it was ugly at the end, and it was expensive, but worth doing. I am single, but not free from financial support for as long as I work. But, freedom is not free, and I would rather have this than a bad marriage. 13 months ago
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And it feels really good. As soon as it was over, I felt this heavy load just be lifted from my shoulders. Truly. It was an experience I’ve never had before. I didn’t fall apart in emotional deterioration, as I thought I was going to. I felt stronger, more in control of myself. Yes it is really fucking sad, but, you know, life is sad sometimes. What makes it worthwhile is knowing that it IS worthwhile; and so striving when you have failed still. Not stopping at the sadness. Demanding more from life, or at least what is worthy of you, and of it. LOVE is more worthwhile than the frivolous antipathy that was Bob and me. 17 months ago
Well its only a few days away. And I will pretty much be alone during it. And I have to be strong. You know our anniversary was New Years Day. Ironic. It just hurts still so much. I just don’t know what else to say. Even now I think of the degrading things he’d say to me if he knew this was hard on me. But even the Doctor needed a companion. I’m smart. I know what I have to do. I know I need to give myself due credit for the things I have already done. None of that mitigates this sharp feeling in my chest, particularly now that the time is drawing near. 17 months ago