adopt children

Found here, written by © Pamela Durkota, for Josh

KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child’s Lullabye)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are… what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

“There are no unwanted children, just unfound families.” – National Adoption Center

There are so many children in the world whose life has started off on the wrong foot. Hence, if I can make the world a better place, you certainly don’t have to ask me twice.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to adopt my first child, but first things first. I’ll just have to wait how things turn out for me next year and then I can seriously start to think about it.

If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I would have said that I don’t feel ready to have children in the forseeable future. However, I was at my cousin’s place on Monday (she has 3 children), and even though I spent just one day with her and her children, it made me so happy just to be around the children, talking, playing, explaining things and philosophizing (and I tell you, I can better philosophize with a 5 and a 3-year-old than with my friends who are around my own age!!!). Of course, it was just for one day and to be around a child for approximately 20 years has it’s ups and downs. But, after this day, I’m utterly convinced that I would be a great mother (I was a nursery school teacher trainee for 4 years and have done a lot of babysitting ever since I was 11, so I don’t suffer from delusion of grandeur). Although I don’t know what the trigger was that told me “you’ve collected enough knowledge to be able to guide a child through his life”, but I know that I can trust my intuition.

It’ll propably be different to raise an adopted child due to his past history and questions that’ll come up when s/he is older. Nonetheless, it’s going to be a win-win for both of us!

1) In one year time (November 2009)

2) Apartment on 376c Fulham Rd,Beaney Pearce 02075909500. 2bed 750k-850k, 3bed 1.25m. Rent 600pw-650pw

3) Sufficient income (calculate details)

4) Baby sitter

1) In one year time (November 2009)

2) Apartment on Fulham Rd, next to Chel-West Hospital

3) Sufficient income (calculate details)

4) Baby sitter

1) In one year time (November 2009)

2) Apartment on Fulham Rd, next to Chel-West Hospital

3) Sufficient income (calculate details)

4) Baby sitter

I’ve gotten a huge influx of cheers on this in just the past little while. I feel a bit bad in a way because this goal is just so long term it will be years before we can really even begin to act on this.

For one thing, you have to be at least 25 to adopt. I’m not quite there yet, lol. I’m only 22, and my husband is 23. Some countries, China I know for sure, you have to be 30 years old before they will allow you.

Tommy is American and I’m Canadian, so there was the immigration aspect, too. I know they say it’s easier to immigrate your spouse into Canada than to immigrate you spouse into the US, but I’m having a reallllly hard time believing it.

Yesterday we get our mail and my heart skips a beat. Then another and another. We’d gotten letters from the immigration office.

Tommy’s paperwork finally went through. We’d been accepted as “eligible” both for me to sponsor him, and for him to immigrate. There was a huge weight off my shoulders. We can now apply for a work permit for him, and shortly after than he will get his OHIP card and I won’t have to shell out $$$$ for his health insurance each month.

I’m almost done my correspondence course, and from there, we can start thinking of our other options. Do we both work for awhile? Do I work and Tommy goes to school? Do I work full time, he works part and goes to school?

But it got me thinking that maybe the reason we have had such trouble with the immigration – and we did have trouble, not just the confusing, overwhelming aspect, but there were more than our fair share of bumps in the road – is so that once we do go to adopt, we’ll be old hands at the procedures.

I was telling my thoughts to my mom and she was saying but it’s SO EXPENSIVE! It’s easier to just have your own!

I’m not really sure how we got talking about it, but I ended up taking her to Reece’s Rainbow.

Reece’s Rainbow is a website devoted to helping American families internationally adopt Down’s Syndrome children, particularly from Russia. In Russia, Down’s Syndrom children are only adoptable up until they are a few years old; after that they are “institutionalized” with no hope of ever being adopted.

My mom has always had a soft spot for Down’s Syndrome, and when I showed her the website, she said ”...you’re going to adopt a Down’s Syndrome baby?” I said “yes, if possible, we would like to.”

We spent a long time going over the website and looking at the photos, the different countries, the different options, and even the “Other Angels”: kids with other special needs, or even simply those who are over age 7, or sibling groups.

Then we went to adoption.com and compared countries regulations and restrictions. Korea appears so easy to adopt from! My husband and I originally thought of Vietnam, but for that matter, by the time we are ready to adopt, it’s anyone’s guess which countries are “open” for adopting.

So all of this is only speculation for now, but it helps to get a solid idea of our options now, rather than when we are looking for an agency to do our homestudy.

What draws me to Russia is how beautiful the names are: Larissa, Natalia, Svetlana, Tanya; Alexi, Dmetri, Nikolai, Sergei. The country is also a popular one to adopt from; I think the second most common ranking after China in first.

It was a pleasant afternoon, and my mom is excited about this now!

We always wanted to adopt, but like many are not able to come up with 30k for international or private adoption. We decided to become foster parents. It was the best thing we ever did. We helped 43 children. 40 we sent back home to their parents or to relatives and 3 that are ours forever. It was awsome when the judge asked our youngest of the three who was then 5 if she wanted to be her mom and dad and she said “they already are”. Life if good here is a pic of our baby of the family.

I’ve wanted to adopt since I was…. ooooh… 11, maybe even 10 years old. I’ve always wanted a “rainbow” family, too, of all different races.

Some might think that’s only inspired by Angelina Jolie, but that’s not the case at all.

International adoption is not cheap, even if you adopt special needs, which is also part of this goal. Two little girls from China, like I said earlier, would be nice, but is unlikely to happen. I’ve been doing more and more research into the procedures, and China doesn’t feel like a right fit.

My husband and I haven’t decided on a country or countries to adopt from yet, but we’ve talked about Vietnam, Haiti, Ethiopia, Ghana, Russia, Guatemala…

But seriously, all this is a moot point if we can’t afford it.

So this goal is more than just the adoption process, it’s getting my education so that I can work while Tommy is in school, having our own home, and the money to do this while providing for the child(ren) we already have.

Maybe we will end up with all special needs, adopted right here in North America. We would be a great family to children with Down’s Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol, AIDS/HIV+ or other health issues.

I went through my list today and elliminated a lot of things that I still want to do, but have no chance of for a LONG time to come. Adopting two little girls from China is something we won’t be able to do for many years, I’m going to leave it on to remind myself how much I do want this to be a reality.