get my wife back

Where to start two years ago I had an affair with a coworker the biggest mistake of my life. Since I have changed jobs, changed my social cirlce, apologized to all involved including my wifes family. I have taken councelling and continue to do this aswell as try and be there for my wife and 3 year old daughter emotionally and in any other way i can. My wife has given my chances but the fact we were never able to communicate because of her anger towrads me (understandable) and my ability to forgive my self which caused me and my wife to drift apart.

Present day I am still trying putting my faith in god aswell as trying to make sure i put the needs of my family before my own. There is nothing that i am not willing to do. My wife is scared that I will do it again and that is valid but I wish I could say how much she means to me and the pain i put the people around me in including my wife I dont wish upon anyone. There are no words trust me I have researched but i am hoping my actions will speak for me. In Jan of 2011 she wanted a divorce but today we celebrated our daughters birthday together. I think this is positive and I will continue to fight as I know she loves me but is scared.

If anyone is having an affair or contemplating please read this you will cause your self and your loved ones so much pain 9 months ago

A small sliver of hope remains. Everyday that passes it’s diminishing and honestly that may be the best thing. I am an amazing person (not to sound cocky) and I didn’t cause our marriage to fail. I deserve better, someone who treats me as well as I treat them. I can honestly say that if she were to come to me and say “I’m sorry” and want to do the counseling route I would still be 100% in but she’s so self-absorbed it’s not going to happen. Plus would I be able to trust her again?

I think I’m a lot healthier mentally right now than I’ve been in a while. I have a lot of great options available to me and I’m in control, at least that’s what I tell myself. 10 months ago

I can’t get over my doubt. The thing that’s really bugging me is that since we’ve decided to “try” my motivation level in other aspects of my life is dropping. I’m not putting the same effort into my runs or work-outs. California definitely seems on the back-burner. Today I even slept in some. I probably shouldn’t feel bad about that but I do. What a weird place I find myself in. Well hopefully work today lets me forget about this stuff, if only for 8 hours. It’s like my subconcious is trying to tell me something, something that I think I already know. 10 months ago

I’ve becoming less and less sure that I actually want her back. I deserve better. The person I choose to devote myself to shouldn’t treat me this way. I don’t ask for much and when it comes down to it, I’m a great person. Just because she’s screwed up in the head doesn’t mean that I am. I know who I am and the life I want to live. It’s just tough to turn your back on the past nine years of your life. 10 months ago

But oh well, I need to vent somewhere. She wouldn’t really have a right to get mad, her actions led to this. For anyone considering cheating on their spouse just don’t do it. If it’s that bad, break it up first or try even talking to them. I never knew how intese emotional pain could be. No physical injury I’ve ever received hurts like this. I keep trying to let her know that I want us back. What stinks about this whole process is the loss of trust. You want to work so hard at putting things back together but you also know that you have to plan on things not working out and do all these things while continue to go on with life outside of home.

If things don’t work out, it’s nice to know I have options but I don’t want to discount the chances of things working out. 10 months ago

We were supposed to do our taxes (maybe I should list that as one of my things to do) but we never got around to it. There were a lot of tears and for the first time since things really went south she apologized to me. We’re not back together but last night just felt right. We laughed, danced, cried and went through a lot of tissues. It hurt to watch her leave for work today but it’s not like we could take time off. 10 months ago

If I want to reconcile but she doesn’t and even worse tells me she does but continues doing exactly the same things that got us into this predicament, why should I try?

Maybe I need to focus on me for a change.

