confess

Main Entry: con·fes·sion
Pronunciation: \kən-ˈfe-shən\
Function: noun
1 a : an acknowledgment or declaration, especially of one’s faults, misdeeds, or crimes.

There were lots of defintions of the word confession online, but I like this one best, mainly because before misdeeds and crimes, it lists faults, which is what I think is important and is pertininet to this goal.

On my way into work tonight I was reflecting on my personality, and how even with as busy as I am everyday, with 43T (or more accurately, the 43T community) I’m still provided an audience for my personality to play to, so to speak.

I also thought about how in being able to have an outlet to be ‘me’ as frequently as needed (in the business world and even in the daddy world you don’t really have the opportunity to be yourself all the time) I’ve also noticed that aspects of my true personality are becoming more prevailant in my day to day life, pieces of who I once was (in the days before the titles Daddy and Boss applied) are now floating up to the surface. I’m really happy about that. It’s made me feel really good lately, almost like connecting with an old friend. For a long time now it has felt like my personality has been bottled up and stuck on a shelf somewhere. Joe, as I knew myself, was replaced by a much more serious, somber version. The jokes were gone, the sarcasms, the laughter. After all, who was around to joke with, or be sarcastic with? I’d isolated myself in a combative and highly confrontational work enviornment, as well as in a loveless marraige. And over time, I think I had faded away.

Being able to once again joke and laugh with all of you has done wonders for reversing that, and I feel I’ve experienced more personal growth over the last 6 months than I had over the last 5 years, even if I haven’t completed a lot of the goals that I had listed, because ultimately, my number one goal was to be happy, and as of late, even in the face of everything, I am.

In keeping with that, I’ve decided to add Confess to my list of goals, because I’ve also realized that if I’m going to continue to grow, I need to be completely honest with myself. I need to admit the things I’ve been deliberately not admitting to myself, and the only way to do that is to admit them out in the open. Otherwise the “If it doesn’t get said then it isn’t true” mentality applies, and it’s that mentality that works against me. I aim to change that.

Obviously, this is all spurred on by a particular revalation that I’ve been ignoring in my mind, and can now no longer ignore, and for me it’s a pretty big one, but I’ll get to that later…

;)

Is it better to confess to someone about something childish you did to them, and alter your friendship, or keep quiet and feel guilty?

at church but i never really told the truth

Confessing to someone else… yes.

Confessing to the church… just say NO!

I can’t remember what I was going to confess. I’m guessing it was my love, but it seems so irrelevant now. Looks like I’ve written enough songs to get it out.

it was me

but, if Lindt are going to hand out free 35g bars of 70pc noir intense, stuffing them into my fellow tenants’ mail boxes, then…....

There are no security cameras where I live, and we receive SO MUCH junk mail…..who cares if I lift unwanted bars of chocolate from unkempt mail boxes, stuffed full of supermarket junk and IKEA nonsense ? I admit only to one previous crime in my life (when I was 16), having destroyed a newly tarmacked (?) railway station, my joyous footprints all over the waiting room floor, but this one, with cacao coursing through my veins, was even more satisfying….... (he was found lying unconscious in the lobby, chocolate prints all over him…...) Thank God Switzerland is a neutral country….......

Here is a picture of SOME of my haul.

nessacary.

Unfortunately I really don’t think I can own up to some of the things I meant to confess. Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

I can be quite awful.

Recently, I was awful to someone who really didn’t need me to treat them that way. I could offer all sorts of explanations. That I was being protective of a friend. That I was letting out some of the pent-up frustration, anger and hurt I’ve been feeling. That sometimes I’m just a bitch.

Regardless, it was not nice of me, and I want to apologise.

I will.