get over my fear of intimacy

So there’s this guy and we started dating…Finally!
I really like him and gave him the impression that I’m not a virgin and he expects me to sleep with him….We haven’t talked about any of it i just know from the things he is saying. I’ve gone pretty far, but not all the way and I’m honestly afraid that he won’t accept me for what i look like…I have a good body (not bragging) I’m just self-conscious about my body…..I would really like to lose my virginity to him but I’m a little afraid..!

hi everyone, I just realised my fear of intimacy through a very painful experience. It began when my boyfriend of 3 months dumped me over a quarrel that I had started about an old issue that had been previously discussed. Needless to say I was stunned!me? dumped?(on retrospect, I wasnt really…deep down, i didnt really expect it to last so when it started looking like it would, i got scared)
This was the 7th or 8th relationship that had broken up after only a few months. I realised that something was very wrong….Right after we split, I went on holiday for two weeks and did some soul searching, I prayed real hard, wrote down my feelings and searched for articles and then reality hit me like a stone! I had started feeling uneasy and weird the day he looked deep into my eyes and told me that he was falling in love with me.Did he even know who I was? did I know who I was? I think I subconsciously went into panick mode. I wanted him to dump me so I would not have to worry about opening myself to him the way he had to me. And people, this guy was great, he loved shopping with me, cooked for me, played an instrument, we had the same faith and loved the same things. But bam I went beserk and began to accuse him about issues and things that he insisted were not there or were of a trivial nature…I was so confused after the argument….what was wrong?
Since then, I have cried to God and he has opened my eyes to my issues. So….here I am, beginning my journey to finding who I am and what I want to be and accepting myself. I realised the biggest fear I hold is letting someone see me for who I am and rejecting me for it, I’d rather pretend and be accepted. It was terrifying to me. I even realised that I would do things subconsciously to jeopardise close relationships and then wonder why I could not keep a friend… My friendships were superficial and so when they got too close, i ran the risk of being exposed for who i really was and i would rarely let that happen. So I became everything to everyone… and when they got to close i would weed them out. (sad, i know)
I would subconsciously lose touch with people or get too close to their boyfriends so they stop speaking to me…it was pathetic. Thank God he has opened my eyes.. here goes my journey, I am scared but I know i will get there!

Love and Peace

i can’t find out why i won’t let people (men)get close to me. the opportunity presents its self all the time and i can’t do it. i don’t like being touched, except by one man. its weird, i don’t get it and it prolly wouldn’t be so much of a problem if that man wanted me too. i don’t know how to fix this…

I have gotten better with my fear of intimacy because of my relationship with God. Also because of my relationship with my girlfriends and guyfriends in Evs(traveling choir i’m in that represents my school). I have had deep intimate conversations with most of them…they are like my family. I can also see change in my ability to be intimate physically. A few years ago a guy friends of mine put his arm around me and i leaned my head on his shoulder and it was so awkward. I wanted him to stop touching me…i could not cuddle. Today with my guyfriends in EVS I can hug them, cuddle, and kiss (on the cheek) with no problem at all. I kind of feel like I will never know if i am over this until I get a boyfriend….which i have never had..(unless boyfriends when you were ten years old count :-p )

...found a good girl, got over it :)

Jane Austen once said: “It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”

I think she had something even though she lived 200 years ago. Intimacy is being vulnerable, it is being open and unselfish with our selves, it being courageous in that we share oursleves no matter the result.

I still worry about this but was lucky enough that I finally made the choice to extend myself. No matter how I felt, or what the result I pushed my own personal limits… trying to find that balance. Not everyone wants to be intimate right? Not everyone recognizes how hard it is for us, or how we areletting them into that special club we share our thoughts and feelings with…. still if you try it will happen.

It takes practice and a willingness to work and does not rely on meeting that one right person. Instead it requires us to take that step regardless of who hears.

Practice on your friends, practice on your family… share your life and your thoughts. Practice on your dog if it helps. I actually did that. :-)

Just take a step… eventually you get there.

I’ve just realised I avoid all situations with the potential for intimacy, automatically. So, now I will overcome this fear and let go of it.

I’m scared of people, of getting to know them, especially if I’m interested in them or think they’re cool. I’m also absolutely terrified of having sex with anyone I care about, or telling anyone what I want in sex.

I should probably get over that if I want to have any kind of fulfilling life.