have a vbac

I went for a VBAC with my second child and everything went well until pushing when the baby’s heartrate began to decellerate with each contraction. I had a cesarean in the end but I had an awesome drug free labor and felt like I had really achieved something with that!

And thanks to a fabulous doctor, wonderful nursing staff and incredibly supportive husband, I am almost afraid to say that I can’t wait to do it again.

I am not pregnant or anything, nor is it the cards of the future, but one can never close the door completely…..not if you aren’t sure…..

I had to have an emergency c-section because my son’s heartrate was dropping dramatically.

But I disappointed that I didn’t get to birth him naturually. I wanted to experience the full labor and delivery experience. I wanted to feel the satisfaction of pushing him out, feeling him come out, etc.

I will have my vbac next time.

After not being able to find a dr willing to perform a VBAC, I had given in and was meant to have my C-section on Oct 4th. Well, I didn’t go through with the surgery and I found a really great birthing center to deliver at!
I was due Oct 13th, last Friday and by Tuesday night I was having irregular contractions, they kept me up at night but just weren’t getting consistent. I was doing everything to try and naturally induce, nipple stimulation, cohosh, EPO, the midwife swept my membranes and I got an enema. Finally on Friday night they were really intense and I was sure it was happening until they slowed down again in the morning. So i took castor oil. I think that’s what did it. It wasn’t even gross, I had it in a shake with ice cream, OJ, and strawberries, and the diarhea was not unpleasant or painful. So even though till then I was really not interested in Castor oil, I would now recommend it.

So, we went to the Birth center Saturday afternoon and I was 4 cm. They told me to get some food and come back.When I did, I was still 4 cm. The midwife suggested breaking my water. Now, the thing is that when I was induced with my first baby, after they broke my water, everything went downhill. I had cord prolapse and then his hand was in the way and I was in surgery. So I was a bit apprehensive, but on the other hand I was exhausted and the idea of not having the baby that night was not appealing. I agreed to have it done.

Then, they noticed that my pulse had gone up quite a bit and were concerned. The midwife asked if I was afraid or worried and I said yes. I said I was afraid that something would go wrong (like last time) and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I lost the baby, etc. So she says, “Then you need to leave now and go to the hospital. You shouldn’t be here if that’s how you feel because your body is not going to let your baby out with you holding on to that fear”. She left and let it soak in. It was exactly what I needed to hear!!! I felt myself transforming. I realized the whole reason I was there was that I truly believed I could do it. I trusted my body and myself and I was committed to having my baby naturally because all of my instincts had led me there. I let go of all the anxiety and worry and went into the tub, which helped alot with relaxing too.

My contractions were getting really strong and I just focused on my breathing and relaxing everything down there. I was repeating the words “YES….OPEN….DOWN” in my head over and over. I had my loving husband behind me and the trainee midwives were around me pouring water on me and encouraging me. The room was dark except a few candles. It was truly perfect. I knew what I was doing and I was completely in the moment for all of it.

An hour and a half later when I got out I was 7 cm!! The contractions were back to back by now and I was even saying I couldn’t do it through some, which I had really not wanted to say. It was so hard to get comfortable during them. I just kept trying different positions and they all sucked. They really wanted me to pee and I couldn’t so they said they would have to use a catheter because a full bladder would make things tougher. I said, “I love catheters!” They looked and my husband and he shrugged and said, “she really does” (after my last pregnancy I was so sick of running to the bathroom every 5 min, that I was really excited not to even have the urge, let alone have to get up to pee when I had my catheter in for the 3 days after my c-sec.)
Well, I finally felt the need to push. The midwife told me I had to pant, but soon after they checked and I was fully dilated! Suddenly the contractions died down. It was quite a relief. Except when they told me I need to push during the contractions and I couldn’t tell when they were! They were just so much less painful than the previous few hours that it was really hard to tell. The midwife said I need to take a deep breath and then hold it while I really strain like I am doing a BM. The whole time pushing, she kept repeating that “From your butt” She also said this could either take 10 min or 2 hours and it was all up to me. I felt like it wasn’t getting me anywhere, but they were all telling me what a great job I was doing. Another head midwife showed up so now I had 4 around me; They kept suggesting different postions to push in. I tried 2 birthing stools, lying on my side with one knee up, in the tub…they even made me sit on the toilet for a bit. I most preferred just being on my back and holding my knees up. Finally, his head was out a bit. It was so weird because all I felt with my hand was a fold of skin and I had expected it to me like flat against his skull but it had scrunched together. I pushed and pushed and it didn’t seem to be doing much, plus I had developed so insanely huge hemorrhoids that felt bigger than his head. The midwife said that with the baby’s position and the size of my perineum, she had no choice but to cut a bit. She ended up having to cut a bit more. I was just happy to know some progress was being made. Soon after, his head was out. I reached down and felt his ears and flapped them back and forth. I figured that was it but they said to keep pushing…just a few more and he was out. I pulled him up onto my chest and just hugged him and stroked him and told him how much I love him. I thanked everyone around me for helping me achieve my dream birth.

They were a bit concerned when my placenta hadn’t come after a while so I suggested stimulating my nipples because I knew that would contract my uterus. So I rubbed them a bit and it came out right away. My husband was holding the baby and then my mom came and held him while Joe passed out and I got sewn up. Then I slept a bit and then they did the infant exam. 8lb 7 ½ oz and 20 ½ inches. Then that was it. We went home.

I have finally caught up on sleep. I actually woke up at 3:30 am this morning wide awake. So I wanted to write my birth story while it was fresh in my head, even though I know I will never forget this truly incredible experience. I feel like I have accomplished something that will have a big impact on defining who I am for the rest of my life. I didn’t give up on what I believed and what I wanted for myself and my baby. All I gave up was fear. I feel very connected to my body and I know that it took giving up my fear to open up and invite my son into the world.

My husband and I only wanted two kids, and I really wanted to experience a totally med-free VBAC after our 1st child was born via C-section due to breech presentation. I realize that’s not always possible, and really, the most important thing is that the baby is born healthy, but it was something I really wanted to at least get a chance to attempt.

We were so incredibly happy that our daughter stayed head down and I was able to have the birth experience I’d always wanted. I was finally able to put all that research and practicing relaxation techniques to practice and it really couldn’t have been a more blessed, awesome experience.

15 hours of (back) labor, and 15 minutes of pushing, and the goal was accomplished, and worth every second. :-)

Absolutly worth the pain, agony, research, worry – all of it. Having a VBAC was such a wonderful blessing, I hope I can continue to have my children naturally in the future!