have more love

Jesus wants us to have more love all the time, and would send any sign or way to help us get there, the decisions we make on a daily basis affect exactly how we recieve it and how we deal with it. We sometimes turn it into anger when a loved one wants to heal us, othre times we break down and become sad because we missed the real picture, but once in a while we just embrace his wisdom and all that he has to offer and hope that we can show others the grace in it.

.. to settle a bit. There’s still a burning need to fuck around, but I decided that maybe I should hold on to the next girl that seems stable and nice. After dating a nympho/psycho asian girl (she was so hot it scalded me to touch her), I reassessed my dating life a bit and decided to ask a previous girlfriend to begin dating again. I love her still. Well.. that blew up in my face.

Anyway, there was some drama that ensued over the past three months that included her not being able to give me what I want, then me not giving in to her after I found someone else. It was confusing, but we worked it out and are now buddies again.

Meanwhile, I am dating someone new that seems fairly emotionally stable. We were immediately highly attracted to one another when we met, and even though cooling down, that feeling continues yet a month later.

Love is a mysterious thing. The kind of love I suppose I’m talking about is that deep satisfaction one has with simple things. Joy, not just with one person, like romantic love, but the kind of love one feels after doing a deep meditation, when your body feels heavy and the mind is quiet. Then all the things around become more clear and I feel alive. But usually I’m rushing around and my mind is busy. So I would like to have more of this kind of love in my life.

coming here to Virginia did bring more love into my life, even if I’m uncertain of my future with that love.

I am grateful I have been able to show, and create love here.