Be happy in my relationship

I am so paranoid all of the time. I feel like I dont get what I need from him, and when I dont, I automatically start thinking about all of the possobilities of things that he could be doing wrong. I have no security at all in this relationship. I know that part of it is that my ex-husband cheated on me a lot and that my mother is a huge whore who cheated on my father with half of my town and high school, but I also know that it is not fair for me to look at him like he is going to be that way too, when he has done absolutely nothing to make me feel that way. I dont know what to do. I am on him constantly, questioning everything he does or doesnt do and I dont mean too, but I cant help it. Like, I question him about why he is wearing a button up shirt to go to work because I dont want him to look nice when he isnt with me. That is so horrible, but I dont. I am so worried that I am going to lose him, but I am pushing him away. We love each other very much, but neither of us are happy at all. We do have good days, and when it is good, it is really good, but its not enough. I want this to work out soooo bad. I love him more than anything. Him and my children, and his daughter are my world. I just dont know how to stop and relax and just trust him completely. It really hurts him that I view him that way and think that he is capable of such things, and I feel so bad for it. I feel like I am going crazy. I dont know what to do.

We’ve had the talks…just about every “talk” you can think of. (He’s the talking it out kind of person)I’ve worked on so much, so has he. But we still seem to get in arguments a lot. I really don’t know what it is. I was laying in bed with him and I just started questioning my happiness with the relationship….and then I remembered how I used to come on this site when I was kicked out of my house and how much it helped me. So I decided to try to out again. I read that most of the people with relationship problems who fixed them were having the problems because they were putting too much pressure on their partner to being “perfect”. I think that is what I’m doing. So I’m going to work on excepting him for him and trying to see that he really does try as hard as possible to show me that he cares.

hes nice,a gentlemen and always sweet but still i find myself wanting something else,why cant i just be happy?

I dont know why I am so discontented…we argue sure we do…like hell. But isn’t that the way things work. We are both strong minded, we like to debate.
It is getting in the way now tho…It makes me start to resent our love and life together.
I need to sort this as I love him dearly and see a future together…if things improve!

i kind of told him how i felt that day \/ and we talked about it and now i feel super…

i honestly think i love him…

i love him to death but i just find myself depressed most of the time…i cant figure out if it how he doesn’t fit my mould of a perfect boyfriend making me expect more from him…or if we’re just not meant for each other…or maybe im just insane…which would expain alot of things…

I had a long talk with my boyfriend last night, and a variety of personality characteristics were discussed with regards to how compatible we are with eachother. I realized that I am happier in this relationship, if only marginally on bad days, than I was with other relationships.

Also, a key to relationship happiness for me (at the moment) is not to put too much pressure on my boyfriend to be the ‘perfect guy’. Expecting perfection all the time, especially when you don’t verbally give a list of what is ‘perfect’ (yet expect it anyways) will invariably lead to major disappointment.

So far, so good.

It’s hard to know whether you’re really in love, or faking being in love. There are the times when you feel SO CONNECTED to your partner that you get that warm spread in your stomach, and other times that you look at the person and think, “What the f* am I doing here?”

Personal history, for me, means more unhappy relationships than happy, so I have to ask the question: is the reason I’m unhappy because I’m UNABLE to be happy? Or, is it because I haven’t met the ‘one perfect person’?

For that matter, what does that perfect person nonsense really mean? Do I believe in it? Do you?

I have no idea, but I need more from my relationship. I need to be happy in it.