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be a better parent

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Recent activity

Daffer_KentBirthdays

My daughter’s birthday in less than a month. Which means, as an organised parent, I should really have the birthday party or celebrations all organised.

I am so busy with work at the moment. I’m not sleeping…..birthday feels like another pressure, when I should be excited about it. Okay mum, don’t give in to guilt, just Do it, and get organised. 1 week ago


Daffer_KentChecked out a book on raising Confident Children

I love self-help, and I guess they are Help books.

I love reading fiction, but last night I spent 5 minutes in the Psychology and Self-help section and came across the parenting book.

All good input, even if I take one idea or strategy, I think it’s worth a read.

Our house seems calmer and more focused lately, plus a few more laughs. I love it when my kids laugh, awesome feeling when we all get on so well. 1 week ago


vanju 2 weeks ago


Daffer_KentFirst day back at school

Eldest had a meltdown, over socks, but I stayed fairly calm. 4 weeks ago


Daffer_KentTook the kids swimming today

I’m not really that found of swimming pools, I don’t like the chlorine. And with a 4 year old and a 7 year old, I can’t swim lengths and get some proper exercise. But my DH needed to do some study, so we got out of his hair for a few hours. My children enjoyed the pool. 1 month ago


Daffer_KentBirthday cake is out of the oven

I was chillin’ in the lounge with DH, a glass of wine, and some cheese, and suddenly smell the cake, and run to the kitchen.

My nose told me the cake is ready to come out of the oven. Phew! Nice save.

Apparently day (or two) old cake is easier to ice, the cake doesn’t crumb as much. My son wants a green cake, which is apt for St Patrick’s Day. 2 months ago


Daffer_KentBooked in for haircuts

For myself and my daughter. We both are overdue a haircut! 2 months ago


Daffer_KentBeen observing stricter parents in action, in a good way

Parents that tell their kids they’ve hit the boundaries and act on it.

I finally talked with this dad today in the library. His kid and mine were getting a bit raucous. He was strict in a good way. I thought he was an excellent parent.

Laissez-faire parenting, might require some tightening up around here.

I’m pretty relaxed….UNTIL I’M NOT…...so I think a little less relaxed generally and a bit more, this is the way things will be around here would be good.

Today, we were late to school again. We’re not late the rest of the week, it’s me, I’m not making the kids listen enough.

I’m still thinking on this one…..but I’d like better behaviour and grooming. 2 months ago


Daffer_KentI got four Mother's Day cards

One from school, one from Nursery, one from the childminder’s and one is from the card stash.

Mother’s Day is celebrated in May in the Netherlands and New Zealand, so to send a card there, I need to buy them when they sell them here. Plus it is designed as a back-up for my husband if he forgets.

I got a lovely bookmark with a drawing by my son and a cheque book of promises from my Brownie. 2 months ago


Daffer_KentFinished addressing birthday party invites

for youngest child’s party.

I’m not gifted at organising parties, have to make myself throw a party. He deserves an awesomely great party. He might have to settle for a party with some good friends.

He’s an easygoing kid, I’m sure he’ll love it.

Thank goodness, DH helped by booking venue and designing the invites. 2 months ago


Daffer_KentFeel like I failed yesterday

I lost my temper with my daughter.

She really pushed my buttons. She talks to me like a teenager, so rude, no respect. 2 months ago


forwritenow 3 months ago


Daffer_KentImmunisations

Just read someone else’s entry re immunisations, and it jogged my memory. My son has one last set of shots before school. Maybe now would be a good time to take him in.

Is it just me or are they so many things to do….to be a good parent, I feel like there’s the stuff which is no fun at all, and should be done, and in 20 years time, my kids will thank me.

And there’s the stuff that they won’t thank me for in 20 years time, like not ensuring they brush their teeth every night.

And all the stuff in between…...ideas, habits, mindsets, ways of relating to people, resourcefulness, stamina, dogged perseverance… 3 months ago


Daffer_KentRead four times already

Trying to get a routine going. Getting into a routine feels like hard work, soon it will be easier, and hopefully results will follow.

Also sneakily asked was there a reason that the school reading software couldn’t be accessed after school? Yes, it can, someone was misinformed. 3 months ago


Contemplative JennDamage

He told them we were getting a divorce, without me around to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t that I wasn’t prepared to take action, it’s that I wasn’t there to protect them from the pain that comes from being betrayed by one parent, or another.

