provide beautifully for myself and the family I'm creating and be totally debt-free by my 38th birthday


 

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Hummingbird MedicineI don't think my business mentor knows what he's talking about.

I’ve always heard that if you want to do something well, you should learn from a master – someone who already does it well. Funny thing is, I chose this mentor because he has a successful healing practice…but I’m starting to think he doesn’t really know how he got it himself. His niche idea for me failed miserably. I had to come up with my own niche. His advertising ideas failed miserably.They cost me thousands of dollars. I had to come up with my own options; it took six and a half years but I finally went out on a limb that seemed – and really was – completely ridiculous, and that is what worked. Now I’m trying to figure out how to maintain clients…i asked him, but I’m not sure I should follow his advice. I don’t have another six and a half years to wait for success. 21 months ago


Hummingbird MedicineMade some money, trying to handle the bills

The propane company appears to have hired someone new. I don’t like her, basically because she lies.

When they let me run out of propane she said it was because I couldn’t have any more until I made the final payment on my last delivery, or unless I paid for the new delivery in full, in advance. She claimed this was in the contract for my payment plan. Only one problem – I never signed a contract. I called in and said “I don’t have $450 on me right now, I need a payment plan,” and they said “okay, send us blah blah per month.” In fact, I had already spoken to someone else and they had already put in a work order for an emergency fill-up, but needless to say he didn’t stroll into the room until she’d already forced me to put another $120 onto my credit card which I shouldn’t have had to pay for another two weeks.

Well I had to call in for another payment plan for this delivery and I had the misfortune of speaking to her again. Last time I had a bill for a whole tank of propane they broke it into four payments so I could reasonably expect to have grocery money left over after giving them their monthly check, but she said the longest she could spread it out was three. “Is that okay?”

“Well no. $230 is a lot of money. I don’t understand why I can’t get a four-month plan. That’s what I got last time I had a bill this high.”

“Well it’s really for your benefit,” she said most unconvincingly, “since you can’t get another delivery until this one is paid for in full.”

I considered telling her that I can see right through this and it’s for their benefit, not mine, but you can’t win with these types, unless you know a particularly zealous lawyer who will sue them for you pro bono and enjoy the process enough to win. I don’t know any lawyers and don’t have the time so I just agreed and started doing the mental math as to what sort of damage this will be doing me.

Then she said I should bring in my first payment “IMMEDIATELY! Either today or tomorrow, to be sure your payment plan gets started.” Uhhh…the bill isn’t due until February 7th, and I don’t have $230 on me, Ms. Liar. She and her nasty little attitude will get the money when I do. I find myself wondering who died and made her the Red Queen.

So yeah, I’ll get that in by the 7th. Meanwhile I have health insurance, cell phone, credit card, and DSL bills to handle. Theoretically I could temporarily dip into my savings and handle all these, but I really don’t want to touch it until it’s time to get my car’s entire front end repaired in a few weeks. I should have enough money for the propane by the end of the weekend, and enough for my health insurance by the time it’s due this coming week, and enough for my credit card by the end of the week. The DSL and cell phone bills are less certain as to where exactly the money will come from but they’re due a little later too. With any mercy at all I’ll make enough money to handle them by the time they’re due, and if not then I can either temporarily dip into my savings or pay them late. I don’t like paying things late but I think I’d rather that the DSL folks have to wait a few days for their payment than to hand over my savings to them. It’s bad enough I’m going to be permanently handing over all of my savings to the folks at the auto repair shop anyway.

Meanwhile I’m moving along on cashing out my IRA. I have my friend (of sorts) whose entire life has been about nothing but accounting, finance, and banks since he was 27 (he’s now a great deal older than that)...I’m going to ask him to confirm or deny what the bank said about what I need to do to get my money out. If it really is as simple as a letter and some photocopied documentation then all I have to do is type a letter, mail it, and wait (hopefully not too long, so that I can get this car taken care of before it falls to pieces right underneath me).

