look in the mirror and not be surprised by what I see

Did some good shopping this week – I’m not sure that all of them match my image of the perfect me, but at least I have more to play with in the search for it!

Last week I underwent one of my radical image changes (I say one for there have been many). Normaly I am disapointed with the results as I end up looking just like me but with longer/shorter/different colour hair…

This time I no longer look like me (very pleasing!) but it is less suprising when I look in the mirror. It’s a very positive step and I’ve even been brave enough to take a photo and send it on to my boyfriend…

This is getting worse, not better, at the moment. An explosion of acne has turned me back into my teenage self, and it shows no sign of shifting right now. Plus there is something not right with my hair, which may call for heavy handed scissors or dye or both. And I have just cancelled my gym membership!

This is not really a moan – or if it is one, it is a list of moans designed to make me analyse what is wrong, and actually do something about this goal. I keep thinking that I don’t have time for it, but then I think about it and realise that I’m spending a lot of my time doing what I think I should be doing, or what needs doing, rather than what I want to do. Surely this is supposed to happen when you have kids, suddenly having no time or energy for yourself?! Not yet!

And using them to revamp my wardrobe.
Ruthless progressive attacks are being made on the contents of my closet(s) and I’m learning all kinds of things about myself and my self-image along the way.
Discardia is good for the soul.

...a new wardrobe for my new job. Just need to find some time to go shopping!

I made two calls today prompted by the ever enthusiastic Tony Robbins. More as the plot unfolds…

and the grand wardrobe cull is already begun.

• My hair may be short now, but it can’t be that hard to have it a striking colour. I need to go to a professional hairdresser’s supplier and find out about different dyes.
• Even though I don’t have masses of money, I could re-arrange clothes into new outfits and buy a few new items to spice up my wardrobe. Throwing on whatever comes to hand does not lead to a stylish look. Note to self – think Pirate!
• There are clothes I haven’t worn for months as they don’t fit or need mending – I should fix or bin them, so that I can see the rest of the stuff in my wardrobe more clearly.
• Exercise – I like looking in the mirror and seeing a bit of definition.
• Learn to make clothes, and allow myself to dream of looks that I would like to create.

A few years ago I went from having short brownish hair to having long red dreadlock extensions. Everybody kept asking whether I was surprised when I caught sight of myself, but, for the first time, when I looked in the mirror, I saw myself as I imagined myself looking.

Nowadays, I’ve gone back to a more mainstream cropped look, both for financial and work reasons, and my clothing has become more conventional as well. It’s too melodramatic to say I don’t recognise myself when I look in the mirror, but I’m surprised that what I see doesn’t match my mental image of myself.