last night, my bf and i were laughing ourselves out because of our wishful thinking of winning the lottery. It was more of him laughing at me for even thinking I could win it.
It’s just that yesterday got me really thinking and suddenly I realized I’m never going to be really rich in this lifetime… unless of course I sell my soul to the devil, suddenly inherit a fortune from the ‘real parents’ i never knew or I win the lotto. Of the three, of course the last one seems more likely and more appealing.
To think that I have only been working for four years I’m going to be working for the next 40 years. Wow. I’m going to waste my youth and my life to a life of servitude to the company’s stock holders. wow. working for the next 40 years of my life. That is so exciting I just want to die now.
It’s not that I don’t love my work. Well, yeah I don’t love it. It just gives me a sense challenge working in a really intense environment and it pays good too. But i know it’s not what I want to do for the next 40 years of my life.
Tonight’s the draw and although I had been trying to ‘think positive’, i know at the back of my mind that it’s like a one in a gazillon chance. i still bought 5 tickets though!
May 28, 06:13AM PDT | 0 comments
This week’s episode of How I Met Your Mother really made me think.
I have been planning for a couple of weeks now. I’ve been setting the major goals I want to achieve in my life for the next five years and setting up even a savings plan for the next two years. And it just occurred to me today that maybe I’m overthinking things. But now, I don’t know. I just felt tired of planning. Maybe HIMYM is right. I mean, right now, I’m not even sure of my goals. Are those I set what I really want? Honestly, I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe planning made me realize I just dont want the future to happen. Or maybe I’m just being too obsessed with planning that I’m forgetting a have a life here now. I really don’t know. Maybe I’m living like Ted (character from HIMYM). I have this picture, this plan in my head and I’m trying too hard to achieve it but maybe the world or maybe God has other plans for me. I mean, right now, I’m thinking that even if I plan and achieve my goals for the next ten years, it just sounds plain boring. It’s like I’m playing some sort of simulation game where I set everything now and fast forward to tomorrow and all my goals are achieved. Do I really want this? Maybe I just need to live my life more. I just need to step back and take a deep breath.
May 20, 04:39AM PDT | 0 comments
