Because we all think differently & what to some people looks good, to others it’s look disgusting. We all are different. 1 month ago
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For me, it’s doing what I want to do instead of what I’m supposed to be doing. It took a long time for me to figure that one out. 1 month ago
SJ42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
No way. 10 years is a whole lot of books that could be read. 1 month ago
My parents. No question there. 1 month ago
SJ40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Quit job, went back to school. No net. 1 month ago
Nope. Life has totally changed in the last few months. So maybe I have lived this day of studying and reading 50 to 60 times before, but not 100.
As for the fretting going on today…well I’ve probably lived through that a thousand times before. Such is life. I really hope he calls! 1 month ago
Let’s be honest honest here – less work to do. I know I’m going to have a job I love one day, but I certainly don’t want it to take over my life. I have many widely varied interests and there is no way that a single profession could fulfill all of them. I’d also like to have a family at some point. 1 month ago
Temporarily. I’d finish my Statistics degree and then consider grad school. Not having to worry about money for awhile would allow me to get through much faster, and with less stress. Oh man, I wish. 1 month ago
I don’t really believe in “evil” as a trait of something. 1 month ago
Fuck if I know. One of the many (MANY) reasons I do not support nor follow any religion. Staunch atheist for life, yo. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceDecisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I like this question. It’s an issue I’ve been tackling. I think this is because I’m a mature student back at university, so people who are only 5 or so years older than me make decisions about what I’m going to learn and when, and what work I’m going to do for when. It has felt, at times, infantalising.
Recently, I’ve been taking more of a hand in this. Speaking up when there is too much work, asking for suggestions on what to do when there isn’t quite enough. This has brought up issues of power when certain people accidentally (sometimes accidentally on purpose) forget who they are speaking to. I have learned more about assertiveness and standing up for myself talking to people only a little older than me, than when they were 20 years older than me.
So, yes. I think I am making decisions for myself. But sometimes I’m having to wrest them out of the hands of others. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceIn 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I don’t think I’ve had a great year in this department. I always feel like I should have got more done. However, when I think about it, getting more done increases my satisfaction, but it doesn’t make my day more memorable.
To be honest, I don’t need every day to be memorable, though it is important to me that some are. Currently, I make enough memories for myself, and seem to naturally look for ways to make more.
I do wish every day were satisfying – that I could end the day feeling proud of myself. That isn’t happening right now. That is what I’d like to change. 1 month ago
I’m learning to love myself, if a who counts as a what. I expressed this by asking for something that I wanted for myself. I asked in such a way that the person who ended up having to say no to me took the time to do so graciously. That was a nice experience.
I also love food. Seriously. Especially new kinds of food. I express this by exclaiming over my meal :D
I love games. I express this by learning about them, by putting time into playing and analysing them. By investing money in them and financially backing people who are starting new and exciting projects. I’d like to start expressing this by making more of my own games.
I love being outdoors in a relaxed sort of sense, not in a camping in the wilderness sort of sense. I haven’t expressed this very much recently. I’d like to express it by getting out more. 1 month ago
Some time last night. I actually do quite often.
Wonder what the significance of that is? It could be self-consciousness or maybe I’m noticing anxiety, in which case it means I’m aware. 1 month ago
I’d speak my mind more often. Share an opinion, belief or value more often. Make suggestions more often. Guess an answer more often. I’d also tell people how what they said or did really left me feeling. I’d ask for things I need more often. 1 month ago
Oooh, this is eeeeeeeasy. There’s bucket loads of research on this one. It’s because we value people who are brilliant over people who learn because we basically believe that people who learn will never be as capable or as brilliant as the brilliant. So we’re all trying to pretend to be brilliant in an effort to be valued more highly. This is especially true for highly intelligent people who have been praised for being brilliant – they become fearful that they’re not and will lose value if anyone finds out. Read Carol Dweck whose a big researcher on this topic if you’re interested.
Although I think that in some situations, like perhaps social situations or high-stakes situations like a job interview, we are afraid of doing irreperable damage too. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceWhen is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
There’s a time for calculating risks and rewards? 1 month ago
Being alive is a medical diagnosis. Truly living is self-defined. As such, it is different for each of us, but probably has at its core some Aristotelian notion of flourishing rather than merely surviving.
