get back on track

Well, 2008 certainly didn’t turn out as I’d wanted it to. I feel I’ve spent the year getting cozy and snuggling and not achieving anything. I’m sure my regrets will come to haunt me at 4 am one of these nights, but in the mean time, let’s try to put past behind us, shall we? Tomorrow is a new day and next year is a new year. ;)

The goal for 2009 will be to get rid of things that are getting on my nerves at the moment. That would be three main areas:

1. living situation – let’s just say it’s connected to this goal.

2. citizenship – until I finish the paperwork for this, I’m in a quite unfavorable position regarding my job and savings.

3. health – want to, need to, have to become a better cook and cook more often! Also, exercising more vigorously wouldn’t kill me, no matter my be nice to myself approach.

These are the things I want to focus on. This is my “track” to get on.

I’m in a rut right now. I’m distracted, not motivated, and a bit weary from work and school. But I really need to get out of this and get back on track.

I have these mini-get-back-on-track-goals every now and then, but I feel I need to do a bigger overhaul, both here and offline.

I had a brain dump yesterday and made a gigantic list of things I want to do in the next couple of months. Some of my patterns and habits will have to change with the end of summer (no more running in the evening, as it’s getting dark; no more biking to work, as it’s getting rainy and cold). I have to take account of my boyfriend and his goals, habits and patterns – it’s no longer me but us, and it’s not something I’m used to. I hate the fact that my free time seems to have shrunk in half since I started going out with him, or that he doesn’t enjoy my hobbies and vice versa, or that we’re each other’s default choice of companion for everything. (_{Still, none of this is his fault and I don’t want to get all resentful because of this, so a reminder, again: this is not his fault, we’re both free to do as we like.})

I need to look at the way I’m spending my time. I have a feeling I’m wasting time, but on the other hand, I counted 39 checked-off items on my to-do list for yesterday. _{But it would be nice not to have to regularly choose between sleeping for at least 6 hours or having sex. :P} I don’t feel I’m very productive at work. I’m not as close to my fitness goals as I’d like to be. I’m scatterbrained and befuzzled. I have a million things I’d like to make progress on, and not making any.

Five days of sun & sea in the morning, home-cooked meals at noon, afternoon siestas and evenings out. Mmm, I think I could keep that up for a while. Sadly, it’s back to work tomorrow. Ah well, back to life, back to reality.

My todo list is now officially two pages long – it’s a new record. I’m declaring this Saturday a day of getting stuff done.

In an obvious sign from “above”, my purse got stolen yesterday, while I was out partying for the third day night in a row (and about the 15th time this month). I plan on living like a monk next month.

I wish i hadn’t deleted my account… I will start over… I had given up on all my goals, i think i’ve forgotten what they were. I want to get back on track, the track i was following, working on myself…

Ok, I’m caught up with laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping and other various chores. I’m eating more or less normally (_{need to get more protein!}), exercising regularly and, in general, taking care of myself. Emails and text messages are replied to. If something isn’t on my calendar, it may as well not exist and I have no qualms about it, but if it is on my calendar, it gets done _eventually.

“Birthdays are like chocolate chip cookies. If you think about how many you’ve had, it makes you kind of sick.”

I have a to-do list as long as my arm, but somehow, 43T feels like top priority right now. :)