Make a list of 100 movie quotes

Bob: Most people don’t know how they’re gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles.

98.Brian Johnson: Saturday, March 24,1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.

99.Richard Vernon: Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
John Bender: Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

100.Andrew: [after Claire has given Allison a makeover] What happened to you?
Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it… What’s wrong?
Andrew: Nothing’s wrong… it’s just so different, you know? I can see your face.
Allison Reynolds: Is that good or bad?
Andrew: It’s good.

97.Penelope: [telling her class her story] And we lived happily ever after – well, happily ever after so far at least.
Child #1: I don’t get it. What does it mean?
Penelope: Well, you tell me what you think it means.
Child #2: Rich people stink!
Child #3: It’s always the mothers fault.
Child #4: It’s not the power of the curse – it’s the power you give the curse.

93.David Seville: Chipmunks can’t talk either.
Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.
David Seville: This is not happening. I’m not talking to chipmunks, I’m not talking to chipmunks.
Alvin: So, how’s that going for you, Dave?
David Seville: Uhh – uhh, how’d you know my name?
Alvin: Oh, that one? We read your mail by accident.
Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. Ever heard of a credit rating?
Theodore: [turns on the food processor] What’s this thing?
David Seville: Hey, hey… hey, hey, turn that off!
Alvin: [turns off the food processor] Sorry.
Simon: [rubs Theodore’s head] He fell out of the tree at birth.
David Seville: C-Can all animals talk?
Simon: Well, fish do have this type of sign language.
Alvin: Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smell like sweatsocks?
Alvin: [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser] Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs…
Simon: We’re getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello, I’m Simon, the smart one. He’s Alvin…
Alvin: The awesomest one…
Theodore: And I’m Theodore.
David Seville: Oh, that’s nice to meet you. Now get out of my house.
Theodore: But… we talk.
David Seville: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It’s creepy, unnatural, somewhat evil.
Alvin: I kind of liked him better when he was unconscious.
David Seville: [places a mixing bowl over the chipmunks] Gotcha!
Alvin: Hey!
David Seville: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

94.David Seville: [picks up a stack of toster waffles from the under the kitchen rug]
Simon: We put a few toaster waffles aside for winter
Alvin: And we’re not sharing!
David Seville: Guys, we’re gonna have food all winter so if you start storing it, it’s gonna get gross and we’re gonna have rodent -...
Simon, Theodore, Alvin: [looks at Dave]
David Seville: Bad you know… non-talking rodents around here

95.Alvin: [singing] Don’t cha… Yeah, yeah, come on, come on… Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me / Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me…
[Dave opens the dishwasher door and Alvin screams]
Alvin: There’s this new thing, it’s called knocking!
David Seville: Get out!
Alvin: I’m waiting for the rain cycle.
David Seville: [pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher] Out!
Alvin: Hey, I’m taking a shower here!
David Seville: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what? Today would be at the top of the list.
Alvin: And it’s still early.
David Seville: Clam it, sudsy!
[Simon and Theodore join Alvin on the counter]
David Seville: Look, let me just put it to you like this, OK? I have no job, no career, my house is always a mess, thank you very much…

96.David Seville: Alright, here’s the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.
Alvin: [thinks about it] No. Wait! Is breakfast included?
David Seville: [thinks about it] I can live with that.
Simon: What about TV privileges?
David Seville: [thinks about it] Okay, but not after seven.
Theodore: Eight.
David Seville: Done. Don’t tell you’re animal friends, cause I don’t wanna come home and find a bunch of rabbits and skunks on my couch.
Simon: Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.
Theodore: Yeah, you’re our only friend.
David Seville: No, no, no, no, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Let’s just start with me being your songwriter.
Alvin: Um, let me ask you, have you ever written a song before?
David Seville: Yup.
Alvin: And… is that your music stuff outside?
David Seville: Yup.
[thunder claps reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain]
David Seville: Oh no!
Alvin: Hurry back.

91.Grant Taylor: I want God to bless this team so much people will talk about what He did. But it means we gotta give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I’m askin’ you… What are you living for? I resolve to give God everything I’ve got, then I’ll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you’ll join me.

92.J.T. Hawkins Jr.: By the way, some man called lookin’ for you today.
Grant Taylor: Who?
J.T. Hawkins Jr.: Stan Schultz.
Grant Taylor: Stan Schultz?
J.T. Hawkins Jr.: Yeah.
Brady Owens: Stan Schultz – isn’t that a cartoonist?
Grant Taylor: That’s Charles Schultz.
J.T. Hawkins Jr.: No, I thought Charles Schultz was that man that flew across the ocean in “The Spirit of St. Andrews.”
Grant Taylor: That’s Charles Lindbergh, and it’s “The Spirit of St. Louis.”
Brady Owens: Naw, Lindbergh is a cheese!
Grant Taylor: Limburger’s the cheese. Lindbergh’s the man.
J.T. Hawkins Jr.: No, Lindbergh was that blimp that blew up and killed all them people.
Grant Taylor: That’s the Hindenburg.
Brady Owens: Nah, Hindenburg’s where you go skiing in Tennessee.
Grant Taylor: That’s Gatlinburg!
J.T. Hawkins Jr.: Gatlinburg? You mean like the country music group, the Gatlinburg Brothers?
Grant Taylor: [throws ball] Crazy.

88.Grandpa: Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?
Sam Emerson: How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
Michael Emerson: You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
Grandpa: I’m going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
Michael Emerson: What’d ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?

