I made contact with my dad on 7th February 2008 after not seeing or speaking to him for 15 years. Not speaking to him was not my choice but rather that of my mothers, who moved my sister and I away to Cyprus (from the UK) when I was 5 years old. My parents divorced when I was 3 or 4 and dad continued to be part of my life right until we got on the plane. From that point on, we lost all contact. To this day I’m unclear on exactly who is to ‘blame’ because I now have two different versions of events! On one hand my mum told me it was dad who didn’t make contact and she told me horrible things about dad which in recent years I’ve found to be untrue, and on the other my dad tells me he did try to stay in touch. We moved around Cyprus so much and then moved to Canada for a short time before coming back to the UK, it’s understandable that contact would be lost.
When I was 18 I decided to look for him which didn’t go down very well with mum. She gave me a really hard time claiming that I’d hurt her and that she’d disown me. As I had great memories of my dad from my childhood,I knew I had to find him regardless and get my own answers. She just needed time for it to sink in I decided.
I found him within a month of looking. I knew my dad was from Leeds and lived there when we were little so that’s where I started. With the wonder that is the internet and social networking, it was fairly straight forward. I’d enquired at the Salvation Army but that didn’t yeild much fruit as all I had was a name and a possible city. So I turned to social websites. I found a profile on www.friendsreunited.com (or .co.uk) that matched the name and city. There was no address or picture. But in the ‘About me’ section there was an interest in football (I knew he played when I was little) and also that he had 2 daughters and 1 son. I thought the 2 daughtrs could be my sister and I, and it’s not far fetched that in 15 years he’d have another! And also that he’d moved to Harrogate. As there was no address, I wrote a letter to him and sent it c/o Harrogate Council. Not much information to go on but I though ‘what the hell?!’. Anyway, I found out later that the council had sent it to his old address and the people who were then living there had opened my letter, seen the nature of it (‘Are you my dad?’ pretty much!) and sent it back to the council asking to find my dads new residence. And he got it :) I got an email from him on 7th of February 2008. After we caught up a little by email and confirmed he was dad and I was daughter, we started talking on the phone and I went and met him the following March. Best decision I ever made. We’re really close and get along so well. We’re scarily alike too! And I have a brother who’s ace!
Mum also came round eventually and saw my point of view. She now supports both mine and my sisters right to have contact with our dad :) 2 months ago