stop picking at my scabs

in a long time that I have NOT picked…wow, I can’t even remember going a whole day before…yay me!!!

from way back…
I can’t stop. I’ve tried so many times. I have cut back on my arms so everyone thinks I’ve stoped, but there’s still some on my stomach and chest…sometimes if I don’t have scabs I pick anyway until one forms…I’m almost 24, I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m embarassed that if he saw me naked, he would hate me cuz my scars are so ugly and awful looking.

i’ve decided it’s more fun to pick them !!!

yuk! i had a couple of shaving cuts and a couple of mozzie bites last month. they would all have gone by now if i hadn’t been picking at them all the time – they look so horrible but i can’t leave them alone. i wouln’t care too much except it’s suddenly got really warm and now i feel embarrased to get my legs out. they worst thing is how much i enjoy messing with them!

i keep getting this spot on my nose and i keep picking it. i now have this huge manky scab on my nose. i tell my self to stop but i can’t. its like i’m addicted to it.

this is painstaking, i havent done this today!!!!! i have to keep telling myself stop it! im even going to cut my nails off i think. then paint them. that way ill be able to keep my goal in mind. man. what the fuck. i do not understand why this is soo hard, iwanna wear a bathing suit!!!! its summer time and even though im chubby im so not afraid to show it, but this stuff on my legs is just horrifying,im also gaining weight. i think im stressed out or something to be going through all this. unreal. hopefully ill make it through the evening. somebody tell me good luck dammit!!xoxo itchkitty

i used to pick my scabs as a little girl. when i came home from school(kindergarden) i remember my dad stripping me down and making me look at myself in the mirror on one particular occasin,just to see how “ugly” i looked with my bug bites and scrapes from being an active child. he then graduated to hitting me several times per scab that had been picked. at this point you all know my father was abusive.by the time i was 8 my mother and i had left him. i continued all through elementary school and a little bit of middle doing this horrible picking epidemic.i dont know when i actually stopped but i had for a long while. about 2 years ago i caught myself slipping back to this behavior. im not sure what caused it but i cant seem to stop. my legs look horrible. i want to go swimming at the pool or the beach but im very weary of my nasty looking scabs. i dive and im embarrassed to even go anymore because of this.its preventing me from looking and feeling the way i want too. how the hell do i stop? what caused me to go back to my deeply rooted issues as a child. i sometimes actually enjoy picking them off, i look forward to ripping that one that i hadn’t touched all day. its sick. i yell at myself and look in the mirror and cringe. after i yank the last one off i say what the hell girl, do you ever wanna go out in a sun dress or a bathing suit again? someone please tell me what i can do. this is the last straw. hypnosis maybe? do i need to see a psychologist? am i that sick?

I know it’s gross, but I just can’t stop it. Especially now that I”m trying to stop biting my nails.