let him go

First thing’s first, him and I were never a couple. We were best friends all through high school and in my senior year I slowly started getting feelings for him. I decided that I should just be honest with him, so when we got together one day I told him how I felt. To my surprise he felt the exact same way! Of course I was happy…but then he said something I never ever imagined he would say…he was joining the military after high school and didn’t want to have someone committed to him because of how hard it would make things.

I never fully lost feelings for him and now he’s leaving for Afghanistan in November. Although I love my current boyfriend and I’m 110% committed to him, I always wonder what could have been with Mike. I really just want to work through my feelings and get over them. It’s never going to happen with Mike and I love my boyfriend more than anything.

Well I’m teaching in a foreign country I’m vulnerable and feel lonely. I met a seemingly wonderful guy I loved him so much I wanted to marry him . Maybe that was my deluded fantasy but I really adored him. He was so doting,and adoring too. But then I started to feel a lump in my throat when he’d get a phone call, or receive a text or say he had to go somewhere. I went on a 2 week vacation and when I returned it seemed like our whole world had changed. I suspected his unfaithfulness so much. We didn’t talk for a week and then he came by my home one night, we’re neighbors. We had a talk he told me nothing happened and I believed him. We got back together and things were going well but I still had that don’t trust him instinct. He took me on a weekend getaway but then something happened where my distrust felt valid again. We broke up after a 3 hour car ride home in silence. We talked and I decided I can’t live this lie. It hurts, I’m alone now in a foreign land but it’s better than sleeping in the same bed with someone who you know is lying and sneaking around. I thought I’d feel more sad, but there’s relief too. I did love him and still do but not in the way where I can be with him. I told him I didn’t hate him and that I wished him love and happiness. It felt better to walk away not in anger,but wishing the best for someone. I don’t think he’ll try to contact me anymore, maybe I’d give in again, but I’m trying to be strong. Our goodbye felt so final.

This isn’t like everybody else’s entries, this is really made for partners right?
Mines my old best friend, the man i fell in love with those seven years ago, we left school and went our seperate ways and i’ve missed him everyday since, We’ve both seen some very dark times lately but it seems to have pushed us even further apart, i still have him on my contacts but don’t want to say hi in case it ruins his day.
What hurts the most is when my friends are talking to him, i ask how he is and they say ‘okish’ so there’s something wrong, i want to help, to be there for him but i know i can’t, we;ve lost our friendship and it hurts inside!
It’s a weird experience to feel the burning in your chest, yearning to talk to him but unable to write the words. I just miss him so much, whenever i see his name or someone mentions him my stomach tightens, I just want him to be happy but i can’t keep dwelling like this, it’s ruining my good mood, he’s always in my head.
I’ve never told him how i feel mainly because its an odd love, i love him so much, i used to love him to the extent that i would die for him.
He doesn’t feel the same way and i have to let him go. But it’s so hard when we never truly ended it.
I just don’t know what to do, neither of us has done wrong. My emotions are just too strong.

And I am not going well with this at all. The split was pretty amicable it has to be said, but we can’t remain friends because I love him so much and it is killing me. So I said no contact at all, yet we speak every day because, so far, I’m not strong enough to walk away for good

We were perfect for each other, we had everything in common, we got along fine. Then one day he broke up with me and dated a different girl the next day..that’s when it changed. We got back together but it wasn’t the same anymore..now he treats me like #$%^ and I can only deal with it for so long. I made a move and cut off all contacts with him, told him never to talk to me, etc. (long story, he did some things that upset me) tonight is day 1 of no contact and I’m, not doing a good job, I thought I was okay but I’m not.. I miss him, I want him,. but I need to let him go.

I need to let it go…..

We have been 2 years… I think he still loves her…

He never made us ‘official’- i feel alive around him…
WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH????

I was with him for 13 years. We were married for 8 and have a beautiful son together. I know in my head that we are not meant to be together but it is so hard for my heart to feel the same. He is my best friend and holds my past in the palm of his hand. The divorce will be signed by the judge this week and I will be divorced…the word makes me sick to my stomach. It took us 4 years to actually get the divorce…should I have gotten it? Was it the right thing to do? Did we do everything we could to try and fix our marriage? Maybe we gave up without a big enough fight. I am so sad and so unsure of where my life will be without him. This has to get easier because I don’t think I could handle anymore pain. I think the saddest part is all I wanted to hear him say was “I miss you and need you in my life” and in 4 years of being seperated he never said it….

I must remember that he only brought me unhappiness. He made my life incredibly difficult. I need to remember the truth. This is it. I will no longer search for him. Each thought of him will be let go. I let him go and wish him joy for my own joy.

when i met him, he told me he had a gf but it didnt matter because i was also involved but we connected so well..we became friends immeadiately thought there was always an attraction. my boyfriend and i finally broke up and it made it easier for us to transition into something physical. this took around 4 months and he still had a gf. i became his other gf and this carried on for a year and a couple of months until i finally had enough. i still loved him and it was the hardest thing for me to do but i stopped all contact with him. i was able to do this for a couple of months but then we bumped into each other again and we started rebuilding our relationship but we’re just friends…i lie..i love him still but i know nothing can ever come out of it. i know the only way i will ever move on is if i leave him alone completely but i just cant..help me.

We are friends.I love him as a friend, and I dont know what HE feels…
I want him to love me as his friend.
its soo hard..
rrr…