get a proper diagnosis of my mental illness

Cant stop in going away, it keeps coming back, dont trust even my partner of my immediate family, friends and i dont think i have real reason to distrust, dont know how started … lymphnodes,Vaginitis infection, cluster of lymph nodes in neck , breathing difficulties, have found out lies etc and forgave but always pariond never ever been like this, just want my life back, i want to be me, will i ever be or this. On medication from Doctor now for 2 months Citorplam…. is it not working what I can do…please help me trust my loved ones

I am 26 years old. I was sexually abused when i was little by my step dad. I have problems relating to other people. I find it easier to be alone, but i am sad and angry all of the time. I feel i am very intelligent. The only time i really feel happy is when i get a body piercing. I wish i had a name for what is wrong with me.

ughhhhhhhhhhhh. i just want to ughhhhguhh… fuckin scream.

i think i’m crazy but i’m not. i want to tell. i want to express but i dont kno how.

my mind…goes on and on.
i think it’s just cuz i’m 16 just goin through my teen years. but it doesnt feel tat way. i’m moody and emoional. my mind… the mind i have is not rite. like i dont belong here… there… in this body. this life. this place. idk idk i dont know.

see? i’m goin crazy rite now. cuz i dont kno where to start. it’s not like there’s always sumone or sumthin rite wen i want to express myself…

balhhhh

hi..im a female student, 18 years old…its been a long time…i know somethings wrong with me but i dont know what it is…im always so paranoid n unhappy depressed…life seems so boring and dull.. im always sleepy and tired..im also always cranky n i get irritated so easily.. my mind is constantly thinking and i cant seem to get thoughts off my head…i never seem to fit in with people..i dont like associating or talking to people..i always feel ackward.. i dont know who i am or how im supposed to act sometimes i feel dead like im just there watching everyone in their own little worlds.. i feel like a zombie…i figured i perhaps had the depersonalization disorder but idk..if i do, what can be done?? im scared of seeing a therapist i know all they’ll say is that im ok everything is normal or something…but i know something is wrong.. it makes me mad when i tell people n they just look at me like what the hell?? ur just overreacting, just relax u seem normal to me” ugh!! if only they were in my head! i know theres no cures for mental illnesses so whats the point? i just dont know what to do!!!!...the more time passes by, the more lost and distant i feel…i feel like shit right now ugh! someone please help me =[

blah

i have been having problems for over a year. i can not sleep at night unless i take sleep aids. i have stayed up 3 to 4 days with no sleep. i dont feel tired at all. and i sometimes have little sprits of energy to wear i have to keep moving or i almost start to freak out. and i also have times were i have no will power to do anything and im just really lazy. i have no motivation to do anything. but when im in my i guess you could call it hyper mode i have perfect memory and it seems that everything i do i do it to perfection and when im in my down mode i have HORRIBLE memory and i almost have no idea what im doing.

I think I might have an undiagnosed mental illness but don’t have a clue what to do about it. I’ve been in counciling and it just makes me feel worse. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I have rage issues and violent thoughts. I act on impulse and don’t think things through and the consiquences of my actions never even cross my mind. I’ve even thought about suicide, never contimplated it but seriously considered it. I don’t have a solid support group mainly because everyone thinks I’m fine. I take painkillers almost everyday because sometimes they numb the pain physicaly and emotionaly. I’m also a cutter..I stopped for a bit but after recent stress and termoil in my life have relapsed again. I smoke pot and drink not because I enjoy it but because it’s a temporary escape..I think I need help but I don’t know where to turn.

...But have not much motivation to do so!

I’ve been convinced for the longest time that something must be wrong with me.
I feel depressed a lot, but I don’t think I am because I still eat and live habitually.
Then I realised that what I seem to have is this phobia that if I do something, anything, that something bad will happen to me, or it will make me feel depressed and negative.

What do you say to your doctor when you think you’re suffering from depression without sounding crazy or disbeliving of yourself?

i should really get a diagnosis. I have really bad social phobia and i’m sure at the very least, i have a mild form of bipolar. The thing is, I have a degree in psychology. I’m paranoid that I’ll subconsciously fake the test to make it seem like i have a disorder…or does that just prove my mind is playing tricks on me. WTF?!? Gar I need help. =(

made appointment at counseling center for next wednesday. hope everything goes well. i’m looking forward to the diagnostic testing.