Money sucks. Actually no, money doesn’t suck. Living in a culture completely ruled by money sucks. Especially when you’re part of the 99% that doesn’t have any. 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineMy car is destroying everything.

I don’t know why I bother planning. Every dollar I get, someone or something has its hand out, not asking but rather demanding that I fork it over in full.

Routine care for a car this old is very expensive. A car-related problem recently necessitated putting $170 back on the credit card I’m trying to pay off. Then I took my car in for an oil change the other day and while they were driving it back out of the bay and parking it so I could drive off the guy said, “hmm…power steering sounds unhappy.”

“I know,” I said, having observed that for most of the past year. “The folks down at Jiffy Lube have always told me I have enough fluid, in such a way as to tell me there’s no problem, it’s just a noisy old car. But the turning does sound pretty moany to me. What do you make of it?”

“It’d be good to have it looked at, yeah – it turns okay but it just doesn’t sound happy at all. Something isn’t quite right.”

“Okay, I’ll call and make an appointment to have you folks look it over.”

“Okay, whenever you’re ready.”

By Monday I was ready. Maybe it was just because someone else had confirmed that I was not crazy and the car does in fact sound really bad, but the moaning had seemingly turned into a pronounced, persistent groan. Not cool. So I made an appointment to bring it in today. Now, I’d spoken to car-savvy friends and they said at worst I was looking at maybe a $500 job if it turned out to be the pump. Ugly but not the end of the world. I dropped off my car and went across the street to do my laundry.

They looked it over for an hour or so then called me. So yes, it’s the pump. The pump is leaking badly. The reason why it’s leaking badly is because the steering mechanism, which is also leaking badly, is gradually destroying it. Both need to be replaced. Altogether the estimate for getting this done is just under $1200. I was about ready to have a stroke.

I have grown to really hate that car. It’s absolutely huge and a complete nightmare to park, it has a turning radius the size of a small town, the windows barely work, the air conditioning is shot, it’s older than dirt, and it was made by a company that doesn’t exist anymore so people stand there and laugh when I tell them what make and model I drive. But today? Today took the cake. I was so mad at it I couldn’t stand to drive the thing any more after I got home – I just stayed in all evening partially because I was too depressed to move and partially so I wouldn’t have to touch that monstrosity that’s destroying my life. I look out the window and see it out there and think “that’s the piece of garbage that’s going to cost me everything I have just to keep it running. If I had $1200 lying around I wouldn’t be driving a car that’s older than many of today’s drivers.”

I’m thinking I can cash out my IRA and scrounge up the money in a couple of weeks – they THINK the power steering etc. will hold out until then. In the meantime it cost me $60 just to have them inspect it and tell me how s**ed I am. That also went on the credit card I have been trying to pay off so at this point I have basically lost almost all the ground I have gained.

Yes indeed, I hate this car with a passion, but I can’t afford a different car so somehow I have to cough up the money. So, here’s the latest version of the plan:

