I had another lesson yesterday. It was the first since Lesson 13.
I did okay, I guess. It was really rainy and wet and I generally felt uncomfortable. My reverse parking didn’t go too well, though I did do two pretty good U-Turns.
I felt so uncomfortable when we practiced reverse parking in a parking lot, mainly because I was failing miserably and some guy was standing beside his truck, smoking and STARING like there was no tomorrow. It was so bad I wanted to roll down my window and yell, “STOP STARING AT ME!”
It just seems that the past week has been a baffling retort to any self-esteem I may have been gaining. A week full of people pointing out my errors as if I cannot hear. A week full of my own self-conscious screaming and crying and failing to understand, worrying if I’m doing anything at all correctly.
Everything is so new and strange. I don’t know how I feel about it anymore. I think I mostly feel numb. Part of me, the evidently smarter half, is so overjoyed to have accomplished the biggest goals on my list, while the other half is screaming and latching onto whatever tangible object it can in effort to stop from being pulled into this bizarre new world.
Just one more week of training. I can do this. Just a little bit less than a month before my drive test. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
This is what you’ve hoped for, dreamed for, slaved for. Stop fighting it.
Breathe. 3 years ago