do something

I am so sick of sitting around staring at facebook.even if I don’t have a car,or my bf is not around i want to be able to go out and do something fun! or new ! something exciting and stimulating !

Well here’s the bad thing, I’ve been talking to this girl for agessss and it’d be so amazing to meet her, she thinks so too but she says one day… one day seems too far away and it’d driving me crazy, haha I just wish I could see her if not many times, just once, If not for a long time, a short time atleast. I can’t get her out of my head but I think I need to because otherwise it’s going to keep getting into my head. The weird thing is that, everything reminds me of her, Characters on movies, songs, quotes, some things people say. It’s just too much, I don’t mind it being too much I just hate it when it turns into getting me to think if she was here… I mean, I really like her, I can say I love her, I think I just need to do more things to get my mind off her otherwise it’s going to annoy her with me asking her.. I know it does, and she probably won’t tell me. I just need to do something, sometimes it’s not so bad and I wouldn’t mind thinking of her I generally don’t mind anyway I like to :) but sometimes it gets in my head too much lol any ideas? ...

come on, you can do it. something, anything. just go and do it. do it now, before you change your mind, make up some excuse or wait for someone to join you. get! go on now! go!

I want to do something meaningful with my life, something to be proud of. I do not want to be just another drone going with the flow and hoping to get through.

i just have always wanted to have some sort of accomplishment, that myself and others can be proud of.

I know I’m going to give up part of my evening to the family… so I need to get myself together, and finish what else I need to do today.

Gotta get over to the school to clean. take screwdriver/drill so I can fix stool and put up more hooks.

target: Want to pick up some more towels. Greens and whites. look at armoire/ wardrobes for storing linens. Maybe there is something that I can get for under $50. the dark prefab looks cheap…

I’d like to clean around the house more, but it seems like I’ve been coming and going way too much lately, and haven’t been able to make much progress… or even maintain what I was doing last month.

I want to make a cleaning chart for home. help keep us on track.

I should clean the litter box. I think Diane has been hinting… ‘cause I know she really doesn’t want to.

I’m so confused right now. I’m happy with my life but I don’t know what to do with it LOL
Seriously, I don’t know what to say more

walmart: glasses?

steve & berry: bitten?

kroger: staples

costco: dog food

home: blank canvases, paint outside?

go back to work… I’m nervous, even though I’ve only missed 3 work days. We have a new group of kids, and noone has communicated with me, about what’s happened since I’ve been gone. I really don’t want to go back. I keep praying for a call from UAH, so I work in a completely different sort of capacity. I just feel that, somehow, I’m not progressing in this line of work. it makes me feel stagnant.

I will return the shirts to Target, that didn’t work for my trip. I will return the shirt at the Gap, and the other one at american eagle. I am really trying to update my wardrobe, and I think all the stuff I tend to buy is just going to keep looking too casual. I need a dressy casual wardrobe that can mix with what I already have, and step me up towards business attire. I really feel that looking the part is what keeps me from getting the kind of career development I want.

I will go through the box of stuff that I pulled out yesterday, and maybe I can get rid of it all together.

I called my mom and asked her if she wanted to do anything, so I let her drive, and we went a couple of places she wanted to go. she tried on clothes at anthropologie, and I reminded her that negative talking leads to negative feeling… I really want her to feel good about the things she does have instead of the pre-cancerous red spots she’s treating on her face, or the fact that she has gained weight because of her plantar fascitis. She is beautiful, and more than anything, I just don’t want her to tear herself down over and over.

It was good to be with her, and I apologized for being less than myself, and she just smiled… I think she was just happy to have me with her, even if I was having mood issues.

We went to costco, and she referred me, and so I joined (I’ve wanted to be a member at COSTCO for years!). Now, Diane and I can go there together, and she can save on gas, b/c she works right next door. that was a highlight. Maybe she and I will go tomorrow…

I went to Home Depot and they didn’t have the Skil drill, so I bought a more expensive Ryobi that did not include any bits, so I had to pay extra for those… so I’m going to try it out… and locate the other one, and compare how they feel. HD has a 90 return policy, so If it seems like the Skil is sufficient, I will return the Ryobi. It is nice, though, and it came with an extra battery and carying case.

I called Diane, and invited her to go on a date with me :) She drove, but I bought. We had the salad bar at Jason’s Deli. So, good.