  • cashing out my IRA (that’ll raise my saved money to about $1200, which conveniently is exactly what it’ll take to fix this idiotmobile)
  • my family is not going to reimburse me for my travel and I can see that now. The truth is I spent about $500 of my own hard-earned money going back there so I could spend my holiday being insulted, berated, and ignored, and listening to my mother tell me what a moron my boyfriend is. She in particular insists she’s going to reimburse me for my travel but – she’s lying about money now the way she always lied to me about everything else, so this is no longer a potential source of funds. What did you get for Christmas? I got more abuse and increased poverty – the gifts that keep on giving. Merry Christmas to you too, family. Just don’t count on me coming back next year. It seriously might not happen, especially since I end up paying to be abused now.
  • offering another promotion – conservatively I’ll estimate it might pull in $2400
  • setting aside $1200 for taxes – can’t let those congressmen suffer a pay cut, after all
  • setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
  • this leaves me with an amazing $200 which I’d like to think will be there for moving expenses such as large security deposits and extra time during which I have access to both places, but which will probably be eaten up by some other godawful disaster that befalls me between now and then
  • gradually putting more into my crazy credit card, as much as I can without dipping into the money set aside for the move.
  • when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point still won’t be enough to slay it now.
  • offering another promotion in late summer – if that pulls in $2400, I can save $900 to go go France next spring.
  • from that promotion I could also use another $500 for debt payback, and save another $1000 for my taxes in 2013.
  • in early 2013 I could offer another promotion and save that for my wedding. I’m really thinking that by late 2013 I’ll be getting married. I don’t even want to ask my family to help financially because then they’ll think they own the event and can tell me how to do it. We plan to have a simple ceremony – basically I have to get into town and back ($400-600), take along the friend who wants to give me away (also $400-600), get myself dressed ($500ish – I don’t plan to overdo but you only get married once with any luck, and I’d like a personalized look), have a place for the wedding (outdoors is usually free or at least cheap) and someone to conduct it (QF’s dad is a pastor), feed the guests (maybe another $500ish for my half), and then go honeymoon with my honey (don’t wanna think about the cost there just yet). A second promotion in late spring would handle half the honeymoon costs and probably some other incidentals I’m not thinking about. More promotions later in the year could fund other more normal things again like debt relief and getting another car.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
regular payments on the personal loan from SH so he can quit acting like he owns me just because I owe him money 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineSomehow I'm almost getting there

The holidays were not the financial disaster I imagined – they were close but not quite that bad. I ended up throwing more back onto my really high-interest credit card – I won’t get into the details but it was just one of those situations where my choices were limited. Anyway that only put a modest dent into the progress.

You know, any way you slice it, I need more money to get things done that matter. I’m looking at a lot of change over the next two years or so and for that reason I have to be thinking longer-term.

Also I’ve realized some things are just plain not going to happen. The idea about saving my tips is a great theory but it’s just not doable. I used my tips from the last few days for groceries today. There was really no alternative, and there usually isn’t, so that bullet point is being knocked out of the plan altogether.

I’ve also realized that I can run another promotion like the one that gave me the big boost recently.

So, here’s the latest version of the plan:

  • cashing out my IRA (that’ll raise my saved money to about $1200)
  • if by chance my family really does “reimburse me” for my travel as they claim they will still do, set that aside like it was supposed to be anyway
  • offering another promotion – conservatively I’ll estimate it might pull in $2400, raising my available funds to $3600
  • setting aside $1200 for taxes
  • setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
  • setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
  • this does leave me with a gap of a couple hundred bucks, the use of which is not planned. I like that idea.
  • gradually putting more into my crazy credit card, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
  • when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.
  • offering another promotion in late summer – if that pulls in $2400, I can save $900 to go go France next spring.
  • from that promotion I could also use another $500 for debt payback, and save another $1000 for my taxes in 2013.
  • in early 2013 I could offer another promotion and save that for my wedding. I’m really thinking that by late 2013 I’ll be getting married. I don’t even want to ask my family to help financially because then they’ll think they own the event and can tell me how to do it. We plan to have a simple ceremony – basically I have to get into town and back ($400-600), take along the friend who wants to give me away (also $400-600), get myself dressed ($500ish – I don’t plan to overdo but you only get married once with any luck, and I’d like a personalized look), have a place for the wedding (outdoors is usually free or at least cheap) and someone to conduct it (QF’s dad is a pastor), feed the guests (maybe another $500ish for my half), and then go honeymoon with my honey (don’t wanna think about the cost there just yet). A second promotion in late spring would handle half the honeymoon costs and probably some other incidentals I’m not thinking about. More promotions later in the year could fund other more normal things again like debt relief and getting another car.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
regular payments on the personal loan from SH so he can quit acting like he owns me just because I owe him money 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineLife, please cooperate

Yesterday I went to the county building and got the paperwork I need to cash out my IRA so that much worked. I’m done with Christmas shopping so that much I’m now safe from.