As strong as I feel about this, I know I’d drop it all for a chance to put it back together. 10 months ago

She’s the one that cheated on me but I’m the one who’s begging for her to come back. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t imagine life without her. I took her for granted and now it’s biting me in the a$$. My friends tell me I should move on but I can’t. She tells me to move on. I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like this and hope I never do again. 10 months ago

I really dont know why im posting here, but i lost my wife 2 yrs ago, and even the time that has passed ive realivzed i havent gotten over her. I have since gotten over my anger towards her for leaving, I have also realized that the way i treated her, and took her for granted has pushed her away. The stress of work, and loss of pay blinded me and i couldnt see what was important to me. i guess i just dont know how to let go and stop loving her. any time i try to start another relationship nothing feels right. i feel like im betrying her and myself everytime i try to move on. the pain and the hurt i guess is just to much 13 months ago

I feel like my wife wants to get back together but when I talk about she seems to back away 14 months ago

I AM LIKE EVERY MAN I HAVE NOT SHOWN MY WIFE ATTENTION, LOVE , AND HAVE BEEN TAKING HER FOR GRANTED AND TAKING STRESS AND ANGR ISSUSE OUT ON HER. 3 MONTHS AGO TOOK NEW JOB WITH PAY CUT , NOW THE 2-3 JOBS THAT WERE ALMOST MAKING IT ARE ABSOLUTLY NOT . IT MADE ME A MONSTER. NOT PHYSICALLY. JUST WORRIED ALL THE TIME. NEVER GOING OUT OR FOR A WALK. NOW WE HAVE BEEN SEPERATED B/C SHE WANTED TO JUST GET AWAY FROM ME, AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS CHEATING. WE HAVE BEEN APART FOR CLOSE TO 4 WEEKS. AFTER 20 YEARS TOGETHER AND 12 MARRIED WE HAVE NEVER BEEN APART THIS LONG. I AM ABSOLUTLY LOST, BUT I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT SEE HOW I HAVE OR WAS TO HER, AND AM RIDDLED WITH GUILT. I FIND MYSELF, WHEN SHE LETS ME , MEETING TO TALK WITH HER AND 1 DAY I WILL BE TELLING HOW I WILL SHOW HER AND PLEASE GIVE ME THE OPPURTUNITY, AND SHE WILL FALL BACK IN LOVE. THEN OTHER TIME MY MIND GOES BIZZURK AND I AM DOING NOTHING BUT ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED , HER ANSWERS ARE NOT WHAT I THINK SO THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE FINALLY REALIZED THAT I AM OVER ANALIZING AND AM NOT GOING TO CALL UNLESS ABOUT THE KIDS . GIVE HER SPACE. AND BELIEVE WHAT MY HEART SAYS AND NOT WHAT MY MIND TELLS ME. I AM JUST WORRIED THIS WILL DISTANCE HER MORE AND SHE WILL GONE . WHAT ELSE CAN I DO IF ANYTHING OTHER THAN PRAY? 14 months ago

My wife recently told me she hadn’t been interested in intimacy for a long time 1-1 1/2 years. We have been married for 7 years and have had a lot of good times, but a lot of stress-mostly over my kids. She said the beginning of the end started when I told her I would make my 20 year old son move out, even though he couldn’t support himself and is in school. I then back-tracked and said I would like him to at least finish his community college before he goes. She took it as a major blow that I ignored her feelings. He’s not her son, but has been with me since my first divorce. My wife is the only woman I have ever been truly in love with. Other issues went on over the past year and she secretly just became more unhappy. To skip the details, I convinced to a separation instead of a divorce. We have’t separated yet, but I will be moving out with my kids in a few weeks. We have agreed to communicate and see each other and not date others for now. She has to find herself and get her happiness back. I have been crying constantly, sending her love letters and cards daily and I know i went over the top and it will not change anything. She knows how I feel about her. I believe in my heart that there is something still there even though she doesn’t know it. She loves me and cares about me, but is not in love with me. I don’t want to be friends androomates. I want my wife back. i want my love back. HELP PLEASE!! 18 months ago

My wife and I are getting a divorce but the other day I was visitng NYC and she moved out. Yay right, not really cause she took a lot of the things I wanted. She just filed the other day with a lawyer who advised her to do this cause we were arguing. Anybody familiar with this situation? I am totally done with her emotionally and this whole thing is a long time coming so I am only thinking of the pets and so on that she took. 18 months ago

My wife and I went to college together, a little older than the average student. She told me a week before graduation that she wanted a divorce. I took a strong stance and filed myself (trying to take some sort of control over the situation). I haven’t talked to or seen her in two months, and out of the blue she calls me last night and wants to talk. Long story short, I think she basically wants to get back together and regrets her decision. I miss her very much and really want her back, however, my family and friends all tell me that the relationship is doomed because the trust was destroyed by her betrayal. I am not sure what to do. I want to be with her again, but I don’t want to put myself in a situation where she can hurt me again.

