By the way, this same individual said I could borrow chairs from her church and then didn’t follow through, making the necessity of this chair rental task as well.)
Oh, well you don’t need to do anything for me! I’ll just bring my own chair!
My ceremony is outdoors, in a chuppah erected next to the carport so our guests will be sheltered from expected rainy weather. The chairs and a rug will be set inside the carport, and the chuppah is waterproof thanks to my sweetheart man.
This also means the ceremony will be vulnerable to interruptions if someone drives into or marches up the driveway, late, and dragging a chair in tow. It’s like she’s trying so hard to be rude and/or make me upset!
I know it hasn’t happened yet, but I’m already angry about it. One of my other honored guests is very familiar with this individual and her ‘eccentricities’. I hate to give an honored guest a job, but out of desperation I confided in him, and deputized him to run interference if needed. I’m also going to park my SUV (which lives in the carport) defensively to block the driveway and force parking a safe distance from the chuppah.
And that is my current white-hot worry of the moment …. 3 years ago
Last night, I tested the new hair dryer that my sweetheart man acquired for me last night (check!), and put my jewelry, toiletries and makeup together (check!).
I had trouble falling asleep last night, but once I did, I slept hard until my usual waking time. I was proud of myself, the inveterate non-morning person, for rising so quickly.
However, my sweetheart man had long beat me to it! He was being pre-husbandly and in addition to walking dogs, he made time for checking details, such as:
I keep offering to help, but I’m told to rest my back.
Now, he’s outside decorating the chuppah and then off to the store for returns and new purchases.
Time: 8:19 AM ET
Go time: 10:30 AM ET3 years ago
I am very fortunate that every Friday, I get to leave work at 12 noon if my tasks are done. It’s almost like having a long weekend every week!
Today, when my sweetheart man picked me up at 12-sharp, I was concerned. He looked wrinkled and rumpled, very tired. I could barely tell that he had any benefits from the massage session on Wednesday night or the facial session on Thursday night.
You look rumpled and tired, poor dear, I said, trying to smooth his hair, which defied me and then stood straight on end.
We had our salon visit today, and he seemed to enjoy the time to relax while soaking hands and feet. My hands and tootsies are smoother and painted a medium pearlescent blue.
I’ll have to try to get used to that, was the response from my tired t’knight, when I asked if he liked it.
We are weary, and growing more so.
We have accomplished a few things today—we have the rental chairs, and I heard him outside with the leaf blower. I suggested we decorate the chuppah in the morning, once we know how the weather will be treating us.
My hair dryer broke last night, so that means another trip to the store. Also, our guitarist injured his hand, poor dear—but that means we have no live music. So tonight, we need to compile some recorded music to play or decide to have none at all. This also means the purchase of a portable stereo or such to play recorded music, if we decide to go that route.
I have printed out pages of items at the store that would meet these needs, so t’knight can go and just match the box on the shelf to the picture on the paper – complete auto-pilot. He insists that I stay home and rest, because I am still recovering from my back injury.
I’m trying not to worry about: weather, other people, and the rest of the things I cannot control. But it’s difficult! 3 years ago
I am at work only in a corporeal way—my mind is time-phasing between past, present and future events.
And the expected rains have come, with their watery torrents to feed the newly planted garden. Rain on one’s wedding day is a traditional signal of good luck and fortune. I’m gladdened, even though rain complicates the remaining logistics yet to complete.
The guest list has shrunk, but some last minute RSVPs changed from Yes’s or silence to No’s at least give me a morsel of closure. I have the possibility of a drive-by guesting—more on that later.
In a couple of hours, I’ll be starting my manicure/pedicure appointment. My hands and feet will be bathed in cooling waters, like the rains outside washing everything clean. It’s not a mikvah, but it will be my ritual nevertheless.
I plan on even letting my nails get painted, a rich pearly blue. My cameo pin will be old, my dress and veil are new. I’m still needing something borrowed, but I have a little time to decide.
For now, I struggle to stay in the moment, for it’s a very good place to be…. 3 years ago
In about 48 hours from now, I’ll be finishing my first supper as a married woman.
In about 40 hours from now, I’ll be preparing to enter into holy matrimony.
I have my dress, shoes and accessories.
He has new clothes as well, because I wanted him to feel like the prince that he is to me.