I should be getting that $200 or so this weekend but realistically I am not going to be able to set it aside like I planned to. I just paid my rent and four of my five credit card bills and my car insurance and my gas bill. Unfortunately that leaves me with $4.51 in my checking account. I might make another $30 or so tomorrow, but that’s not enough to carry me through until my next opportunity to make money the first week in January. I have to feed myself on the road going out to my family’s and back, my health insurance isn’t yet paid, neither is my fifth credit card bill for the month, and while I know that the “cat lady” will be patient about getting paid, this is one heck of a cat boarding bill that’s going to be waiting when I get back. If I had realized I wasn’t going to get any help with my travel expenses this time around I wouldn’t have planned to stay so long. I don’t know what I’m going to do out there for the better part of two weeks anyway, outside of trying to impress QF’s relatives and hoping my mother doesn’t invent anything to go too crazy over while I’m around. What a catastrophe.

Anyway I’ll just have to pay my health insurance late – won’t be the first time. I guess I could put food on the road on a credit card but that kind of defeats the purpose of this whole becoming-debt-free objective of mine…well I guess as long as I don’t put it on the really high interest credit card I’m trying to pay off presently it might be an okay band-aid to plaster across the holiday season as I bleed money. I might as well kiss the $200 I’m planning on getting goodbye because just boarding the cat for three weeks is going to cost me all of that. (No, there’s nobody to watch my cat at home. The only person I know well within an hour of here who has a car is SH and he’s made it quite clear he’s done helping me with anything in any way, shape, or form since I have the audacity to have attracted a boyfriend a mere 5 years after SH and I broke up.)

Then there’s that other credit card. I’m probably going to have to dip into my savings to take care of that. I’m not going to do it yet though; I’m not a hundred percent sure how much money I’m getting this weekend. If I get more than $200 I might be able to use the extra on the credit card.

Oh, wait, I just remembered I’m going to have to order herbal meds too, since I’m almost out. Well, hello there, credit card. Here, have another little chunk of my future.

This is feeling progressively more futile since every plan I make gets destroyed anyway but here’s the latest version of the plan:

  • cashing out my IRA (that’ll raise my saved money to about $1200)
  • setting aside tips starting ASAP – not really sure that I’m even going to receive, much less actually save, $800 worth in tips in the course of 2-3 months, but it’s just about the only hope I have left of even making the part of the plan relating to moving work
  • if by chance my family really does “reimburse me” for my travel as they claim they will still do, set that aside like it was supposed to be anyway
  • setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
  • setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
  • gradually putting more into my crazy credit card, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
  • when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
regular payments on the personal loan from SH so he can quit acting like he owns me just because I owe him money 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineUpdated plan

as is usually the case, especially with money, the plan fell apart about as soon as I made it so here’s the updated version…

I just transferred $400 to my savings account. I’m trying to explain to myself where most of $2700 has gone, but $400 is where I wanted it to be for the future, $500 went to debt payback, and about $700 has gone to Christmas expenses including several hundred in travel that family was supposed to take care of and didn’t, and about $300 is still with me. Part of the rest is due to what I had to deal with under my “stay calm for the next two days” goal and part of it is me enjoying the ability to pay my bills on time or well in advance for a change. It’s all either sensible or just unfortunate.

Working on this plan:

asking the county to give me copies of the paperwork I need to cash out my IRA
setting aside the $200 I’m planning on getting in December (that’ll raise my saved money to $600)
cashing out my IRA (that’ll raise my saved money to about $1400)
finishing the Christmas shopping as inexpensively as possible since I’m already over budget due to circumstances I wasn’t anticipating
setting aside tips starting ASAP
setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
gradually putting more into my crazy credit card, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
regular payments on the personal loan from SH so he can quit acting like he owns me just because I owe him money 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineCan't find my IRA paperwork, spending too much on the phone

A couple of hitches have come up, one of them medium-size and the other minor but best to address.