I have dated somebody since her but I have absolutely no emotion toward the other woman, I feel incapable of love toward anybody except her… 18 months ago

my wife and i are seperated. she has a boyfriend but does not like him. for 3 months now, i written and called in horrible messages to her about her. my plan was to upset her and let her see how her boyfriend did not give a shit about her. so far it has worked. i called her for some personal time about 3 weeks ago, and she agreed. we now have been talking almost everyday for during that time. she has sneaked out to see me and have been intimate many times. she is getting her own apt. and i am helping financialy to make it happen. im confused on that fact that she is still sneaking around and hiding the fact that is see her. only her boyfried. what to do? 19 months ago

I WOULD DO WHATEVER I GOT TO DO TO ACHIEVE THIS GOALFAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE20 months ago

I know it’s silly to write out and might be detrimental to actually getting her back, but it’s my number one goal. I can’t write anything else until this one has been listed.

My wife wants to leave me. She says I don’t have enough drive to succeed. Oddly enough, this situation has given me a shock to the system. I looked at myself and was disgusted by how undriven I am. I want to be better… not just for her, but for me. And that isn’t good enough. She wants to discover herself and be independent… and she thinks she can do that by moving in with an ex in Japan… I keep focusing on the ex, but this time I’m just thinking logically. I don’t think it makes sense, but I can understand her motives.

I just wish I knew what to do… 22 months ago

Please explain, how do I do this? I am done juggling my wife’s feelings and I am ready to man up and treat her as the trophy she is to me. 2 years ago

My wife says she lots of hate and it has been building. I have not been perfect and it is really killing me that it has taken her being pissed at me to the point of separation. We went to a therapist and I was told I need to give her space and not smother her. She has gone out without me now over the new years holiday twice. I get it she needs her space but I feel she is being really mean and trying to move on. How do really show her I want to change my ways of stress which leads to my anger? 2 years ago

My wife left me and our kids for a 20 year old who still lives with his parents. I am 41 and my wife is 27 we have had our problems in our marriage like me taking my job out on her and her never speaking up for herself. She finally spoke up in January and told me that she couldn’t handle the way I treated her anymore. I said that I would change and we when into counciling together. She moved out and went to her mothers on May 3rd. We have continued to sleep together and spend time together. The last time we had sex was 6/9/09 the day before she was to go on vacation with her friend kim. Well on Friday me and the kids were going out to dinner and saw my wife and her new boyfriend at a local resturant. I went and satdown next to them and ask the question. Are you two sleeping together they both said no, but did say that they liked each other and would be together when my wife divorces me. I have thought for a while that something was going on with these two and friday proved it. The funny thing is that when I let him know that I was still sleeping with her she lied and said we hadn’t been sleeping together. So she is lying to both of us. It may sound stupind but I love her and want to keep my family together so I am willing to forgive this but I don’t know how to get her back. I would love any help that someone could give me. 2 years ago

My wife left me 2.5 years ago, while I realize we had our issues I didn’t think it was necessary to depart. I was hurt, bitter & refused to communicate. I realize that if I would have communicated with her there was a chance of us getting back together. I just recently reached out to her asking to meet and talk to possibly reconnect. At first she wanted nothing to do with this idea, but after talking for hours I convinced her to at least think about it. After talking for a while, the conversation went much smoother, laughing & joking. I will do anything to get my wife back, any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

