REBUILD MY LIFE

from having no self esteem, a drug addiction, long term memory loss,being chronically ill, dropping out of university, an abusive father who made me homeless, no friends, being suicidal, i have rebuilt my life by the grace of God.

i found the qur’an by chance and prayed for help. i converted to islam a year later.

two years later, i have my own business (completely down to fate, i didn’t set it up at all and even when i gave up so many times people just kept ringing with work for me), i do not touch drugs or alcohol, i have loving and caring friends, i am not scared of my father any more, i am getting healthier and happier more every day. my first job was with a muslim firm who took me on and cared for me like their own daughter, i moved into a new house and am learning how to manage my life bit by bit. i help to raise money for other people who need it. for the past few days i’ve been waking up feeling kinda positive :) which is a big improvement from wanting to commit suicide every day.

im still lacking in alot of confidence and im scared to let anyone close to me. i can’t think straight all the time and i still feel paranoid from all the drugs i took and my father constantly making me scared. i want to finish my education more than anything and help other people. i want to be healthy! i get mad headaches but im fighting back by learning to relax a bit. iv met a guy and im so scared il ruin things, i keep avoiding him because im too ashamed to tell him about my past and and why im scared to commit. he wants to marry me but knows nothing about whats made this way. all he knows is that im a muslim with a really strong faith. he says that its admirable, but he doesn’t know why. i guess i have to learn to trust. this is going to be my next goal! good luck everyone.x

I worked very hard to get were I was in life. I was on the way to having a sturdy foundation. I had pick myself up from living in the streets to having a great job, nice home, my daughter living full time with me and a nugget in the bank.

Within the last 3 years I have lost all of these aspects in my life. I am down and out, pretty muched kicked to the curb… I can’t seem to get the ball rolling again and I just happen to stumble upon this websight. I was watching a movie that had a joke about the six fingered man so, I looked it up and found this!

With this new way to look deep within myself and find the things that will help to get me back on the saddle again, is a blessing.

No excuses, I’ve let things slip and forgotten what it feels like to laugh and be happy. I need to change this, I need to refind the spark that made me and so many others happy.
How? Step one get myself back running and fit…the benefits are obvious ..feel better, lose weight, look better
my goal is to train 4 times per week. two sessions 1 hour + and two sessions 30 min plus.
step two…follow through on step one

I am 49 years old, just got laid off from a job, had a guy i lived with for 8 years move out on me, sabotaging stuff and ripping me off, and I need to move on, and rebuild my life. the good things: have unemployment for now, going to school online for a master’s degree, have a nice boyfriend, and still have my home for now. Have to get out of debt too though….we will see….

I still need to be an awesome papa bear to my girls, even though they are 21 & almost 19.

If there’s been any sort of silver lining to the heartbreak of divorce, it’s that my girls have been really good. Supportive. Sweet.

I have to clear out lots of clutter that’s accumulated.
Got some things to fix up. Got some projects to start on.

I’m on my own, but I can do it. Just start!

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

thanks for the cheers.

For over two years, I was in denial. While going through the divorce and 15 months of being divorced, I walked around like a slave or a martyr. I never looked at my true feelings. I was in counseling and I never got a slap to the side of my head—WAKE UP!!!

12/20/2007, my ex told me she’s dating, and it’s getting traction. Suddenly, I woke up! I wanted her back, wanted to try again!

That began a month of tears, Desperate, I had become a man of constant sorrow. I tried talking her out of it, but nothing worked. Not even close.

1/18/2008, my ex gently informed me that she was letting me go. and she meant it. heartbreaking!

I really hurt myself by walking around with my heart closed for such a long time. I consider those years lost ones. I gave them up for nothing.

I loved being a husband. It’s a higher calling. It’s very tempting to get right back to that.

But I want to be more disciplined this time. I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life yet.

I know this, there’s no time to waste.

i feel like i don’t have a home, i’ve never felt like this before, and home has always been really important to me

i lived in mty for 3 years, and i moved to my hometown 5 weeks ago. my friends, my favorite places… my life… is back in mty…

i moved because mm ok so i’ll be honest, i thought this was for the best… i thought my hometown would give me the strenght that i needed to change what i wanted to change

now… i’ve lost my best friend, my parents are thinking about getting a divorce, i really miss my best friends (they’re in mty)... i don’t have anyone to go to when i’m down… i don’t really have a life in this city

i have my new beginning… i still feel the loss of all those things left behind, my heart feels.. broken, but i am breathing, i know i’ll keep on moving

uncertain… i would call this if it were a chapter in the book of my life

so, i have a life to build, and for the first time in my life, i get to do it on my own

From where I was a year ago…... I have to say .. Life is good…. no matter what is going on….I have the love of my sons and time on my side.