First off I can’t find the paperwork I need to get the money out of my IRA. I changed my name legally several years ago and I essentially need to be able to prove I’m the same person. For all day-to-day purposes I have a driver’s license and a SSN/card that does that; in 4 years I’ve not had to prove so much as once that I am the same person I used to be. Well I can’t find the paperwork. This house is such a mess I’m amazed I can find me. Anyway I think I have to head down to the county building and dedicate an afternoon to standing in line asking for proof that I’ve stood in line there before.

The other issue is that QF is a text message junkie. Yeah it’s fun but between the text messages and the picture messages, etc., I ended up with almost $14 tacked onto my cell phone bill from going back and forth with him. I think I need to stop encouraging this particular mode of communication quite so much. We talk twice a day on weekdays (the morning chats are comparatively brief “sandwich calls” done mostly to manage vocational anxiety). How many text messages do we really need to be sending? 2 years ago


Hummingbird MedicineSending the first $500 in to my crazy credit card...

Working on this plan:

finding the paperwork I need to cash out my IRA
setting aside the $200 I’m planning on getting in December
setting aside tips in December, hopefully $300 or so – so far not possible. Life’s been eating them all by way of necessity
cashing out my IRA
doing the Christmas shopping and travel planning – I can have fun with this, I just have to be mindful – I’d say I have about $475 left for this
setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
gradually putting more into my crazy credit card, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
regular payments on the personal loan from SH. Our relationship was VERY different at the time he chose to lend me the money, as was my life in general. I had no way of predicting that he was eventually going to become this much of a pain in the butt, which is probably just as well since I didn’t have much choice but to take money anywhere I could get it. I was just out of college in a broken economy, unemployed, and on the other side of the country from my family. I could take a loan from someone who at that time was an excellent friend, move back east and share a junior bedroom with my abusive mother again, or end up on the street. Why the most self-loving choice I had available is making someone feel entitled to verbally abuse me a decade later I don’t really know but I just have to get out of this. 2 years ago

Hummingbird MedicineHow it's going...

Working on this plan:

  • finding the paperwork I need to cash out my IRA
  • setting aside the $200 I’m planning on getting in December
  • setting aside tips in December, hopefully $300 or so – so far not possible. Life’s been eating them all by way of necessity
  • cashing out my IRA
  • doing the Christmas shopping and travel planning – I can have fun with this, I just have to be mindful – I’d say I have about $475 left for this
  • setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
  • setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
  • putting maybe $500 into my crazy credit card for starters, then gradually putting more in, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
  • when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

  • increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
  • increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
  • regular payments on the personal loan from SH. Our relationship was VERY different at the time he chose to lend me the money, as was my life in general. I had no way of predicting that he was eventually going to become this much of a pain in the butt, which is probably just as well since I didn’t have much choice but to take money anywhere I could get it. I was just out of college in a broken economy, unemployed, and on the other side of the country from my family. I could take a loan from someone who at that time was an excellent friend, move back east and share a junior bedroom with my abusive mother again, or end up on the street. Why the most self-loving choice I had available is making someone feel entitled to verbally abuse me a decade later I don’t really know but I just have to get out of this. 2 years ago

Hummingbird MedicineFirst things first...

So, what do I need to do over, say, the next 6 months to avoid any major financial crises (hopefully)? I do actually have a decent chunk of money coming in as a result of this promotion I’m doing so I can actually handle some of this…

The holidays always cost money. They’re worth it but they do cost money. Just to be on the safe side I should probably budget about $500 for that. Also while I’m out for the holidays I’m going to miss out on some work…not too much compared to my pre-success budget…I’d say that’s another $100. So, $600 for the holidays.

