ask for help when i need it, and accept help when it's offered

Yeah right – my problem is I have a tendency to get contrary. So if rebuffed I can turn into my own worst enemy and do it all myself. However can’t see that as all wrong – but intellectualy know not healthy

Here is a big drawback that hit me on the way… I was really ready to get a bit of help… I just needed a few good words, nothing else, just a few good words to keep me going during my internship abroad, so i called my friend …. who, unfortunaltey seems to have felt so bad and down himself that he couldnt (or just simply wouldnt?) help me. So i canceled my internship and came back home…seemed like a big slap in my face that made me step one step back, which is rather bad once you are standing at the edge of a slope

I was sick-I mean lay in bed, don’t move kind of sick, and I was supposed to be working a large convention. No way. I admitted to my boss that I was way too sick to be vertical, and he said, “stay in bed until you feel better.” I told colleagues and they said, “tell me what you need to know and we’ll collect the press releases for you.” A couple days later I was up and moving around the show, slowly, and people were really great-offering me water or a chair to rest. I made a full recovery, and I managed to do the bare minimum of work that I needed to do to justify my presence there. It wasn’t my best convention, but at least, thanks to help from my friends, it wasn’t a total bust. Just ask. It works.

i had real big trouble at school and i had no idea how to solve it, it was just so overwhelming. So i took the phone, and called an old friend of mine whom i did not even speak to for 2 years, and i told him, this is the deal, i need help. He sat with me during the whole evening, and helped me write the letters and applications i needed to solve the problem. if it wasnt for this little patch from him on my life, i would have bled to death..

One day I simply came to the realization that I CAN’T o everything myself all the time and its silly of me to keep trying just to prove my independence. lol I had to ask a friend how to get an opossum out of my basement. Which turned after that task was accomplished, to may other jobs I hadn’t quite started around the house. As he offered to help, instead of saying my normal, no I’ll get it eventually, I said ok!
Yes, I probably can still do these things myself, but letting others help you saves time, gives you a reason to hang out with friends, and makes them feel better because they have helped you. Hard habit to start, but highly recomended.

HOwever when someone very importnat to me offered to help I did have a brief flash to this goal and thought – yes. So lesson is ‘verbalising’ does help to change behaviour. This required a lot of bravery from me – daft tho it sounds.

I did this once now, my friend offered to help me with my studies and i accepted the help. This was a good first step.

get out of this drama I’m causing myself. :/

Has been really tough and I have not wanted to ring anyone up to share as I felt it would be dumping on them and also don’t usually ask for help. However 2 people today have asked why I did not call them and I maybe just need to loosen up a bit and unbutton. It’s not a bad thing not to be able to do everything all the time and sometimes I need support.

A week ago I wrote about asking for help from friends and family. Well, friends and family have reacted in a variety of unhelpful ways to the information that I am having a hard time. Many are fiercely protective of me—a sentiment which I appreciate, but doesn’t help me at all.

The therapist I saw yesterday was very affirming of my process. But I am ready to dig in and make some big changes. I don’t need to be petted, I want to be challenged!

I have been doing some writing this morning about what specific kind of support I would like from these people. I feel like I could ask them and perhaps get some help that’s, well… helpful.