tell the people I love that I love them

I don’t do this often enough and i need to.

i could write, and write about how much i love that special someone.. yet when it comes to simply saying those three words – i love you – outloud i just can’t do it.

We got our yearbooks today… and I made sure for my friends’ messages, to write about how much I love them.

Still need to make it official with my family.

My friends forced me a b-day party… 2 days in a row.
They organized the party, and wanted to surprise me by getting me to pierce my ears (but their hints were so obvious I figured it out). They paid for my expenses that day… and said they were going to show up at my house with fire sparklers the next day. They didn’t get the sparklers, but decided to bring cake instead.

How could I not love people like them? ;_;

... but why is it such a big deal?

My family wasn’t that intimate when I was growing up so I was never accustomed to saying “I love you.” Sure, I’ve written it in cards/poems for them but I never said it aloud. At one point in time, both my sisters have told me that they loved me… but for some unknown reason, I was never able to give them a proper reply. It’s almost as if I’m scared or something. I keep telling myself, “It’s just 3 honest words, that’s all.”

And my friends? Ooo, that’ll be even harder. The furthest I’ll be able to go is probably just writing it down in their yearbook. ;_;

I told him over and over again. He said he could never hear it enough from me, and I could never get tired of telling him.

I sent him a text that just said “I love you”

I doubt he will write back. He is at work… but at least he will know.

I already miss hearing it from him.

I couldn’t do it. I was so pissed off… and after I hung up the phone I regretted it.

Why am I too afraid to tell one person I do love them, in fear that they may not take it a right way? Or it could end a friendship? Or I could lose them out of my life for good?

This of course takes me back to “love without fear” and to “Be honest with myself”.

Gawd this isn’t easy.

I tend to assume that all the people I love and care about…just know that I do. But some actually don’t. Some would love to hear it more often. And I need to stop making assumptions first of all and be more explicit. I can’t expect everyone around me to just know everything that I feel without me ever expressing it.