Taxes in the spring are going to cost me an arm and a leg. I’m not sure what they expect me to live on when they demand I fork over about a month’s rent once a year. Anyway, I’m guessing I’m looking at about $1200 there.

Moving is going to cost me. When I get my security deposit back from this place that should cancel out my portion of the security deposit…well, if they really nail us and want a month and a half’s rent in advance I’ll need to dig up as much as an additional $400, and after that I’m only paying as much rent there as I did here; My QF is responsible for the rest. Ideally it’d be good to have both places available for a short time; if the landlord here will let me I’d like to have both in common for maybe half a month, so I’d be looking at $500. I’m not paying for a full extra month, there’s no reason and no way. Moving itself probably won’t be that expensive in terms of the actual process since at the most I might, possibly, move 12 miles away, but there’s always something to pay for. I’d give it a $100 sludge margin. So depending on a lot of factors this could cost me anywhere from $100 to $1000.

So that’s $1900-2800 in unusual expenses coming up in the next half year. Just so happens I have about $2700 coming in the end of this week, but before I did all this math I was planning on using most of it to knock out a credit card that’s trying to eat me alive with interest. Well wait, I’m not done with my resources yet…

First off I have an old IRA that I’m going to cash out just because it’ll benefit me more to pay off my credit cards a bit than to watch this thing collect dust…or about 1-2% interest, which is about as good as dust. Man, what happened to savings accounts that gave you 7% interest annually? (Don’t answer that question, please, even if you can!) Anyway it sounds like after the penalties I’ll pay to access my own money, I should still get $800 of it back so that’s $3500 in total.

Then there’s another source where I’m probably looking at at least another $200 in December, and if I can actually save some of the tips I’m getting at work rather than putting it all into a gas pump or a washing machine as soon as I leave the office, that could be another $200 or $300 actually, so in total I’m probably looking at $4000 unusual resources in the next few weeks.

So, let’s say I pay off my credit card (about $2000)...then I’ve got Christmas, down to $1400, and that will cover moving expenses plus at least a third of my taxes. Again, I should be looking at a pretty sharp increase in income over the next couple of months so the other 2/3 might very well be there, and even if it weren’t I could do what I did last year – develop a payment plan so the IRS can rob me blind more gradually.

Well then, the plan consists of:

  • getting my check the end of the week
  • finding the paperwork I need to cash out my IRA
  • setting aside the $200 I’m planning on getting in December
  • setting aside tips in December, hopefully $300 or so
  • cashing out my IRA
  • doing the Christmas shopping and travel planning – I can have fun with this, I just have to be mindful
  • setting aside $1000 for the move that may all be used up in the course of it
  • setting aside another $1000 for the move just to have there since I might have a few days between the time the new landlord wants a security deposit and the time the old one gets mine back to me – this won’t be permanently used up but I want it to be there so there are no panicky moments
  • putting maybe $500 into my crazy credit card for starters, then gradually putting more in, as much as I can without dipping into the $2000 set aside for the move.
  • when I’m done with the move and get my security deposit back, put that into the crazy credit card, which at that point may very well be enough to slay it.

Also before long I should just be making much more money in general. Once that happens I should really budget in…

  • increased travel expenses in case I end up moving six or eight miles north of here – maybe an extra $150 a month
  • increased monthly payments to my next most ridiculous credit card
  • regular payments on the personal loan from SH. Our relationship was VERY different at the time he chose to lend me the money, as was my life in general. I had no way of predicting that he was eventually going to become this much of a pain in the butt, which is probably just as well since I didn’t have much choice but to take money anywhere I could get it. I was just out of college in a broken economy, unemployed, and on the other side of the country from my family. I could take a loan from someone who at that time was an excellent friend, move back east and share a junior bedroom with my abusive mother again, or end up on the street. Why the most self-loving choice I had available is making someone feel entitled to verbally abuse me a decade later I don’t really know but I just have to get out of this. 2 years ago


 

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