89.Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.
Alan Frog: He’s a vampire all right.
Edgar Frog: All right, here’s what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
Sam Emerson: I can’t do that; he’s my brother.
Alan Frog: OK, we’ll come over and do it for you.
Sam Emerson: No!
Edgar Frog: You’d better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it’s your funeral.

90.Edgar Frog: Are you OK?
Sam Emerson: I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.
Alan Frog: All right, Sambo!
Edgar Frog: We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.
Alan Frog: Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!
Edgar Frog: Well, Nanook helped a little.
Alan Frog: Death to all vampires!
Edgar Frog: Maximum body count!
Edgar Frog: We’re awesome monster bashers!
Alan Frog: The meanest!
Edgar Frog: The baddest!

83.Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you’re very…
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!... Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh… uh… beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.

84.[as a female tour guide]
Genie: Thank you for choosing “Magic Carpet” for all your travel needs. Don’t stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye. Goodbye, thank you. Goodbye.
[back to normal]
Genie: Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes…
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? “Three?” You are down by one, boy!
Aladdin: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave. Heh. You did that on your own.
[the Genie’s mouth drops]
Genie: Oh. Well I feel sheepish.
[turns into a sheep]
Genie: All right, you baaaaaad boy. But no more freebies.

85.[the Genie and the flying carpet are playing chess]
Genie: So, move.
[the carpet makes a move]
Genie: Hey! That’s a good move.
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Genie: I can’t believe it. I’m losin’ to a rug.

86.Genie: I’m telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What’s your name?
Aladdin: Uh… A-A-Aladdin.
Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or, how ‘bout Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman]
Genie: It sounds like, “Here, boy!”
[whistles]
Genie: C’mon, Laddie!
[turns into a dog]
Aladdin: I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought.

87.Genie: So what’ll it be, master?
Aladdin: You’re gonna grant me any 3 wishes I want, right?
Genie: [imitating William F. Buckley] Uh, ah, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos. Ah, a couple of quid pro quo.
Aladdin: Like?
Genie: [normally] Uh, rule #1, I can’t kill anybody.
[cuts his head off]
Genie: So don’t ask. A-rule #2!
[fixes his head]
Genie: I can’t make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
[smooches Aladdin]
Genie: You little punim there. RULE #3!
[turns into a slimy Genie, and imitating Peter Lorre]
Genie: I can’t bring people back from the dead. It’s not a pretty picture. I DON’T LIKE DOING IT!
[he returns to normal]
Genie: Other than that, you got it!

79.Rusty Duritz: So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser

80.Rusty Duritz: When do I learn how to drive?
Russ Duritz: When you’re sixteen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I get a car?
Russ Duritz: When you’re eighteen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I get a hickey?
Russ Duritz: [smile] When you’re seventeen.
Rusty Duritz: When do I find out what a hickey is?
Russ Duritz: Not tonight.

81.Russ Duritz: Toshiya, let me ask you something. If you get called a jerk four times in a single day, does that make it true?
Amy: What, only four? Did you get up late?
Russ Duritz: Excuse me, I’m asking Toshiya.
Toshia: Four times is a pattern. It have to be five times to be a fact.
Russ Duritz: Thank you. See? There’s hope after all.
Amy: Jerk.

82.[Russ has been talking to Janet on his headset all the way into the building; now he gets off the elevator and walks up to her desk, still talking into his headset]
Janet: Take your phone off now, you’re with a human being.

76.Tim Avery: Who are you?
Loki: I’m Loki, God of Mischief.
Tim Avery: And I’m Tim, God of Crazy-Baby-Land. Can you move please?
Loki: Your son was born of the mask, my mask. Where is it?
Tim Avery: Born of the… Oh! So, that’s why he can pee like that.

77.Odin: As expected, you’ve failed at your promise. You’ve failed at your quest. You are, in ever sense of the word, a failure.
Tim Avery: [to Tanya] Wow, and I thought your dad was mean.
Loki: Hey, we both knew it was gonna end this way, right? You practically set me up for failure, so at least I’m living up to your expectation in that regard.
Odin: Silence!

78.Odin: [surprised] You did the conjuring ceremony, by yourself?
Loki: Hey, I pay attention… sometimes.

73.Roland Sharp: I gave up alcohol about ten years ago.
Molly McCarthy: Didn’t like yourself when you were drinking, huh?
Roland Sharp: Hell, I loved myself when I was drinking. It was the other people that had the problem!

74.Roland Sharp: [to the pizza guy through the window] Set the pizza on the porch, take two steps back, put your hands behind your head!
Pizza Delivery Guy: [Sharp comes outside, begins to frisk the pizza guy] Uhh… what’s the problem dude?
Roland Sharp: If that pizza’s warm, there won’t be a problem.
[pays the guy]
Pizza Delivery Guy: [notices the girls inside] Dude, do you live here with all these girls?
Roland Sharp: Temporarily.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Dude, you’re my new hero.
Roland Sharp: Imagine what that means to me.
[shuts the door]

75.Teresa: [Sharp has a pizza delivered at dinner, while the girls all have homemade salads] What is that?
Roland Sharp: The Carnivore. Pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham and olive loaf all gathered together in one savory pie. With jalepenos. Want some?
Heather: Yes. No!
Roland Sharp: Extra thick crust.
Anne: I can’t, I’m on the zone.
Roland Sharp: What zone?
Anne: The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
Roland Sharp: This combination here is proper as hell.
Barb: I’m a total Atkins girl.
Evie: I’m on Weight Watchers, you’ll probably blow all your daily points with just one bite.
Roland Sharp: This baby has one point and one point only, and that is tasting good.