live up to my potential

This year, after promising myself I would get good grades, I left my sophomore year with a c+ average. First semester, I nearly failed an honors class that was so easy, I wanted to cry, because I didn’t do the work, my saving grace was the fact I aced all the tests. I nearly did bad in my art classes, and got a 89 in my AP class, when I know for a fact, I could have easily gotten an A. I know that if I had put in just 5% more effort, I could have easily gotten All A’s, (except for my spanish class, it’s hard when it’s the 3rd year, you’re in honors, and your teacher is absolutely effing CRAZY! )

I feel like I’m sabotaging myself, and how am I supposed to leave Georgia and go back to my homeland, New England (MA!!) if I keep effing up, even when It takes so little time and effort??

I want to live up to my potential

I’m not dumb. I’m a professional engineer in two states. I have over twenty years experience in my industry. Yet I can’t earn a promotion to save me. I know how to conduct a meeting. I know how to manage a project, I know how to speak in public. Yet I don’t even try to sell my skills to folks who could better enable my career. I’ve got to do better. I’ve got to show confidence. I’ve got to move ahead.

Life has been in 2nd gear for quite a while – things are quite good, but I’m not really challenging myself.

I will never accomplish this for this is a life-long goal and who is to say that you have ever truly done this? I can only hope that this drives me to learn about who i want to be and how to get there.

Now that real life is knocking on the door, I am suddenly confused. What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? I am preparing to graduate in the summer of next year but what am I supposed to do after that? While I am working on my Masters should I be working somewhere? Maybe I can work on campus somewhere. That sounds good… I just do not know… And I want to go to law school so I have to work on that. I kind of want to go to Florida State for law school but I have not started the process yet… I might need to get on the ball… I do not even know what kind of law I am interested in…

...”the saddest thing in life is wasted talent”

I know Im destined for great great things. I think Im kind of scared to see me do my best. Very strange but its time for a change.

I know that I can hypothetically do great things…but is it enough to KNOW that? I feel obligated to leave a mark on the world, and someday I hope I will.

getting rid of the vague goals on my list to make room for the specific ones – so not really giving up