For me personally, truly living means feeling free from the oppression of others, feeling safe, belonging, engaging in new things at my own pace and enjoying the simple things in life. Sometimes I add being courageous and impacting the world to that list. But it seems to come after the others. I admire those who are strong enough for it to come first. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceWould you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Definitely not to become famous. I don’t understand some people’s obsession with that. The attractiveness is tempting, but ultimately not convincing either. If I knew for a fact I would live to be 90, I’d probably give up the last ten years for it. I think it could affect my quality of life. But otherwise no.
What I would definitely do is give up the last 10 years to be extremely healthy and fit for the remainder. I’d slam that button without hesitation. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceIf you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
My partner, my cousin, my aunt. If ‘everyone’ includes pets, then my cats. Some day I hope to have one or two good friends to add to that list. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceWhen was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Last night. And then also a few days ago. I’ve been working on standing up for myself, but doing it gently. I call it winning without a fight. I’ve even been doing it with people who are significantly more powerful than me when I feel they have been unfair or have used undue force.
I haven’t known what the outcome will be and at times I’ve felt extremely, extremely anxious about that. People in power terrify me more than they do most people. I think it’s something that gets hard-wired into your brain if you are abused.
Central to being brave enough to do this, I’ve discovered, is being able to bear standing alone, frightened and vulnerable, and having that soft glow to soothe you. 1 month ago
Oh yes. And sometimes I despair. I keep hoping I will change with enough time and effort though. 1 month ago
At the moment, I have so much work to do that for months at a time I don’t get to do anything else. Not even take the time to cook/eat properly. I also am not enjoying the work. But if that were merely swapped out for work I enjoy more, it would be better, but I’d still miss the balance and still wish I had time for other things in my life.
If I absolutely had to choose, I’d go for the less work option, because there are sources of joy and satisfaction to me other than work, so I’d still be able to build a happy life for myself. Not so sure I could do that if I took the joyful burnout route. 1 month ago
Not a chance. I have some things I want to accomplish that are not about being paid to do it (eg creative projects and personal challenges). And besides, I don’t think a million dollars is enough to cover everything I want to accomplish over the rest of my life (like all that travelling!). But then again, I’m from a developing country, so it’s hard for me to even conceptualise what a million dollars means :p 1 month ago
No. But it’s possible to have good arguments for or against, and to engage in civil and reasonable dialogue with others. Then again, I am assuming that dialogue rather than violence is a good thing :) 1 month ago
Frankly, I’m not educated enough on the matter to really say. For example, given that the bible preaches that you should “love thy neighbour”, how was the Spanish Inquisition justified theologically? I just don’t know.
I would guess that there are a number of factors at play. Firstly, the people leading religions are not necessarily the greatest believers in those religions. Some may actually be after power or wealth, and using religion as a way to get it. So a lot of things get done in the name of a religion that are actually done for the personal benefit of a leader.
A second factor might be that some modern religions worship a jealous and dogmatic god who commands that no other may be worshipped. I mean, what else is going to come out of that really?
Lastly, I think the concept of sin is problematic. We are not merely talking about lists of things that are and are not okay to do. We are talking about people who may be inhabited by a malevolent demon who may use this individual to get to you, to your eternal soul, to your very essence. That’s pretty threatening and people do aggressive, violent and controlling things when threatened. 1 month ago
Cora_and_ClariceHave you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
No. I feel most connected when me and the other person and actually talk and listen to one another. 1 month ago
I don’t understand what this question means. If it means what would you lose if you gave up now?, for some of the things I’m doing it would mean I wouldn’t have a frickin’ career. I wouldn’t be able to earn properly. I wouldn’t have all that independence I’m looking forward to reaping. So I guess I better carry on working towards achieving it, hey? :)
If it means what do you have to lose by trying?, then the question is presumptuous as it assumes you haven’t achieved because you haven’t tried, rather than that you’re in the middle of it or hitting hurdles.
The first interpretation helps me more. 1 month ago