This applies to my overcome PTSD goal, too. Last year, I did it about T. and it worked almost seamlessly. It is the first thing I’ve ever actively done I think that has helped. Many approaches in therapy do not work for me, so this was fantastic, (although I’m sure therapy helped me subconsciously? I don’t know)
I will do this about my hometown I think. I really need to forgive it.
If you don’t know what I’m referring to, it’s this project right here. I invented it out of frustration, and it helped alleviate so much. 2 months ago
There were times in the past when I had failed to forgive those who had harmed me. This caused my suffering to linger. I eventually discovered that when I forgave those who harmed me, I liberated myself. Forgiveness is cleansing. Forgiveness creates new beginnings and new possibilities for good. It is also important to forgive oneself for one’s mistakes. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that no wrong took place. It means that the wrong doer is forgiven and is given a new chance to make better choices. 2 months ago
(a lot of coughing, a little aching, a lot of rolling back-&-forth trying to get to sleep. Not much to complain about.)
While sick, I figured I was well-enough to (at-least try) to explore it mentally etc.
Did some wrestling with demons, old & new.
. 2 months ago
Still not initiated.. any thing from my side… 4 months ago
I find that not only are traumas really prevalent in my life but also grudges. I am starting to learn how to let go whenever I feel angered and wronged by someone. I’ve always understood people and their mistakes. Or at least for five years or so I have. I understand people thoroughly so I am using that logic I’ve garnered to try to assess and assuage the situations and come to peace with them. “Everybody makes mistakes” is trite and stupid but very true, and while many of my traumas are more than just other’s “mistakes,” I need to realize that the whole of it doesn’t matter. It matters so much and it matters too much and I need to hold onto myself, find strength and courage and balance. Once something is done, it is done. I don’t need to keep everything alive.
And I’m starting not to. 5 months ago
- Oct. 5, 2013
Interesting how so many times my own expectations of others – especially when they let me down – is actually a reflection of what I’m trying not to see in myself!
It’s happened only a frightening number of times, when I look hard at how I may be having the same shortcomings! Fortunately, it’s happened so many times, that I might start learning to not fear what is hiding within, (and within others)!! It seems we may share a great many of the same ‘demons.’ (Perhaps we are much more similar than different. And maybe our similarities are more improtant than our differences.)
The more I think of it, the more this quote rings true:
“Most of us take on faith only what is unimportant to us.” ~Mignon McLaughlin The Neurotic’s Notebook
. 6 months ago
It’s so difficult, but it’s getting less and less difficult as time goes on. Time has seldom been a healer for me, because I sit in my emotions for so long, and they seem to embolden. My heart and mind work like this: in marathons and fire. I am trying to embrace the water—calm and patient; flexible.
Anyway, I’ve been forgiving her. I’ve been forgetting her. My second trauma. The PTSD art I have been doing has helped more than I thought it would, and time, yes time, I can now allow time to help instead of hurt. I am getting to the point where I could thank her for the experiences. She was abusive, and I was abused, but I grew from it and began to learn from it that I am becoming able to say no. 7 months ago
It keeps pecking at me, that small memory of helping a little old lady with her landscaping; probably planting flowers.
Soon I was joined by a local church youth group and a man I barely knew. Did they exit the van slowly, collect on the other side for a minute, or did I just imagine it afterward?
I was happily expecting some smiles, but instead got the cold shoulder.
I’d expected better from a church group.
But I’ve been to church; I know it’s filled with human frailty.
I imagine I just stole their thunder. They probably planned it for weeks. Then I, (that guy), beat them to the punch.
It’s been too many years already; I’ll try to come to peace with it.
. 7 months ago