Yesterday evening, I treated us both to a full hour massage session.
This evening, I treated us to another relaxation break—facials!
Tomorrow afternoon, I am treating us to another reward—manicures and pedicures / foot treatments!!
Everyone keeps telling me that it is the bride’s big day, that the bride sets the tone, and so forth. What of the groom?
Without him, the garden would not exist. If not for him, there would be no occasion at all.
So together, we primp and preen, toil and then rest. My part is easy, pick up a phone and schedule some appointments. His part has been relentless planning, laboring, and revising plans. His role is to keep me sane as well as keep my house.
He turned my house into a home a long time ago, now complete with stinky socks and men’s shaving kits and toothpicks, which I never use and vaguely detest. My home, with flowers and projects and enhancements most of which I did not dare to dream. My home, with his gardening grime on my good Clinique soap.
This countdown is dizzyingly fast yet painstakingly slow, all at the same time. And yet, in my heart, I know it will come as it has always meant to become. 3 years ago
I’m asking my gentle readers for practical advice. I’ll skip the flowery preamble and get straight to my rant:
Why don’t people RSVP anymore?
We have a very short guest list, but I cannot provide an exact number because some people refuse to committ!
“I’ll do my best to make it.”
“I forgot to ask my spouse, I’ll let you know.” (and doesn’t)
Or just silence (even after requesting an invitation).
I’m renting chairs and providing food need a headcount—even this explanation does not elicit an answer.
Options – rent extra chairs to sit empty in case these people come.
Rent chairs only for those who RSVP’ed (invite contained my phone and were hand-delivered).
Why do people do this?!
I’m getting really upset about this…. 4 years ago
In 9 more days, I will be married.
Nine days ago, I hurt my back moderately well, with the impeccable bad timing for which I am infamous.
Since then, I have:
In between all of this, we have selected a Justice of the Peace, fired him, and selected a lovely female pastor who is a delight to be around.
I also finalized the order for the cake, about which I am very excited.
My back is still tender but getting a little better each day (because I have decided it will be so!). Indeed, through all of this, my sweetheart man has been a rock. He has helped me with every personal thing imaginable, been my best friend, and keeps me sane(ish).
And I get to marry him in 9 more days!!! 4 years ago
I’ve injured my back, and I feel angry and hopeless—and embarrassed for my self-piteous attitude. I saw the doctor yesterday, and he ‘hopes’ I’ll be better in a few weeks but makes no guarantees.
“Children bounce back quickly, if you were younger…” his response trails off.
All I can think about are the negatives: the late invitations, the ones who cannot attend, the dress that I haven’t found, etc. We’re still interviewing officiants, haven’t got material for the chuppah, or a glass to break – and on it goes.
I feel utterly overwhelmed; today is not a good day for this BTB (bride to be). 4 years ago
There was a song many years ago entitled A piece of paper
A trip to a county clerk produced a License from the state that says we may be married.
So much and yet so little. A piece of paper. How can what I feel for my beloved Harmony be reduced to such a thing as a piece of paper…
You just stand with waves of emotion passing over and through you…
A Pre-Nup has been jointly forged and is ready for execution.
Rings have been ordered and delivered.
The venue has been determined: we will be married at our home.
A justice of the peace has been retained (somewhat old and no-nonsence…)???!?.
A marriage license application has been scheduled.
Vacation has been scheduled.
A honeymoon cruise to Alaska has been booked.
There will be a guitar player to amuse host,hostess and guests.
There will be a flash mob reception at the Homemade Ice Cream & Pie Kitchen.
Now the guest list…
4 years ago
Has been found.
What better place.
What sweeter memories…
Than a canopy within a gazebo…
Found our best place of peace and tranquility…
Our own home. 4 years ago
We are somewhat stressed about making PLANS but hopeful about making progress to the end result (would you agree on that assessment, dear?).
The main constraint is keeping down costs (as well as mayhem, lol).Every time I think I’m comfortable with a decision, I start to have doubts, so it feels like one step forward, two steps back.I could really use some feedback from our dear readers:
1) Location, location, location: We thought about getting married at home, in the gazebo out back. I love this idea, and it definitely would be a comfortable and memorable location. We would have a brief ceremony and then go to a different location for a celebratory meal.Also, I’d love the two dogs to be outside with us and the guests, if the furkids don’t get too spooked – and if needed we can put them back in the house away from the guests.
