have a positive attitude

Having decided about my marriage and converted that goal to ‘end my marriage’, I looked through my other goals and realized that ‘feel more certain about the choices I make’ is really part and parcel with ‘having a more positive attitude’. or perhaps both would really fall into something more like ‘believing in myself’, having self-confidence,...I don’t know. I was actually in a pretty good place until this whole marriage thing started anyway—I had a good job, my kids were doing well, I lived in a nice place and had few financial worries, I had walked away from a toxic boyfriend, (who I then allowed myself to be talked into marrying a year later).

Looking back, I think it may have actually been my decision to take that good job and move away from him that in fact started me down the road to ruin. had I stayed put, things would be so different now!! but who knows, there’s a lot of good in my life that I would not have if I had chosen that path.

My angel card this week – integrity.

I’ve changed so much in the past year. It changed after I came back from Poland for the summer. I’ve become more thankful for what I have. In return, I let things roll off my back more and think “I happens for a reason.” So why get mad over it? There is only so much one can control..

I’m moving to another country, leaving behind six years of life, friends and memories…right now i need to be strong but i feel terrible and very low- i want to be able to look forward to all the changes that are about to happen in my life…it should be a start of a new adventure; why can’t I see that way? whay am i so frightened?

today i woke up feeling happy and thankful to be alive i can thank Kayla for having talked to me this weekend and making me realize that i needto change this attitude before its too damn late THANK YOU KAYLA I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH

I feel so beaten by life today that a positive attitude is just not possible. I know I’ve screwed up royally, and wish I could turn back the clock – I shouldn’t have left the city, I shouldn’t have married R, I had a good life just getting on track, and because of the siren call of ambition, I destroyed everything. At this point I feel lower than a worm, and the worst of it is that I can’t even confide this to the guy in the next room because he’ll just ridicule me, and then use it against me in a fight. I feel so demoralized around him. I’d have decided to walk away from the marriage long ago (see my first goal), except my baby loves her daddy, and was quite unhappy during our 3 month separation, and because right now I don’t think I could be financially independent without ruining my older kids’ lives even more.

How do you live with yourself, let alone have a positive attitude, when you know your life is this bad because of you, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it without hurting a lot of folks you love???

I really need to have a positive attitude.

when I was little my mom used to yell at me – ‘no one will ever want to be your friend with an attitude like that’ well, there’s a sure-fire way to help me feel better about myself, don’t you think??

I don’t know if attitude is organic and chemical or if it’s trained into us at an early age, but I do know that I’m on the short end of both sticks, and I have to try twice as hard to model that happier attitude for my kids who learn their cues from me. I want them to feel all the love and acceptance I did not have, and to travel the world full of confidence and love. Heaven knows, I love them more than anything, and I will always love them unconditionally. :-)

I really have to work on this. This week I’ve been so hard on myself. I have just not felt like I’m meeting the standards I’ve set for myself lately.

I need a new positive attitude. It’s so much about fear. I’m just hung up on a couple things I need to move past.

Today I am a little bit more up than I have been in several months. It is such a relief to not have to push myself so hard just to do everyday chores.

I got up this morning at 6 am to get my son to a race. I was so tempted to just go back to sleep when the alarm went off. I’m glad I did not. I woke up my son and he still wanted to go. I was on my feet for 2 hours after we got to the race.

Following through on doing something important like this gave me a positive attitude that lasted all day. This event was important because this is something me and my son will NEVER forget.