be nicer to my kids

I’m back on track. I’m really trying and doing better. The kids are lovely and angelic as usual.
I found that, no matter what, around 7pm I start losing my patience. And it’s just on supper-bath-bed time. I explained that to the kids, and asked what they thought we could do. My oldest (five and a half) said: Mother, you don’t have to always be nice to us!
I looked at her with my mouth wide open, it took me half a minute to regain my ability to talk.

She deserves a better mother. Sometimes I wish she had one.
It’s not that I’m a bad mother. It’s not that I don’t love her to bits. It’s just that I don’t enjoy it. She deserves someone who would enjoy her, as she is so enjoyable. She deserves the best mother in the world.
And I would get to be some aunt or something. Her mother’s best friend or something. I would get to know her and love her and have a meaningful relationship with her without having to mother her.
I want to cry now, but I can’t. This is a new thing. Started last night. I’ve never had a problem crying!

Raising two boys on this world is a very hard task, because as a christian mother I want them to be in God’s purpose.
I don’t think I’m the only one, but sometimes christian parents tend to be too demanding,we demand ourselves to raise almost perfect children, because of good testimony.

I confess I’ve established many rules at home. They’re good, they’re appropiate, but sometimes it is also good just to relax.

In what sense the Glorious name of Jesus is blasphemed if my 6 & 5 year old kids do not lay their beds?

In NO sense.

So, let’s celebrate our freedom in Jesus!!!

They aren’t gonna lay beds today!

It’s wonderful to enjoy their smiling faces.

Thanks, Lord.

Mommy hasn’t yelled. Mommy has behaved.

I went to my parents’ place this weekend and, of course, I took my kids with me.
I sterred at them when we’re on the train, they didn’t complained for the early hours they got up, they were very sleepy, but they had time for smiling Mom.

They are like my angels of guard, always with me.

Thanks, dear God, for them. I don’t deserve them. Bless them, please.

I have two wonderful kids: 7 and 5. I love them with all of my heart. But I must change. I’m too demanding, too obsesive, I yell at them all the time, etc.

They deserve to have a nicer mom!

She’s such an angle with everyone else, but with me she gets so upset, cries and shouts and screams horrible things at me. This sucks.

And they’ve been pretty nice to me.

Everything was a battle. My daughter woke up already with that complaining tone of voice I can’t stand. Everything was an argument, wew were runnign late, I stressed. Slowly it has intensified into a screaming contest (I win, but not easily). We dropped my son at his preschool, usually he’s happy to stay there, but this morning – with me and daughter screaming all the way in – I wasn’t surprised he didn’t want to stay and cried as we left.
More screams…
We headed off to my daughter’s preschool, argued some more on the way, calmed down slowly into a miserable silence, and then I drove straight into a very busy junction at red light, not understanding why everyone was driving over me. I almost killed us. I don’t know how that happened. I was driving, didn’t look at the light, it changed and I didn’t stop. I was crying when I dropped her off, saying “Oh no, oh no” without ability to stop. She said goodbye very well, which she sometimes doesn’t, feeling that this time is different. I went outside, phoned my partner bowling, asked him to calm me down, which he did, my sweet love.
I’m waiting to stay alone in the office and I’m going to phone preschool and talk to her, just to tell her I love her.
“Mommy’s sorry she almost killed you”.
Oy.

My daughter does not argue as much with my partner’s daughter; generally she is in a much better mood and has far less tantrums than before (trying to remember – could it really be only one last week?); my partner and my daughter are getting along better.
She is so ready to love him, but he was so upset about her behaviour. I told him jently (I hope it was jently) that this was a vicious cycle. He didn’t like to be told that, but I have to say he’s been so much better since, and so was she. I love them both so much.