be a better person today than I was yesterday

‘Becoming better’ requires me to learn from each little or BIG thing that has happened to me in the past. Each day I witness new things around me. Life isn’t just contained in the box of existence. One has little time to imprison himself/herself in that box. Life is releasing oneself from the box and start to live. To live is to fail and succeed; to love and get hurt; to be happy and lonely. Having this in mind, I think I’ll be able to manage living. And a few years from now, I will develop this habit of learning from my actions and living life to the fullest each day.

I am having a hard time with my life recently. My ex fiance cheated on me and left me for another girl, my 1 year old nephew is very sick and now stying in the hospital, my cousin’s wife passed out the other day and almost had a misccariage, my older brother is mentaly not very healthy and wanting to kill himself, my grandma passed out so we had to call an ambulance, and now what?! Everything happened in last week or so. I want to help them. I want to be a better person to give them what they need. I want to cheer them up with my smile and action. There are just so much that I want to do for people who I care, and I know it will take time or I might never finish doing the things that I want to do cuz there are just so many things. So I have to be a better person today to help them and help myself. To be honest, I kinda wanted to do some revenge to the girl who stole bf from me. I’ve never met her and they are both living in America and I am in Japan so there are not much that I can do but I kinda wanted to do something to make her or them regret what they did. But oh well, after I found this goal I thought its meaningless and pointless to spend my precious time on those people. I dont want to become one of them. If I grow up in my heart then I think I can be a better person everyday more and more.

Growth and life
are journeys twice,
and both are incremental;
for what once was
and what will be
are all
but incidental

- RP

I found 2 broken statues in my home, one which was repaired somehow , someway, incorrectly. I can imagine that the children broke them, even though they have survived w/no incident for well over a decade and I have created a space where children don’t travel. Get over it right. Well, both adults are clear we didn’t repair the one that was clearly messed with – and we have at the oldest a 7 year old. I don’t even think it is reasonable or possible that she did that. Many unanswered questions, the potential of mother in law madness 305C, and what I know for sure is that this is not a day that I will be better. In fact, I’m thinking about chalking this day and the next as a loss altogether. It would be nice to have something of sentimental value and importance that was fully in tact – but I evidently am asking for too much.

Better isn’t a possibility today. Better would get over it. Better would count it only as things. Better would aspire to do something other than assemble the curse words in my mind.

I’m thankful for my friends that help me to strive to be a better person each day. My favorite scripture is in Proverbs and it speaks to the fact that iron sharpens iron. When we surround ourselves with tremendous people, we have the opportunity to aspire to be our best selves. There are so many characteristics that I admire in others – their way to balance, speak positive in the midst of difficult situations, the ability to laugh and relax when all of life is full of stress. I know that there are times when I have the ability to inspire too. Together, we all make life more worth the living.

In order to be better you have to focus on the small steps that lead to the big picture. For me, that means everything in balance and moderation. I embrace the opportunity to grow, by investing in myself and my family, as I balance my investment in others. Learning lessons of being overextended is a great place to start.

I have always valued a small circle of close friends more than being a popularity queen. In recent years some of my friendships have gone through a transition or difficult phase. In some instances I decided that there wasn’t enough there to continue the effort – it was simply a season of loss. In other relationships however, I determined that I cared to much to let them go.

So, over the holidays I went to the movies with my childhood best friend. The last few months have been better than ever – when I called one day and said if we want to save this – we have to make the effort. We did. We invested and I’m so happy for the return. For my family, my children, my girlfriend quotient, my heart is very full. I returned home to a notecard from a lost long friend. I had sent her a Christmas card, after a bit of a silence, and I didn’t push – but the door was opened. The future looks bright – and I believe it is at least in part because I understand more about being a friend than I did all those years ago. People change, priorities change, life happens – but you invest in what matters to you – those are the people who are there for the long term. I’m so glad for them all.

Each day is a gift and an opportunity – but there is something special about the start of the year. The promise of renewed opportunity, new goals, new everything – it makes for a tremendous experience. So to everyone – who writes goals, makes lists, thinks about the future and takes action to achieve whatever is in their heart – here’s believing taht tomorrow will be better, because of what you make it.

And, for those who aspire to be better than they are – celebrate that today you represent more than you ever were. Happy New Year – to the many tremendous, talented, creative, funny, thoughtful, spiritual, exciting, intriguing and reflective folks I’ve met through 43 things. I appreciate you.

This is one I don’t think i will ever finish.