stop being abused

I’m so sick of my dads shit talking to his kids like were a piece of crap and we are just supposed to take it. I mean you called your own daughter (my sister) a bitch right in front of us. You always make us feel like its our fault like we aren’t good enough that we are the ones who are always wrong that we are the screwed up ones. I would never talk to my son the way you have talked to me. Dad i’m not a loser i’m not a quitter and people will love me. I will not stand for this anymore now dad child services have already got involved once and if you for one second scream at me and take your anger out on me again I’M LEAVING! I’m old enough now to change the custody agreement. You have always taken your own life down the toilet but i’m not going to let you take mine, hell no, not anymore, im putting my foot down. I don’t deserve to be treated the way you treat me. For years now you have verbally abused me while other kids played with their friends you never talked to me and i had to be yelled at and cry believing it was all my fault. especially when i was a kid and didn’t know what was going on. Now that i can see clearly and see you for what you really are i want to get as far away as possible, your just a smuck. Dad we all know what you love best in your life, alcohol, take it and never talk to me again, because you’ve never been and never will be my father.

The entry I had before is reather.. dumb when I read it now..
Being abused is not something you choose.. so the best you can do if you are abused is to seek help or try not to let it affect you psychologically that much.. I noticed that I had this generalisation issue.. I tought everyone is the same even if I wasn`t saying that in my mind that seemed to be the truth.
You start to create your own cage in which you hide yourself in fear not to get hurt again.
Some people who are abused.. start doing it on their own after a while.. if not other people then themselves.. by starting to drink/do drugs/etc.. I figured out that is only a temporaly and illusionary `escape`.. and afterwards you start feeling the same if not worse.
If you can prevent then do it if you couldn`t then don`t let it make you feel bad about yourself or of the world in general.

Stop being abused? You can actually do that? A few days ago a woman of about 27 was found dead in the baththub.. she commited suicide by cuting her wrists. Her mom (was my kindergarden teacher.. quite a nice lady) was hysterical and crying after her while they were carrying her dead body in the ambulance, and some guys from the neighbour were actually laughing at her (their stupid minds considered this event funny). She commited suicide because she had kind of an illness she couldn`t comunicate properly with people, I mean when she got in contact with strangers or new people she became speechless, she didn`t have any boyfriends because of that, so you can imagine she had a hell of a life. That was her escape from this hell.. her own version, and those guys who were laughing I`m simply disgusted of them, they seem more grotesque then animals.
I tought of doing that also, I`m sick of this stupid pointless life.. society.. a selfish gestalt who doesn`t give a fuck if you die today or tomorrow. I used to love this world.. seemed so interesting and beautiful.. but then one day a man comes and destroies it, just like that.. for his own pleasure. Then I started feeling weird, all the world seemed to turn into a carton board that just fell down. My mother who I tought would care she didn`t really give a fuck. Dad… didn`t even try to talk to him, he likes beating the crap of me since I was a little kid. So after this shit stuff I started believing that no one really gives a fuck, so why should I? I`m turning myself into a bitch just because that man made me feel like one, I`m just a pile of meat for these carnivores. So that`s it.. I will keep destroying my life, I will keep all my bad habbits because there is actually a way you can stop the fucking abuses, I don`t have the guts yet for it.. but the fuck with all these people and the world, it`s getting so boring and predictable.
Christ I look at this guy.. bornloozer who sais I love rape, blood, murder.. well dude.. fuck you go and kill yourself you motherfucker!!! I bet you have no fuckin` idea of how rape can destroy someone`s life. Fuck you!
Sorry for all the generalisation.. and everything else, this entry was just to release some anger.

i need help plz help me i cnt live this life anymore!!im being abused :’( please someone help me

when i was a little girl my father started hitting me. This grew into a self-hatred and i was diagnosed with manic depression and anorexia. the abuse stopped when i left home. but i got married when i was 21. Mark (my husband) walso hits me. but im too afraid of him to leave him. if i tell anyone then they dont beleive me because my husband is considered a saint in everyones lives. i am finding it too much to cope with my anorexia, depression, daughters recent suicide and his abuse. i cant live like this anymore. i need help!!!