NEED IDEAS / SOLUTION: We have a lot of cats, and they typically have run of the house. If guests are allowed in the house, cats could escape into the yard, which would totally ruin my day with worrying.
(My worry – will folks think us unfriendly or worse if we don’t allow guests into our home? Is there another solution to consider?)
2) Guest list scope creep: neither of us have family members to invite, and we both agree we don’t want a big to-do.
NEED IDEAS / SOLUTION: I thought about limiting it to 10, 4 each plus us. Most of my friends are at work, or out of state. This may sound so dumb, but how do I choose who to invite vs. not? Also, people at work are already wanting to make a work party plans and collection – a potluck would be fun, but I don’t want to impose on people for money / gifts, especially in this economy – and I’m not a 20-something person so my household needs are all set. If people really must do something, I’d much rather they donate for us to the HSUS or ASPCA.
(My worry – will people I work with be offended if they don’t get an invite, or don’t want gifts and suggest a donation?)
3) Care and feeding: We started going to different restaurants to test out for “fit”—something we can afford for 10 and with great food, casual atmosphere, and not a chain / something with some uniqueness. I think we found an ice-cream / pie / cake parlor that would work for a lunchtime gathering – and it has easy parking and is not too far from home, either.
NEED IDEAS / SOLUTION: We will contact the store manager this week, but as long as the store agrees, the food and wedding cake would be all set. They serve soups, sandwiches, desserts and could do our wedding cake as well and store it right there, I would think. Then, I’d need some simple decorative ideas for the restaurant – or would I? I also thought about bringing a guitarist as well (for the ceremony and to the restaurant).
(My worry – will people think this is stupid? We had some of our early dates here, so it’s a sentimental place for us that happens to be affordable as well.)
Maybe I shouldn’t worry about what people think, but since these are my co-workers, I do have concerns. How do I balance all of this??? 4 years ago
There is nothing quite like the reality of a wedding ring.
It moves the whole theoretical aspect of an impending wedding to the immanent.
Harmony has issues with flowers. The girl loves flowers. But the real ones make her sneeze. Although her sneezes are cute in a loving way, they do not make her feel well. So I have made it a mission over the years to try to get various types of flowers that don’t make her sneeze.
So the rings are perfect.
Flowers of gold…
that last forever.
4 years ago
Here is my opening salvo:
I am certain that I want to marry my sweetheart man.
I am of sure of this as my name and my heart beating in my chest.
However, my heart is beating too
(Funny, I just typed “past” in place of the word “fast”, and backed that out.)
I think the two of us getting married is the most wonderful thing, maybe the most wonderful thing I will do in my life. However, there was one grave error….
Now everyone wants TO HELP !!!
There are many choices again.
There are destination weddings that involve making all of your proposed guests shell out various large sums to fly, drive, sail, teleport, etc. to the as far away from everyone as possible location of your choice. (Makes me wonder how many people who LIVE in these locales do the same to LEAVE their otherworldly homes to go to what is exotic for them… likely the back yard of the people travelling TO these places.)
There are the various wedding venues that can involve various country clubs, hotels, river boats, stately old homes, and tourist attractions of all types.
What should a pair of hippies do? I mean, our style is more aligned with a commune than the country club.
Then there is the option of the unique venues I think this is the better choice.
At least for us…
The Louisville Airport is a logical option.
After all, it mostly started there. After all, we just met in the parking lot4 years ago
Planning is a matter of individual taste and budget.
taste, well, that’s a fun topic!
Do a basic google search on a term like honeymoon destinations and you get selections that tend to be in various tropical paradises. They tend to be centered on the Caribbean, or the Far East, or the Mediterranean.
This is all well and good if you are into major sun sports and are into water polo, scuba, sailing, surf boards… Not the sort of skills you have as a pair of hippies that never lived near any oceans.
What we like is good food, nature, places to sit and contemplate, unique shops and gracious service.
This makes me think that a spa destination or a cruise might be an idea….
That way your hotel is also your travel.
It also gets the food and shopping thing down.
It also gets you the chance to be somewhere else while you sleep.
I was thinking somewhere we have never been…
I was thinking Holland America
4 years ago