I wasn’t there the moment my 13 year old newly diagnosed Aspergian’s intricately structured world came crashing down on him. He called me to confirm the tragedy. My son was angry, frantic. His Dad told him I would not deny the news, although I know he wanted me to tell them that no, Dad had it wrong, that I’m not going to do this, that of course our thorny, aching little family would remain a seething unit that looks serene, even happy, from the outside. He was looking to hurt me, not them, or perhaps the pain inside him was just too much to hold in any longer. He handed the kids money like it was a sweepstakes they’d just won, wrote my son a check, tore up bills and let them flutter like snowflakes. Why? I don’t know, perhaps he thought he wouldn’t need it wherever he was going. I’m worried about him. I’m worried about them,the way my son looked lost, the way my daughter cocooned herself in my winter jacket and fell asleep, slept that night into the next morning, next day. But then, I’ve been worried about them all along, have come to see the damage clearly, in the spaces between bites of dinner, the smog of frustration that hangs around their heads, the hurt they carry on their backs as hard turtle shells, as they move slowly into the day.

My daughter says it’s about time we split up, that all we do is fight, that it’s been years now, that the “Girls Only Condo” a fantasy space I’d created for her, for us, when times were toughest, the one we’d shop for in catalogs, and decorate in our minds, might be coming closer to her reality.

We’d bring her brother with us, of course, and the dishes and drapes would be real. “Pack lightly,” I’d say. “It’s a small space, no room for pain, or excess baggage.” I’d stand at the threshold and unlock the door, let it swing open and bid them come inside. The light would be everywhere, natural, streaming through the windows, the air vanilla and sage. It wouldn’t be much, but it would be home. Safe. home. 3 months ago


Daffer_KentDetermined to read four times a week

Really need to read with my daughter, at least 4 times a week, to help her improve.

To get her motivated I am afraid that I have decided to incentivise her, she gets a small bonus if she reads 4 times a week for the whole 5 weeks of the term. Let’s see if it works, in week 2 she’s still keen as mustard. 3 months ago


timothy woodhead Its hard work

Takes constant vigilance lol. Yeah my daughters a harry potter fan. 4 months ago


Daffer_KentTrying to stay calm and laugh it off

Sometimes it is a fine line between laughing and getting cross with the kids. The more I can laugh at their antics the easier it is. Until I became a parent, I think I’d glossed over just how much work kids are. They want your attention ALL the time. And you’re in charge, of everything, from breakfast to teethbrushing to what they’re wearing, manners, the lot….exhausting.

But then kids think you are AWESOME. So flattering, some days I am, some days I’m not sure I deserve all the praise.

Often I crave an hour or so to myself, away from work, away from my husband and away from the kids. Some moments to think. Pretend I’m not responsible and tied down, remember I chose this….

It’s all good, I feel better about my parenting this year.Not perfect, but more of an effort and it feels easier 4 months ago


autumnthing 5 months ago


Coanth 4 years ago


CoanthUntitled

I think i’ve done this. My goal wasn’t be be the best mom there is just a better one than what i was being. We do a lot more now since she’s been going to school and i get to do my own thing every now and then. 5 months ago


ishiyah 6 months ago


Traciy 10 months ago


smballo 10 months ago


timothy woodheadUntitled

My daughter is 13 and shouts and screams at everything.Have to remeber to keep calm and not retaliate as that helps no one. 10 months ago


Catadunni 11 months ago


CoanthUntitled

I’ve been wanting to do more with my daughter since i’ve been doing more for myself. If nothing you do is ever fun and meaningful you’ll never want to do anything and will just shut down completely. A lot of mothers seem to have this issue. I wish some fathers could play more of a role in their children’s lives, it’s a shame. Oh well, thanks to services in the community there can be help at least. 11 months ago


Fozzy710 14 months ago


johnsteTrust as they get older

When he was in high school, I trusted but verified.
When he was in college, I let him join a frat, though I was concerned about drinking, etc. It became a real brotherhood for him.
When he was in grad school, I accepted his choice of girlfriend. 14 months ago


johnste 7 years ago


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