live impassioned and without regret.

i haven’t regretted anything since creating this goal and will continue to learn instead of regret..

I don’t think it’s possible to live impassioned and be without regret. To me, living impassioned is to live with your heart. If you are doing that, there will be things in life that you will either regret doing or not doing. Either is fine, as long as you are ok with how you are living and are at peace about it. Everyone has things they regret, the trick is to not focus on the regrets or let them get important. We must learn from them, and use those experiences to help us live more fully and impassioned.

I Learned How to Smile (and mean it)

by Trisha De Gracia

By losing and loving
living, forgiving
accepting
regretting
re-facing and retracing.

By holding on
and letting go
and picking up again.

By scribbling myself down on paper.
By finding joy in the dark
(with my eyes closed).
By dancing without music.
By learning how to listen.

I mailed a letter out yesterday to one of my friends that I haven’t seen in about 7 months… wow, has it really been that long? That’s insane. So, hopefully he writes back or calls me soon. Even if he doesn’t, I’m glad I made the effort (even if it took me a while).
On another note, I’m learning to play “Hard Day’s Night” by the Beatles on the keyboard… ok, so I really suck, but I’ve got a small (read:13 seconds) part down, it’s just a matter of fine-tuning that and learning the rest… I don’t think I’ll actually learn the rest. I just want to learn the rest of the chorus, and I’ll be happy.

I found my baby blanket! OK, so I know this seems silly and mundane, but really, what is life without the silly, happy, everyday things? Gotta take some more time out to enjoy them!

also includes staying in touch with myself. How do I get so carried away in everyday life that I can lose sight of who I am and what’s important to me? I need to not. I need to spend some quality time with myself, not keeping busy, but focusing on what’s really important to me.

I’m posting this on several different goals, because it fits so it’s going there. I’m going to go on an internet fast, starting tomorrow. I spend way too much time on here, and if I spent even half as much time working on something important or getting closer to God, it would be well worth it. I also think it will do me good to get back in the world instead of talking to people online all the time. After a meeting in church tonight, I’ll update my blog and then not get on for a week or so. It will be interesting to see what it is that I do with my time. Last night I went to bed early instead of spending time online and I got up BEFORE dawn and exercised! I feel really good today! I’m going to spend most of my time in my Bible, reading (other than that), and exercising. This will add up to a much better me. I’m excited. I know it’ll be hard though, so I’m going to ask for your prayers and support, because I am definitely an internet junkie. I figure, if my youth pastor (who had Mountain Dew flowing through his veins) can give up caffeine, I can give up spending so much time on the internet.

I gave out a bunch of Christmas cookies and wrote a bunch of cards, and that helped reconnect with old friends, or at least let me say what I needed to in the cards. I felt a lot better after doing it and sending things in the mail to go to some of the people.

Now, what I need to do to accomplish this goal is to do that which I care about, or spend time with those important to me, so I’m going to make a list of things that are important to me that I need to spend more time on or with, and I’ll work on going from there.
My future
my God
my Zach
mom
Wil
stepdad
sister
Vinnie (need to call him and get back in touch)
Harris
myself
the little kids I babysit
learning
reading
cross-stitching

(that’s not one of my seperate goals)
~tell him how I feel
~say what I feel and not what’s expected
~stop doing what’s expected of me and do what I want with my life (without being reckless)
~apologize and not dwell on what I could have done differently
~forgive and forget
~write again

that’s enough of a challenge for now

Was at youth group tonight and some of us have been having some tough things going on around us. We spent about an hour afterwards just crying and loving on each other and praying. Definitely one of the better things to have happened to me and I feel refreshed. Not entirely sure how it matches up with this goal, but I know it’s in there somewhere if I were to think about it very much.