finish the website

Not only that it would require a great skill for making a webpage so I decided on keeping up with my ebay. And I am now starting to open an etsy store.

I’m considering not doing this, but getting it in good shape for others to move along, and then – so sorry! – leaving.

The flesh is so weak, and it’s gotten really horrible, but this is the last day I am going to spend surfing back and forth between here, Facebook, my email, and a couple of other sites. I actually found and installed a script (look at me geeking out here!) that blocks any sites you want until a specified hour of the day (6 pm in my case). Tomorrow we will see if this actually works.

So I hope all of you will summon your inner resources and be able to get through each day without me. I will, though, still be thinking about you, and will be available most evenings.

Right now, I don’t want to work on this at all. I’ve hit the wall. Sick of having to spend time on it every weekend. It feels like I’m never going to finish it.

Apteryx put his finger on what I’m going through. Innumerable piddly-shit (and not so piddly-shit) demands on my time, meetings, requests from the boss, managing interns, etc., that I have no time to think about the huge project I’m really supposed to be doing. The worst, recently: I’ve been begging for them to hire another science analyst for months, to handle all the piddly-shit demands, and finally they’re doing it, except who gets to manage the interviews, call references, etc.? Yep, me. In my copious free time, of course. And by the time we hire this person she won’t be any help, and I will have to participating in her training.

And yes, I would be happy to work at home in the evenings… but I’ve had bronchitis for 4 weeks as of today and I get home and just want to collapse. It’s enough of a struggle getting enough sleep when I am waking up at 3:30 am thinking about how the website writing is steadily piling up in my queue.

Makes a girl want to walk out the door and not come back. If it weren’t for the health insurance…

I relinquish my life to this project and it still doesn’t get done? and I haven’t even taken the time to look at my choices for next steps? and I’ve scared off all my friends (like I did J)?

Holy hell. Not sure I can bear that thought.

is that I actually like doing the writing/editing when I get the time to focus on and think about it. Tonight, for example, I landed on a great meta-analysis of aromatase inhibitors for metastatic breast cancer, I learned a bunch of cool stuff, and now everything is clear. And I identified a new controversy topic.

But I’m still PO’d at the science writer who got it all wrong, and wish I weren’t so slow and disorganized at this stuff!

Another thing that will help: to really organize the work I need to do at home/Starbucks, instead of just sliding a pile of paper off my desk and into a folder and assuming I have what I need. That way it’s easier to jump in and actually work without getting frustrated and going off to surf through years’ worth of LOLcats or challah recipes or (worse) check to see who’s peeking at me on jdate. :-/

This is the one thing that’s getting in the way of the rest of my life. The content is not going to write or edit itself. Even if I don’t have time to get it done during my regular work day, it still has to get done, and soon. The other stuff that comes up at work is not going to stop.

Unfortunately the only solution is to work on it during my, ahem, free time. But it’s only for another, oh, 2 1/2 months. I’m putting my social life on hold. Maybe I’ll do something like keep a journal (e.g., here) of things I’m looking forward to doing when I’m done.

But it just has to get done, and no one’s going to do it but me. Starting right now.

:-(

the IBS website which is really what I should be doing right now. Damn you interweb!