Elgin Edmonds 2 years ago

Lol
I want my wife back
I have been with her for almost 10 years and it seems that was more than enough for her. She left me about 4 months ago and Ive dated but id much rather be with her. She is the light of my world. I’m improving my weaknesses in order to be a better person for self and in hopes that she’ll come back but mainly for self. Although i cannot lie the prospect of having her back is a major motivating force. some days i can live without her presence, but today is one of those days where i can do nothing but think of all the wonderful things she used to do for me and all the good times we had. 2 years ago

my wife recently left me and it was expected i was very mean and verbally abusive to her. I did not actually think that she would leave but she did whcih is what trips me out so bad. All i wanted to do was run all over her and never listen i was to occupied with my own life to care about hers. now that she is gone i keep wishing and thinking why i did not do that or this. I reall miss her and hope that she comes home soon she has told people that she wants to work this out, but she wont tell me that. I am scared and lonely and i have no friends because i am such a jerk to everyone but at the same time i think thats its good because now i am on a journey to get to know my self and then i am going to try and win her back. I have nothing going for me what so ever at all. I miss her and wish she would come home 2 years ago

My wife and I have been married for 12 years with 3 wonderful kids. We had a catastrophic event happen to the family recently, which my wife feels had me choose between her and my parents. This went on for 3 months and one of her internet pals from high school was “there” for her when I wasn’t. She is now telling me that we can’t be married due to what has happened and she doesn’t see out lives ever being the same. She tells me that if we could have our old life back she would do it in a second and that she thinks if we try to work it out I would hurt her again like so many times before. I have seen now that she is the most important thing to me and I think it’s just to late. I really do believe this other guy was a shoulder for her to cry on and now she thinks she has deep feelings for him. She is telling me that her heart is telling her we need to work through this, but her mind is telling her no. 3 years ago

i too am trying hard to win my wife back. we have been together married for 16 years. ours have been a passionate marriage, sometimes too heated with arguments. i was a long time alcohol abuser, which culminated in a serious health issue for me in january. she sat by my side through a 7 day coma and i came through okay. then in may i drank a beer, sending her into a rage. she threw her wedding ring at me and cried “how could you do that to me! after i worked so hard at keeping you alive!” (and she really did.)

i have been sober since may 19th and have been spending lots of time with her. i think i’m earning a place back in her heart. i am trying. 3 years ago

i have been sitting at home taking care of the kids and the house, but every time i ever say anything or get upset over anything its like im the one that is doing nothing with there life…well let me tell you guys out there that being a mister mom dosent compare to anything and you dont get paid.. ive never cheated on my wife even though she has but we just got into a fight because my oldest son got up out of bed and came dowmstairs to tell his mom he loves her but he always does this so he can get up and run around so i yelled at him and he went back upstairs and thats how the whole fight started and now she barely talks to me and wont even say she loves me n im worried after we talk like she wants to do that ill b gone….i dont know what to do and i need help if anyone has ever been her or close please cause i need her in my life and i cant lose her again…so please help me…............ 3 years ago

I have been married for almost 2yrs and I am in the military. My wife and I got married 2 months before I deployed and then we lived together for 7 months and I got deployed again. I was pretty stressed out over my last deployment and we had alot of arguments and I yelled at her. I never called her any bad names or nothing like that. Now that I’m currently overseas she telling me at first that we aruge so much that she needed space. Well everything was going good until she told me she dont think she loves me anymore and she dont think she can forget about what ive done to her. She said she doesnt know if she can be with me or not because of it. I know that i messed up and it was just the stress that had me mad all the time. I have been taking stress classes and taking couseling to better myself for me and her. I want to show her that i’m doing better when i get home but she assumes that i wont how do i prove to her that i am and will do better if she gives me a second chance. 3 years ago

she moved to another town, won’t give me her address, won’t tell me where she works, and won’t communicate with me, other than by cell phone (only when she needs something – like money). 3 years ago

My wife left me about 4 weeks ago. She has blocked me from her life in every way possible. I love her more than anyone on this earth and can not imagine my life without her!!! We have been married for about 1.5 years. We have had our fights, but this came out of no where. God has given me strength to do whatever it takes to get her back, but this HURTS SO BAD. I have never felt this pain before. I am trying to email her ‘love emails’ everyday. I have been in counseling and talked to family and friends. I am SO lost. I don’t know what to do next. I have a feeling that as everyday goes by it will be that much harder to reconcile when she finally talks to me. Please give me all of your advice and encouragement!!! She has told me that divorce is not an option and has not mentioned it….but I don’t know what to think now. 3 years ago