In 103 days, I’m going to be out of here. I had a horrible morning today. First I get 2 hours of sleep. Then I wake up, only to vomit. So I’m home sick, and my mom chooses this time to tell me how much of a failure I am. She first told me how I wasn’t sick, I was actually just slacking. Then she decides to tell the sick kid how irresponsible he is, how he knows nothing about how anything works (but neglects to explain how it works). And she told me she’s never going to buy me a car.
I don’t understand why I’m worse than the other seniors. What makes me so different besides the fact that we have less money to work with? We still have a loan for fifty thousand dollars, which will cover any vehicle. The problem is that my mom is simply refusing to use that money to help me get a car. I want to get a job at Davco, the nation’s largest franchiser of Wendy’s restaurants. But I can’t if I don’t have a car. I won’t be able to go anywhere. I already can’t, and it makes me feel absolutely useless. Everyone who’s anyone has a car. Does this mean I’m not as good as them? Because that’s what my mom is telling me by sitting on this loan that she got four months ago for the express purpose of getting me a car (which I end up paying every penny for anyway).
This past week, some guy from Lincoln Tech (a trade school) came by and spoke to a group of about 100 seniors, myself included, about the joys of Lincoln Tech. One of his points was that unless we pursue higher education, we wouldn’t be able to afford the cost of living, which is true. To help prove his point, he conducted a quick survey. Raise your hand if you have a car? 95% of the hands went up. I guess I was a bit surprised, but not surprised at the same time. Then the man said to keep their hand up if they paid for the car themselves. Only seven hands were left up. I counted.
My mom acts like she’s the only parent in the world who has to put their neck on the line for their child to get a car. But she’s not. Actually, she’d be the lucky parent of one of 8% of those seniors who doesn’t actually pay for the car, their kids do.
Another number I’m counting? The days until I move out of here and don’t have to put up with the negativity anymore. People are saying they have noticed a marked change in my personality since my freshman year. I’m not as mean, I don’t put things off until the last minute anymore, my grades are MUCH better, and I’m not as selfish as I was. But I guess my mom doesn’t see any of this. She chooses to ignore all my good qualities and looks for the negativity in everything. She is the negative force in my life. And I can’t wait to move out.
