and said something like, “I’m working on my house and garden and just GLOATING because I’m so happy. Don’t want to go anywhere/do anything else!”
I was thinking about this today while driving to the antique store; it’s true. I am back to that nearly incandescent glow of happiness, but this time I think I know why it’s there. I’m letting myself enjoy not hurting; I’m turning my space into a home; and maybe, just maybe for the first time in my life I feel mostly safe and loved. (Or at least for the first time since I was 3.)
And, yeah, I’m gloating. 50+ years of pain gone is a pretty
thing, feeling almost safe and being pretty sure I’m loved is even better.
Better than the deal with the farm stand four years ago, this doesn’t have anything to do with WHERE I am or WHAT I’m doing; it’s just me.
And that is just about the weirdest, and most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me!
jkd 22 months ago