I am a much stronger person now the I was a few years ago and I feel comfortable now more then I have before with the person that I am. Yet I now know I will never complete this goal. Not because I don’t feel like I can achieve it but because I like having it as a reminder always pushing me to be who I really want to be.
I’ll be honest. I am not where I thought I would be when I turned 30. I had grand ideas as a child of marriage and children and set my heart at getting married when I turned 28. When I was younger I looked up to women my age now and envyed their ability to always look in control. The idea of 2.4 children was always what I wanted. To an extent it still is. I would love my own family but I know that I am the only one who can force myself to go out there and get it. I’m not going to meet my potential husband to be sat inside doing nothing.
Learn from my past to help me concentrate on my future. 9 months ago
I don’t think i’ll ever complete this goal. Not deep down. I must remember some of it so I can grow and learn.
Part of me will also look back at area’s of my past and blame it for opportunities i’ve already missed out on and stuff I probably won’t achieve. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not.
I mean is it normal to always be seeking approval??? I am trying to work out if my link to my past is to do with this need to fit in and be accepted. Which links to my other goal of “stop caring what other people think of me.”
I’m quite a bubbly cheary person. I smile alot and will pass the time of day with anyone I pass in the street. In my world the glass is always half full but yet I am also a naturally shy person and it takes ages for me to get enough confidence to make the first move, for instance.
Work isn’t as bad. I spend all day answering the phone and working a service dept so I have day to day contact with a lot of engineers who I get on with very well.Its work though and I HAVE to do it. (Please note this didn’t come easy at first and it took me at leasy a year to settle in.) Put me outside of my confort zone though….. 22 months ago