be less sensitive

I can get defensive easily when questioned, targeted, or falsely accused. My boss and others believe this defensive reaction is a sign of guilt, so they discount any genuine plea. I’m sure there are times that this may be a truism about guilt, and that I have been correctly evaluated, however it’s when I am not guilty it makes me most mad to be incorrectly judged.

Yup, me. Very sensitive about almost anything and everything. I just want to be much less sensitive about things, this way I’ll be able to think clearly in any situation.

Deep down inside sometimes I realize things aren’t a personal attack against me however, I still tend to internalize a lot and my feelings are sometimes easily bruised. Working on this!
The fact that i am so tender with certain matters is ultimately an indication of past wounds not totally healed. YES, I’m self-diagnosing myself. I’m working on it!!!!

So the other half has been harping me to grow a backbone and not take everything so personally. Sounds easy, but I know that it is not. I hope I can work this out quickly as it is causing major issues at home, work, school, and with life in general.

I have improved in this, in that I do not take things personally for very long. I realize that the only reason I am upset is because I am being too sensitive, and I get over it quickly. I would like to work on simple things not bothering me in the first place

My last entry on this was 3 years ago, and there hasn’t been much difference since.

People try their best to hurt me, and they always win.

(It’s part of the job when you work in a hospital)

I don’t know why I feel compelled to write about this under the banner of being sensitive. But I think there’s a point to be made.

I was spending some time with my fiance last night.
And we somehow got into that high five game that kids (and adults) play.

You know the one.

Someone says: “Give me 5”..and you hit their hand.
Then they say “on the side”..
Then they say “down below” etc..

Well when we got to the “you’re too slow” bit, she removed her hand too quickly.
Now, normally my reaction would be to say

“Hey. Let me try again”.
Or say “but you moved your hand too fast”..
Or, say, “hey that’s not fair”.

What do these responses really say about a person. I think they say that:
“I am taking this little game seriously”. “I don’t like losing”.
...
And most importantly
“I don’t like looking like an idiot that can’t hit your hand in time”

Instead of shouting out something like the above i.e. something that would be a hyper sensitive response, instead, I said something else. Something that was uncconcious. And something that got the nicest reaction.

I said “Ohh noooo!!!!!” in a kid’s voice as I missed her hand on the way down.
And she loved it. Not because she observed that I wasn’t being sensitive. The example is too subtle.
But because it made me human. The response played along with the spirit of the game and made it more fun. I loved my response and so did she.

Its a tiny example that illustrates how, if we can modify our response to something, we can feel and appear more real and genuine to other people. I think being sensitive can be a good thing. But we need to choose when it is appropriate to be sensitive to a comment or situation and when it isn’t.
:-)

I’m male, 34, in a relationship. Engaged actually. And hyper-sensitive. To the point where I actually indulge in it.

I wonder whether people that are over sensitive also exhibit another group of behaviours. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I think by understanding the condition better, it might help me deal with it better.

Here’s the behavioural grouping I was thinking about.

You like helping others.
You under value your own abilities and over elevate other people’s abilities
You have low self esteem.
You surround yourself mostly with people who in comparison aren’t as successful, or as good looking as you.
You prefer your own company to others.
You CONSTANTLY reject love from other people.

Can anyone else relate? I’d be interested to get feedback.

done